Guys -

For a VERY limited time, I’ve decided to extend an incredible offer to those of you who want to work with me 1-on-1.

Not only is a 6-hour consultation so tremendously valuable for YOU and your dating life, but now I am about to make this truly irresistable.

What are guys saying about their work with me? Let’s see…

My afternoon with Stephen dramatically changed the way I view myself and my interactions with women. His approach to coaching was uniquely tailored to my specific needs and goals - something that sets him far apart from the other seminars and boot camps I’ve attended. Stephen’s goal is not to make another social automaton, spewing out canned routine after canned routine but to really help guys promote their best qualities and increase their confidence in their interactions with women. But beyond his ability to attract women is his ability to pass this knowledge onto others. I… experienced a tremendous amount of growth from this single session.

- M.H.
Brooklyn, NY

Here’s some more…

Stephen’s teaching and technique is much needed as an integral part of our being men. We need to meet women whether for dating, friendship, or possible lifelong partner. He shows you in the easiest most efficient way to accomplish this. Along the way you find out alot about your strengths and your weaknesses. If you spend just one afternoon with Stephen not only your perspective on women will change but maybe your life too.

- A.B.
Los Angeles, CA

The short ‘n sweet:

Brilliant!

S.C.
Madison, WI

There’s more too, but I won’t absorb this entire page with kudos, as there are plenty located here

Now, what is my special offer?

Well, along with 6 uninterrupted hours of my time, where I not only give you my COMPLETE attention and CLEAR feedback on things like:

1) Your first impression
2) Your Social Skills
3) Your Fasion Sense
4) Body Language
5) Your overall ‘vibe’ to women

I also lead you through a series of secret exercises designed to CLEARLY outline to you the elusive HOW and WHERE to meeting the RIGHT sorts of women for you.

I teach you priceless lifestyle secrets and skills which help you put the horse before the cart (instead of the other, which is why MOST guys are lousy with women) that drastically increase Attraction Naturally TO you from women.

We also go through a rigorous Social Skill training where I teach you THE one and only, simple, CEIC-certified way to meet ANY woman ANY time. This includes exercises which quickly download these valued skills right into your brain.

I make no bones about it - the exercises I teach will radically change your life and improve your success with women immediately. If you’re like most guys, you’ll leave me and head straight for the prettiest girl in sight. You might think I am kidding…

I am not.

What else? (Before the SPECIAL giveaway, just one more thing…)

We will go to shops in the Manhattan area where I can help you pull together attractive clothing combinations to drastically overhaul your LOOK. You’d be surprised how clueless most guys are in this case…which makes this part so exciting. Guys RADICALLY improve their look FAST with this part of the program

I choose locations which are in your price range, and you don’t HAVE to buy a thing - you can solely collect ideas and take this all home with you to purchase at a later date. I take the pressure off with the stores, and you are literally free to browse and try on anything you like.

There’s tons more, all of it detailed on the Personal Coaching Page

But for a LIMITED time, I will also give all sign-ups their VERY own “Natural Attraction - 7 Day Audio Program”. This is a $350 value, and it is now included in the 1 on 1 program.

Why is this such a great offer?

Well, imagine having me at your disposal for 6 uninterrupted hours….

NOW, imagine having me - your very own dating coach - at your disposal WHENEVER you want! The major themes that I cover with you in person, such as:

1) Engage/Hook/Connect
2) Flirting
3) Opening A Conversation
4) Storytelling
5) Baiting
6) Rapport Techniques
7) Secrets to Meeting Women in Different Environments
8) GREAT first date ideas
9) Lifestyle strategies designed to effortlessly lead you to the RIGHT women
10) Fashion/Style tips (these can be found ONLY on the Natural Attraction program)

These (and more) are covered also on the Natural Attraction program too. These 7 CDs have over 10 hours of audio - just you and me - leading you into dating MASTERY.

OK - that’s enough…I think you get the point. What was once a GREAT deal is now a true once in a lifetime opportunity. It’s really like having two programs in one: one in person, and one for at home later (or whenever you choose).

You can Sign-up by clicking here:

Sign-up for a One-on-One with Stephen Nash AND include my OWN “Natural Attraction Audio Program” for me to take home after the program

Feel free to leave any questions/comments on this below, and I’ll be glad to respond asap…

Best,

Stephen Nash.

What is Identity Building, and Why “The Game” is Flawed

I had a recent email from an NYC guy named AJ with an interesting question about identity building.

There is a lot of talk and writing about identity in the pick-up community, most of which is based in “the game” mentality. I discuss what I learned from that former life in my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend”, while mixing in a ton of healthy, HELPFUL advice…tested in the real world and everything…

Since I am no longer at all interested in anything based in games, I thought it might be helpful to write a bit about what identity means from the standpoint of a guy seeking a girlfriend, and a healthy social life.

If you look up the word “identity” in the dictionary, it will tell you this:
1 a : sameness of essential or generic character in different instances;
2 a : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual “Sameness” and “Distinguishing” are the critical words here. What is constant about you? When you relate to others, what is it that you notice about them that distinguishes them from others? What might someone say about you? Feel free to ask people, if you want.

