What is the first question a guy asks us before we take him out to meet women?
“What am I supposed to say on a date?”
Every guy we work with gets hung up on this issue. It is a good sign for a guy to ask this, because it indicates he realizes that what he usually says does not work.
We always give guys specific things to say, to get them warmed up, and to help them feel comfortable in approaching women.
However, relying upon these “lines” or “gimmicks” long-term forces guys to lock-in to mechanical behavior, shutting them down, and eventually turning them into social robots.
This prevents a real connection, and any hope of seeing the woman again. We view these as training wheels, and not something to use for the real ride.
What we teach guys are SKILLS, not “gimmicks”. There is a huge difference between “lines” and SKILL.
Feeling confident in one’s ability to flirt with women is the SKILL I want to briefly discuss with you here.
Flirting (or teasing) is simply the ability to have fun with yourself and with her while at the same time demonstrating that you are willing to make fun of her, tease her, and point out her quirks in a fun and playful way.
Flirting is the perfect way to maintain and continue a conversation with a woman. It is also a great way to hook her by revealing your sense of humor.
Some of flirting is purposely, consciously creating a negative emotion.
We call it – a light insult with a smile…
If you combine it with humor, this slight insult will come across as…flirting.
It shows her that you understand emotional communication, and are not going to be like the average guy who waltzes over and engages her with boring banter.
You are different, and know “the code” so to speak.
Ever wondered how to be on the “inside” when it comes to meeting and dating gorgeous women?
Well what we are discussing here is the key to surrounding yourself with hot women for you to choose from…
A guy who goes in and tries to shower her with positive emotions from the beginning with compliments and questions usually is seen as needy.
You want her to earn the good stuff, so you don’t give it away immediately. Once she earns, it, feel free to give it to her.
Until then, set the bar high, and flirt away.
OK – enough of this describing flirting…lets give you some real life examples.
That’s right – you can take these with you and use them today to be more successful with women… might want to keep this post hidden from your friends though!
Here are some field-tested examples:
(If they are challenging you in any way)You guys are mean. You remind me of the playground bullies in 3rd grade, who used to throw sand at me. Of course, those kids eventually got kicked out of school…problem children…jailbirds now…see what you’re in for?
(If she is asking lots of “testy” questions) I like that you are asking so many questions, it shows that you are both curious and intelligent. You remind me of Polly Matson who used to sit front and center in 5th grade to impress the teacher with hard questions. (then, if she continues asking questions, refer to her as “Polly”)
(If she condescends to you in ANY way) “OK, little Lucy from Charlie Brown…we need to get you a football and a little blue dress…very feisty…”
All of those are solid gold – and I hand them to you on a silver platter in hopes that you will get a feel for flirting…
Remember, the idea is to nail down the skill, not just learn a bunch of lines that work for us virtually every time!!
Oh yeah – and here is what not to say:
“Let me buy you a drink”
“You are so gorgeous”
“You are so hot”
“Can I have your phone number?”
Avoid such comments, as the men who say these are instantly categorized as being the “creep” only interested in her body.
This is a lousy way to talk to a woman…amazing that most guys out there are doing just that!!
Do you see now what kind of advantage we are offering you?
Learn to demonstrate your personality in a way that engages her, and gets her guessing. If you can do that you will win big-time.
This communicates with her in an emotional way, rather than intellectually. This is more powerful.
Guys who are good at this never hear “let’s just be friends” from women.
Ever heard that before?
Me too…but no more…
Also, flirting demonstrates that you have a sense of humor. Often, when you are flirting, you are saying things that could be interpreted as negative.
This is why doing so with a sense of humor, and a smile, is critical.
With flirting, it is more important how you say something, rather than what you are actually saying.
That one was so important, I am going to say it again:
With flirting, it is more important how you say something, rather than what you are actually saying.
Most importantly, we teach SKILLS and provide exercises that help you learn these skills FAST. Sound good to you?
Until next time…wishing you the best.
Your friend,
Stephen
"The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley
"Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida
"The Game" by Neil Strauss
Write a comment