Typically, a person has a chief feature which somehow defines them to others. It might be that they are generous, open, or happy. Or, it could mean that they are suspicious, thrifty and negative. This little exercise is useful, but not really what we are looking for here.
What is more useful to men looking to improve their relationships with women, is to both understand themselves internally and then how that manifests externally (which is the entire point of my company, CEIC). Dare I say, the entire point of “the game” is to refuse what is internal and attempt in every way possible to create an entirely new “identity” to manifest externally.

This leads to the ongoing pattern of guys seeming “incongruent”. They seem incongruent because they ARE incongruent.

Here’s the rub though, when a guy tries through whatever measure to become congruent with this new identity, material, routine, clothing etc., he denies his true nature, his true identity.
Most guys in the community have a VERY apparent strangeness to them - no one I have met - well, save a very few (Mike, my former partner, was one of them, “26”, who worked with us at Project Hollywood, another), are cool, laid-back guys with a real life, and a real sense of their identity.

The others have filled their brain with behaviors, thought patterns, and enforced circuitry which is very unhealthy, and ironically, furthers them from their goal. It INCREASES the real space between them and themselves, exacerbating the issue of being incongruent.

What happens then? Well, the only women who would be attracted to such a confused and childish specimen would be someone equally confused and lost. You attract AT your level. Let this be a warning against pick-up, or at least most offerings of pick-up: that you can only develop yourself by becoming and evolving as yourself in the end, you will fool NO ONE by playing in the land of make believe. If you want better relationships, and higher-quality women/people in your life, you have to develop yourself first.

Also, an identity is NEVER built - it is something that we discover along the path of leading a healthy lifestyle. Identity, in the CEIC lexicon, is the same as “self-image”. The only time a man needs to build his identity is when he refuses to discover and develop the one given to him. This arrogance makes the host pay dearly down the road - this is your second warning.

So, how then do we develop our identities in a healthy way, which can naturally attract like-minded people into our lives?

#1) Refuse, right now, to ever play games with women or people again. No more gimmicks, no more routines, no more FRs, LRs, DHVs etc. C’mon guys - are you still playing this BS?
#2) What do you WANT out of life? What do you feel is your purpose for being here?
It certainly isn’t to manipulate and lie, I can assure you. If you were to die today, what would be the deepest source of sorrow for you? If you can sincerely face this question, you have a chance of really growing-up. The key to knowing and feeling your identity, is in first knowing and feeling your purpose. You might not know the true meaning of your life, but you might at least be curious enough NOW to begin to strive to understand that.
#3) Based on knowing your real purpose, how then should you spend your time? If you could architect your calendar, what would it look like? One thing that can directly help improving my self image, is to spend time with people whom I feel happy to be with, and in doing things that fill me with passion and joy. Taking action in the direction on REAL self-development and life-enhancement is the best way to improve self-esteem.
#4) Speaking of who you spend your time with - how active is your social circle? How often do you need social interaction? Most of us need a balance of being alone, and being with people. Do you have this balance? Also, how often do you venture out with them and try new things? New restaurants, events, galleries, movies, parties - there is certainly a lot more than meets the eye happening in your neck of the woods, are you actively exploring this? Try doing one new thing/restaurant/venue per month with your friends.
#5) With intelligence, can you grow this social circle? Can you involve more people who share like-minded interests and perspectives? This is where social skills actually come in handy (which I cover ad nauseam in “How To Get A Girlfriend” and the “Natural Attraction” audio program) so that you can present yourself in a socially intelligent way to people, not in a socially manipulative way - BIG difference. By meeting new people, and by encouraging your friends to bring along new people, you very naturally are able then to meet new people. If you do interesting and cool activities, these people will be even more interested in being involved.
What happens if you can master these five points is that you really begin to grow and build self-esteem by honoring your true nature. There is nothing that can be gained by denying your true nature. Also, you begin to magnetize like-minded people to you, including WOMEN.

The best way to meet women for relationships is to attract them to you by living autonomously and honestly. If your lifestyle is actively social you will have NO problem meeting women AND they will have things in common with you. Also, women (and men) tend to want to meet someone for a relationship in a safe and healthy way. The healthy women don’t WANT to meet anyone via a cold approach, they want it to happen as it happens normally - through the process of living and socializing.

So, in short, there really is no “identity building” in real life (there might be in the “Donky-Kong” game lifestyle). What there is is identity discovery and development, but from the inside-out not from the ego-in. This is the only way to experience real self-esteem development, and therefore real, healthy relationships with people in general, and with women in specific.
That is the point of this website, and CEIC. Thanks for your question AJ.

Yours Sincerely

Stephen Nash

Mailbag time gentlemen. This is where we take a particularly interesting question from someone that we feel challenges A LOT of guys out there. Today’s covers a particularly sensitive topic – how to go for the kiss. Most guys won’t admit it, but they fumble this moment like a rookie running back. Want to be Walter Payton? Listen up:

Dear Stephen,

Darren
CT

Darren, Darren, Darren…I feel your pain, man. First of all, don’t worry – this is by far the TOP question I get from guys. “How do I smoothly go from talking to kissing?” Surprisingly, even the most skilled guys I’ve come across are constantly looking to handle this tricky situation a bit better.

Here we go – the step-by-step guide to being super smooth when it’s time to smooch:

In my estimation, this is where most guys blow it. They know the girl is ready to be kissed, yet they freeze up and pass a bunch of good opportunities to make a move, waiting for that perfect one. Even worse, they’ll wait hoping the woman will make the first move.

If you’re the kind of guy who hesitates, I got news for you… There are no perfect windows of opportunity, just many good ones, and 99% of the time she will not be the first to initiate any form of intimacy. If she does, consider yourself lucky.

How do we handle this slightly awkward situation? Very simply. The key here is spotting these good, small windows of opportunity and then taking advantage of them. Still better is to just create these windows yourself. I have covered a lot more steps in my e-book “How To Get A Girlfriend” but for now I have just illustrated a basic technique.

Let’s cover this point-by-point:

1) The first thing to make sure of is that you’re both having a good time, getting along well and physical contact has been established. It could be anything from holding hands, to a playful push on the shoulder. At this point it is important that she has touched you in some way indicating interest on her part.

2) When you feel you have reached this point, start slowing down the energy of the interaction. Start subtly moving a bit closer to her, slowing down your speech, and take longer pauses between sentences. The thought here is SUBTLE.

3) Now here’s the secret, the one move that will assure you to be remembered by her as the smoothest guy ever… During each of those pauses in your conversation, stare at her lips. You can even start talking again, though slowly, still staring at her lips. Start slowly moving in closer. The words you’re saying at this point become irrelevant; the sexual tension in the air will be too thick.

4) Slowly move your eyes from her mouth to her eyes and back again. If she has not moved away, or shown any sign of unease, you can place a hand on her hip and bring her in closer.

5) Usually she will lean in the rest of the way and kiss you. After all, at this stage, your lips should only be an inch or two away from hers.

Congratulations! In her mind, you are the world’s smoothest man.

If you have questions that you feel would be appropriate for our mailbag, send me a note by filling in the form at:

http://www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com/about

Often, your question is on the minds of many guys. So, go ahead and ask it! Also, as you might imagine, I get a lot of emails. When you send me your question, please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.

Enjoy!

Stephen Nash

Hey guys.

Had an interesting conversation the other night that I wanted to share. Is it just me, or do the best inspirations always come when you least expect them?

Anyway, I am a pretty driven guy – and usually find myself out too late working on projects that interest me. I’ve been getting interested again in the arts recently, and this guy is a painter friend of mine, who is about to open a gallery show. He’s a really cool guy, but a bit clueless when it comes to women.

He’s got a cool place to live where he also works, so whenever we meet up we always go to his place so I can see what he’s up to.

As usual, anytime I am hanging with a friend, they always ‘download’ their recent girl dramas. And this time was no different. My friends all get a kick out of my job, and they also know that I LOVE hearing stories from “the field”.

He had recently hit up this bar downtown, and wanted to try out some approaches. He’s not a PUA per se, but he does like to engage women in conversation. Here’s what he told me:

Him: “Stephen, I know you guys used to script these things to a tee…and I understand that and all, but I discovered that the BEST way to open up a convo is to REVERSE their expectations from the get-go”

Me: “Hmmm…I have this image of you approaching them and pretending to be gay and completely disinterested…true? Please say no…”

Him: “No way. Not at all. But take the most common scenario, a guy rolls up and says ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ – right? Isn’t that the most common scenario?”

Me: (ugh, he’s building a ‘yes’ tree here…he’s a great salesman) YES

Him: “So, what if you – INSTEAD – said to her: “Hey girls – listen, I’ve got a little challenge – you up for it? (they always say ‘yes’). If you can guess my favorite drink, I will buy you a drink. In fact, I’ll give you three shots at it”

Me: Hmmmm…that’s interesting…tell me more (aka, YES)

Him: “Well, it immediately puts a fun frame around the interaction, and separates you from the pack. Isn’t that what you’re always saying Stephen? AND, I got three numbers last Friday night using JUST this method.”

He was and IS right. I was so glad he brought this up, because it is so SIMPLE and useful to guys who dislike routines, but who also want some sort of structure to use when beginning the conversation.

It reminded me of a conversation Style and I had years back at Project Hollywood. We were rehashing an old Ross Jeffries routine that I used to use when I was very new. It goes like this:

“Excuse me. Are you confident enough to accept a sincere compliment from a complete stranger?”

I’ve always liked this script, and used it for a long time. I even experienced results with it, unlike most who use RJ’s stuff.

Style and I however conceived of a new way of wording it – by adding the below to the end.

(after she says ‘yes’)

“Hey, so am I! You go first”

What you do is completely reverse the expectation and cause her to have to think on her feet. This obviously separates you from ‘the pack’ while also causing intrigue. She HAS to engage you, as she can’t rely on her own bag of tricks.

So, engage her in conversation by using her expectations FOR you. The only difference it – REVERSE this so that you get the advantage.

Take an obvious source of conversation, and simply reverse it on its head so that you are challenging her. Here are some examples (all said with a smile btw…otherwise you’ll come off as an ass):

“If I give you guys some cash, do you mind bringing drinks to me and my friends throughout the night? We’re really tired and would love to just kick back without running back and forth to the bar”

or

“Nice bag. Could I borrow it for say five minutes? I want to impress someone”

or

(if someone is having a cellphone conversation nearby)

(roll your eyes) “Let’s pretend to be the other person on the line. We’ll take turns. I’ll go first: “aah, but I love you Jim, I think about you always…” (turn it into a soap opera)

Be challenging and engaging. Be DIFFERENT. Use something happening and turn it on its head. Instead of asking a lame question about it – turn it into something USEFUL.

Comments? Additions? Would love to hear them…

Take care,

Stephen Nash.

I got a note a few days ago from a guy with a really great question. It all relates to the issue of security, and how it plays such a large role in dating and relationships. What it all boils down to is having some sense of purpose higher than just getting laid, or making millions.

“Hello Stephen,

Sincerely, Ben”
No problem Ben.

Well, first of all, you’re young - so, try to relax a bit. 18 is VERY young in fact, and it doesn’t surprise me that you have a question or two about women and dating.

Different people are, well, different. Your friend who gets laid with a snap of the finger likely has other challenges that you have no problem with (in fact, I am sure of this). He might struggle in other areas, which you have no difficulties with. I cover this in detail in my e-book ” How To Get A Girlfriend ” .

You might be more boyfriend material, for example - whereas he may have the player thing down, but would repel a woman with a head on her shoulders. See how this works? There are no free lunches in this world.

Now, as for “reinventing my personality” - stop right there. Not only is this a bad idea, it is IMPOSSIBLE.

You are a certain way, and the more you resist and fight that “nature”, the more stress and problems you will create in life. Far better to accept who/how you are, and GO with it - really - go far with it. Do things you want. Live how you want. If certain things interest you, GO for it. If they don’t, then don’t waste your time with it.

I have seen a lot of guys, who are insecure - and who therefore feel like they need “fixing” (because they are insecure) - who then try to recreate themselves…and they fail miserably simply because they cannot change or alter their nature.

They try to become like the cool guys they compare themselves to (in your case, your friend who gets laid when he wants), and throw the baby out with the bathwater. Know what they are left with? NOTHING but a head full of confusion and the same broken heart they began with.

My advice? Get rolling, and start devoting yourself to some sort of real “purpose” - whatever it it - focus on it, and give yourself to it. Have it have nothing to do with women and dating - but rather, make it about something that you can actually DO.

If you make your purpose about getting another human being to do something you want them to do, you are set up for failure because you cannot control others. Make it about attaining a goal for yourself etc.

In my experience, THEN can we really relate to women in a right way - because they don’t WANT to be first. They might tell you that, but in truth, they want to feel that you are devoted to a larger purpose than just them, which they can enjoy and appreciate with and through you.

If women become your purpose, you are screwed seven different ways to Sunday Ben…this is why very often guys who profess to being gurus with women, NEVER have a girlfriend or a healthy relationship - they have the cart before the horse…

SN.

There you are, walking down the street, and you lock eyes with an attractive woman. You both hold this stare for as long as you possibly can.

Then, you pass her, and after a few paces, glance back only to find she has done just the same thing. Your hear skips a beat, and you wonder, “should I talk to her?”

If you are like most people you keep walking, regretting that you didn’t take the obvious opportunity to go for it.

Why is this? I explain this in detail in my e-book ” How To Get A Girlfriend “.

Why is it that we receive an OBVIOUS social signal from a person we are clearly attracted to, only to find ourselves walking away from a golden opportunity?

Part of it is conditioning and part of it is fear. Fear, a most devastating force, trains us over time not to trust ourselves. If we did, we would know the door was wide open, and would walk up and start a conversation.

Think about how many similar opportunities you have had, and with a simple change in your thought pattern, what kind of difference in your life would that mean?

If a girl gives you eye contact, and holds it for just a bit longer than is the custom, it means EXACTLY what it means when you do the same thing…she feels that jolt of attraction. She sees you, and feels her chemistry change in that moment.

It is the magic of attraction - when you see each other, and something in you says “yes”. What usually happens is that we pass these open doors all the time. Sometimes it is not feasible to approach the girl.

We might have a meeting, or might be running late to work. There are many viable reasons not to stop and talk. I think most of us intuitively know what this magic moment means, and we simply don’t trust ourselves to go for it.

Nike said it best - Just Do It.

Another definite signal she is definitely into you is if she smiles at you. Sounds obvious - and it is obvious.

She wouldn’t smile at you if she wasn’t attracted to something about you. I once knew a guy who was above average in attractiveness, who had smiles from women all day long…he thought they were “just being nice”.

In fact, this is an opening to begin a conversation. It is a signal that her first impression of you is a good one, and that she would be interested in meeting you.

Let’s say you are in the office cafeteria, having lunch with some colleagues. You are chatting away, when someone at a nearby table catches your eye. You and she look at each other a bit longer than is normal in such a situation.

You guys have all been there - you see her, she sees you, and there is a moment, albeit brief, where you really see each other. Your heart likely speeds up in that moment, your breath shortens, there is something electric about it.

Both she and you decide to allow the other to notice that you are being checked out. This is a great signal that there is some initial attraction between you and a woman.

Another way to tell if a woman is into you initially is to notice her body language and behavior.
If you see that she goes out of her way to pass your table, or office, or your location, so that you can check her out - that is a good sign.

I recall once being at a restaurant with some friends of mine. I had made eye contact with a woman a few tables away. She kept getting up for one reason or another, and each time she would she would glance our way, and then parade by our table to reach her destination.

A friend of mine pointed this out to me. I then made my introduction to her later in the night, and eventually dated this woman.

Also, if a woman is in your vicinity, and she opens her body language to you by facing you, this also is a good sign that she is open to meeting you.

Imagine you are in a group of people, carrying on a conversation. When you speak, she faces you with her body. But, when someone else speaks, she turns her head to hear them, but her body still faces you. This indicates that she is more interested in talking with you than with anyone else in the group.

Also, pay attention to your body language in social situations. When you see someone that you find attractive, don’t you subtly open your body to them?

What we are doing is signaling the other person, subconsciously, that we are interested in having a conversation with them.

These subtle cues occur within social settings constantly. If you can recognize them, you will begin to see that women are communicating with men via their behavior and body language all the time.

These are signs that, initially, she feels some attraction for you. By noticing these, you will feel a greater amount of confidence when making your introductions later.

One last point on these initial signs: if you notice a woman, and she does not signal you in any of the above ways, it might simply mean that she is preoccupied or that she simply hasn’t noticed you.

In any event, go ahead and make your approach, what do you have to lose? There are no hard and fast rules here as that would be way too easy, and therefore, unrealistic. Go for it anyway.
With some good conversational skills and a solid personal style, your first impression will be great anyway.

Your chances are then very good for entering into a positive interaction with the woman you have approached.
Here is a list of twenty-five ways women signal initial interest to us:

1) Repeatedly glances at you from across the room
2) Walks by your location, going out of her way to be noticed by you
3) Smiles at you
4) Positions herself so that her body is open to you, wanting you to see her
5) In a tight environment (say, by the bar or on the subway), will subtly, and purposely, bump you to get your attention and prompt an “excuse me”
6) Stands close to you, subtly encroaching on your personal space
7) Repeats herself, and talks about boring things to keep the conversation going
8) Asks you personal questions
9) Ignores her friends or cellphone to keep talking with you
10) Touches you in any way while speaking with you
11) Compliments you
12) Talks about you in any way to other people
13) Introduces you to her friends
14) Flirts with you
15) She asks you her name early in the conversation
16) Brags about something in her life, trying to impress you
17) Laughs at things you say
18) Talks for a longer than normal amount of time
19) She fills in awkward pauses
20) She agrees to spend time alone with you; even a small side conversation at a party, bar, or other social setting
21) Asks if you are single
22) Fixes her hair, clothes, makeup, etc
23) Plays with her hair while talking with you
24) Agrees with everything you say
25) Has that “doggy dinner bowl” look - her eyes glaze over and her lower lip pouts. This one’s a biggie!

You don’t have to witness all of these to know if she is into you or not. As few as one or two may all you get.

That is why it is important to pay attention to her behavior, as well as what she says.

Good luck!
Stephen Nash

Got an interesting question by email yesterday…so much so that I thought to give you guys something to think about this weekend.

The question was: Why Do Women Dump Their Boyfriends?

Well, I’d say it would have to be three reasons:

1) It wasn’t a good match in the first place, and she’s doing what needs to be done.

2) He’s slowly lost himself and his priorities, and therefore lost her respect in the process. She realizes that the polarity that used to exist is no longer there, and she needs this in her life. The flow of love lacks integrity as he is unable to reasonably manage his life and his passions. She loses interest and moves on.

3) He’s abusive and deserves to be dumped.

The last one is obvious. The first one describes the relationship I had before I found my way into the community five years ago. I had so few dating options, that I HAD to accept someone who seemed interested in me.

The girl I ended up with was cute, available and fun. Every guy’s dream right? Well, it turned out that we had very little in common and were at very different points in our lives. She was young and into hitting the bars and drinking (ironically, just the sort of girls we ‘sarged’ at Project Hollywood) and I was into theatre, philosophy and a more sophisticated scene. So, she ended it…and with good reason too.

Again, I had no options at the time – she was IT, and I therefore had little/no idea about what I really wanted in a woman. I made it my mission to learn how to meet more women, which led me to the ‘pick-up’ community.

I quickly learned that ‘sarging’ women in bars/clubs etc was no real way to meet quality women for relationships. They were either too young and therefore only interested in hyper-emotional stimulation (H.E.S.) or they were just out looking to be hit on by guys.

So, I stopped that activity altogether and instead focused on building a lifestyle that would support what I wanted out of life. Developing my lifestyle took priority over meeting women…ironically (or not ironically at all), I began to meet women with A LOT more going for them than the club-girls.

Lifestyle, as I use it in this context, is when you live life in an intelligent and fulfilling way to attract the right women TO you. This is much more an artform than ‘sarging’ or ‘picking-up’. What a guy needs here are:

a) Social skills which convey the most powerful version of YOU;
b) Used in environments that you WANT to be in;
c) For reasons that FEED you (not just for the purposes of ‘sarging’)

After this is handled, and only after this is handled, can the right woman come along and you meet her in a healthy context. These three areas are what I cover exhaustingly in my ebook, How To Get A Girlfriend.

Also, it is incumbent that the man CONTINUE developing his lifestyle with the woman now that they are together. Again, just because the polarity that led them into relationship was strong, doesn’t mean that it is good forever – it will have to be maintained and cultivated.

If he sacrifices his autonomy for the sake of the relationship, he will lose the relationship.

If he truly loves the woman, he will naturally be inclined to develop the relationship as an expanding reflection of his own autonomy.

I’ll end this long answer with this – most women have a dream way of meeting and falling in love with a guy. Most of those images are NOT in bars/clubs etc. So, if you’re interested in meeting women for relationships, you MUST focus on lifestyle, social skills and autonomy (lifestyle and autonomy are very closely related here).

From there, the relationship will need to be developed. If you and she WANT the same things out of life, you will naturally grow the relationship in an evolutionary manner. If not, polarity suffers, and the relationship can suffer – sometimes irreversibly.

So much of this depends upon meeting the RIGHT woman for you…which is why I urge you to check out my ebook, How To Get A Girlfriend. In it, I cover the seven (7, and only 7) essential skills which you MUST handle in order to meet beautiful women who are RIGHT for you.

This ain’t target practice boys…this is art.

Have a great weekend.

SN.

PS - highly recommend “The Bourne Ultimatum” - GREAT film to see…

We’ve all heard it…and, to a degree, it’s true…”nice guys finish last”.

Why is that? I mean, wouldn’t YOU be flattered with someone who buys you everything you want, arrives promptly on time, thinks of you day and night, and always answers the phone on the first ring??

Actually, NO, I wouldn’t at all….

See where I am going with this??

Guys – women want us to be nice to them, but more importantly they want us to have our own LIVES. When, we shower and flatter them constantly, well that just shows them that they are VERY important to us – which might just scare the hell out of them.

Perhaps we need to rethink this word “nice” and frame it in the context of being attractive. OK?

I explain this in detail in my e-book “How To Get A Girl Friend”

An attractive guy is someone whose life is in balance, and is focused on an aim. In fact, each area of a guy’s life should be focused on an aim: his career; his health; his relationships; his hobbies etc. In fact, a guy who begins to realize on a deeper level his true nature might even feel a sense of harmony with all of these areas, creating the necessary “balance” of autonomy.

Now, don’t let me lose you here. I realize I am getting a bit heady, but just know that aiming towards a goal is something we truly need in each area of our lives.

The feeling most guys project is a sense of desperation, and a lack of a strong footing. Once a guy can arrange his lifestyle in such a way as to help harness his focus (and energy) the sense of desperation vanishes. His relationships with women lose the importance that they once had. Interestingly enough, he then is more attractive (READ: less desperate) to women.

Once a guy is centered in this place of, dare I say, personal power, he can then be truly nice to women. The former example is mere manipulation, and any woman with a head on her shoulders will smell you from ten miles away. So, stop seeking validation from women, and get your life in order. Once this happens, feel free to be as nice and considerate as you want.

I even tell some guys to STOP dating for some time while they get the rest of their lives in order. Only then is it fair to put yourself on the market. Until then, you will not attract a healthy mate to you, and will instead be looking for someone to fill a hole which they can not fill…that hole is your responsibility, not theirs…

So, just now, take a look at the following areas of your life:

Health/Fitness
Career
Social/friendships
Family
Financial
Hobbies/Other
Spiritual

And score yourself from 1 to 10. We have a more sophisticated way of breaking this down with our clients, and in our seminars, but for now this should suffice. Based on your HONEST answers, where do you need to put some focus? How much time do you realistically need to meet some goals? Also, if you were to raise your level in each of these areas, would you attract someone different than you might be now?

I think that’s enough for now – and you thought you were going to hear a discourse on how to be nice. Trust me, each of you knows how to be nice, but what your missing is a self connected with a true source of masculine power. Until you reach that, you will settle across the board, for less than you deserve…

Your friend,

Stephen Nash

What is your Look?

How do you think people see you, when they first meet you?

What is your first impression?

Do You Even KNOW?

If not…you’ll want to seriously consider what I am about to cover with you. Don’t you think you deserve to make a strong first impression? I think you do. I Cover all these in detail in my e-book “How To Get A Girl Friend“, Read on.

I was just outside, coming back from lunch this afternoon. I made a few mental notes about the various first impressions I noticed from the sidewalk.

- First, a homeless person - so that’s a clear and very extreme first impression.

- Now we have a lovely attractive young woman without a jacket on a day when you might wear a jacket, because it’s somewhat chilly, and a Burberry scarf, pearl earrings, hair pulled back. She’s very elegant, very pretty.

- And then there’s a gentleman standing by the ATM, whose suit makes him appear to be a security guard (which he isn’t btw). His clothing doesn’t quite fit, just a little too big. His shoes are not quite polished. He has a fairly bland look, with a balding head, pounding away at his Blackberry.

(As an exercise: you might look around you and just see how it is that you respond to people based on how they are dressed…interesting, eh?)

One certainly sees everything here in New York, soup to nuts. From clear, specific, interesting personal style, as I may have described with that young lady. Everything working together - her outfit was well put together, she looks smart and elegant. Also, it worked for her body, it worked for her image.

And then the blue-suited gentleman here who frankly just fades away. There’s nothing directly interesting about how he looks, therefore I won’t remember him in five minutes time.

So, what we at CEIC like to do, and in particular when I meet with guys, is I make an instant analysis of my first impression of them. And we dive into that A LOT - we’ll talk about fashion and style; we’ll talk about what their body language communicates about them; what it is that their “vibe” is. All of these things have an impact on how it is that I feel a guy should present himself.

So the first principle I want to outline to you here, is the difference between being Physically attractive and Genetically attractive. There is a difference, and in the dating game, it is a HUGE difference.

Typically, guys who struggle with women are not Physically attractive MEANING that the things that are well within their control:

- their fashion and style sense
- how it is they choose to live their life (their lifestyle, and how it is that that impacts their vibe)
- how it is that they might choose to wear their hair
- their shoes
- etc…

All the things that are within their control - things that you can do TODAY to deal with that – are not handled, or are handled VERY poorly.

Typically, these guys struggle with women…sound familiar?

(Herein lies the global issue of autonomy, which I’ve talked about before on this blog and in podcasts too…VERY important)

There’s a difference between being genetically attractive and physically attractive. Genetically attractive person might be Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise or George Clooney, or any of these celebrities that we typically think of when we think of good-looking handsome men.

You know, genetics is something that we can’t necessarily control, at all. I mean, in this day and age, typically here in New York City on the East Side, as I look around I see many people trying to control their genetics with various surgical applications… but we won’t get into that!

Now, being physically attractive is something well within your control.

You CAN look your best.

You CAN make a good first impression.

You CAN take time out of your life to focus on fashion and style, and your look, and cultivate an image that will maximize how it is that you appear to people.

Now, our work is HARDLY about looking good and feeling terrible. Our work at CEIC is primarily about looking good and feeling great, so that what it is and how you are in front of people - your first impression and your lasting impression ring true to a guy who’s autonomous, happy, and fulfilled.

If you want great relationships with quality women, what we feel is that you’ve got to get your life in order. And one thing you can do is think outside of this box and build a look that works for you.

So, if your image is that of an average guy, this encourages you to fade away, never standing out. Now I’m not talking about showing up to work in an outrageous costume every day! But what I am talking about is finding an image that works for you, and that helps you to be seen.

So ask yourself these three questions when you’re building your look and enhancing your image…ready?

No. 1: Does it help me feel more powerful and confident?

No. 2: Will it help me achieve the aims I strive for in life?

No. 3: Does it work for my body type and personality?

Take those three questions with you as you begin to cultivate and design for yourself an image. So you might consider a certain garment, jacket, pants…

Let’s use an obvious example - If you have an office type of job, and you want to dress better at the workplace, diving into the jeans rack at the Gap might not be a wise choice. What I would suggest, in that case, is going to a good men’s store, perhaps not something that’s overpriced - here in New York we have Zara, which is great for men, particularly of my size, who are fairly thin and tall - they have great pants there.

Every major city typically has exceptional stores for clothing, mid-range stores for clothing, and then the average stores for clothing. I would stay away from the average stores, and shoot for the middle rack. You know, you’re not going to go to Saks Fifth Avenue, here in New York, if you’re not loaded with green. But you might go to Macy’s, or Zara, or you might go to good, intelligent thrift stores like Housing Works, where they often have hand-me-down’s worn by people who have great taste in clothing.

I recently found a $40 pair of Boss slacks at a thrift store which fit me perfectly that are a huge steal. They would easily retail for four or five-hundred dollars!

So, you have to think outside the box.

Here’s a couple of websites: Bluefly.com and Yoox.com, where you can buy contemporary clothing that is suited, hopefully, to your body type and color scheme, which you have to consider.

Also, here’s an exercise, and I want you to ask yourself these questions - write them down. Reread this tonight or tomorrow if you need to, and then write down the answers. And from those answers begin to try to conceptualize for yourself a new look, or at least the next step in a new look.

You’re going to be asked here to become your own image consultant because you’re not here in front of me and I obviously can not work with you directly, but I can give you something to think about.

There are eight of them…here goes:

No. 1: Go to a mirror and notice your body language. And ask yourself what does it communicate? You might even involve a friend. It could be male or female - if it’s a guy that you like to go out with, fine; if you have a female friend, fine. Ask them to help you here, because you might not be the best judge.

No. 2: What body type are you? Thin, medium build, muscular, or are you overweight? Try to keep this answer simple.

No. 3: Thumb through a men’s magazine, and ask yourself which fashion ads grab your attention and why? What about the look of the men in the picture grabs your attention? This is important in order to see what stimulates your imagination. What it is that you might begin to feel great wearing?

No. 4: Imagine a scenario where you are successful in the workplace or in your career. And ask yourself what is it that you are wearing in that image? How is your posture, what is your vibe? Are you confident and assured? Are you meek and timid? Be honest with yourself and write this down.

No. 5: Imagine a scenario where you are going out on the town with the woman of your dreams. You’re arm in arm, headed to a concert perhaps, or a show. You are both very comfortable and happy with each other. What are you wearing, how is your posture, what is your vibe? Again, is it confident and assured, meek and timid? Something else/something in-between? Write it down.

No. 6: Use your imagination to determine what type of look you picture yourself in. Is it casual? Dressed up in suits? Is it preppy? Dressed down perhaps in the latest street-wear? Consider your day-to-day life, and what image you need to project to fulfill your aims. See yourself successfully achieving these goals and notice the look you embody. That one is HUGE. If you have any impressions or images of yourself as you read this, I would encourage you to examine those and look into them and see how far you can take that.

No. 7: Consider the roles that you play daily that impact your style. Are you an executive, student, a DJ? These are common sense. If you’re stuck, think of someone whose clothes you like, someone that you think dresses stylishly and conveys the right things with their look. At the same time look at yourself and be honest. Will this work for you?

You know, I personally love the way Mick Jagger dresses, but I can’t imagine myself wearing his clothing out in my daily life. That just wouldn’t be intelligent, so you’ve got to be smart here. That’s obviously an extreme example, but I think it communicates a point.

And then lastly…

No. 8: Who do you look like? Ask yourself; do you look like Mick Jagger? Do you look like Tom Cruise? Do you look like a friend of yours? Do you have a similar body type as he? Does your hair kind of mirror each other’s in some way? Take a look at that. Examine that. See what looks good on those body types, and then maybe adapt that to your own look.

A friend of mine was recently approached by someone who said that he looked like Pierce Brosnan. This guy kept getting people coming up to him saying ‘You look like Pierce Brosnan… You remind me of Pierce Brosnan’. So, what did he do? He looked at photographs of Pierce Brosnan, and didn’t exactly mirror his style necessarily, but did take on certain looks that he wore, even in Bond films, but certainly publicity photos of him coming in and out of theatres.

He took on some of his looks, which looked GREAT.

In the CEIC Natural Attraction Program, our audio product, we have probably five exercises like this. This is just one of the five where we go through a step by step process of you working with us in developing a look and a style that actually works for you, in your environment, for your vibe and for your body type.

We take you through precise steps that you can take which will lead you to a more empowering, attractive look.

Again, we can’t control genetics necessarily, but what we can control is how we appear physically to the world based on the choices that we make. And my goal working with you is to help you make choices that are empowering, and that lead you in the direction that you really want your life to go…

Does that interest you?

Everything can help us if we pay attention to it, and if we devote ourselves to being intelligent about it. The Natural Attraction product is designed to empower you in each and every area of your life.

Every disk and skill that we cover is about empowering you socially, physically, and internally. We cover every social skill known to man, while also coaching you to develop a lifestyle, and pursuing a life that brings you happiness in every area…and also most importantly, with women and dating.

So that you can find all at our website by clicking on this link:

Natural Attraction Audio Program

You’ll be hearing from me soon…

Your Friend,

Stephen Nash

So many words in our lexicon are tossed around with such a variety of meaning, that it’s a true wonder that we understand each other in this culture. This is PARTICULARLY true in the world of dating. One basic concept that you guys HAVE to grasp is the nature of ATTRACTION.

Attraction, in brief, is simply when someone feels a romantic impulse towards another. It is the first step in building a meaningful relationship.

What follows are chemistry, connection, compromise and commitment. Initially, if a woman is attracted to you and you to her, you have accomplished the simplest and most elusive building block in a relationship.

I have met many men over the years, and have studied the nature of what is attractive to women. Initially, each woman (and man) has a certain “type” that triggers the potential for attraction. This does not mean that if you don’t fit that type that you are out of luck. It does mean that your chances of engaging her in a flirtatious conversation increase.

As a man, it is very hard to know what type a particular woman is attracted to – and there is only one way to find out – initiate a conversation with her. The best way to increase your chances with women, is to increase the attractiveness of your world and the daily life you lead.

Women, intuitively, are looking for a man that fulfills her innate need for security. This is why insecure men have trouble attracting a mate. A secure man tends to embody a sense of humor, focus/determination (he lives with purpose), leadership, humility and vulnerability. Healthy, attractive women crave this combination.

These traits are challenging for many men, which is why I believe a guy who struggles with women is living out of balance with himself. His outlook is normally negative, and he seems to respond to life, rather than act or move towards it. Insecurity is a result of being prey to negative emotions, such as depression, anger, envy, greed, lust etc.

If a guy struggles with envy, he will find himself walking through the world comparing himself to everyone he meets, subtly fulfilling his internal prophecy of “I am not enough, look at that guy, he’s got it all…”

The essence to being an attractive man is being a positive man. If you are a guy who struggles with dating and relationships, you must ask yourself these essential questions:

• Do you see problems in front of you, or challenges?

• Are you willing to accept yourself as you are, for the moment, and take on the responsibility of creating a life that is truly your own?

• Are you focused on short-term survival, or long-term prosperity?

History proves that, biologically – and therefore, intuitively - women seek out men that give them a sense of security. In order for a man to provide this, he must be secure in himself. A secure man is an autonomous man…he is the elusive one within each of us who craves to call his life his own.

If you desire to persuade people into your life in order to build relationships, you will be far more compelling to others if what you are offering promises to be a positive experience for them.

This is a simple sales model – in order to sell a product, it needs to promise a positive experience for the consumer. If your world is filled with positive emotions (humor, happiness, passion, to name a few) you will magnetically bring like-minded people into your life.

For example, when you are talking to a woman on the phone, and she asks you “what’s up?” You might reply by painting an interesting and exciting view of the world in front of you – be original. Recently, I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine, and in the middle of the conversation, I described to her the very funny scene happening directly in front of me – which was of two kids playing with a puppy.

It was a very humorous way to involve her into my world, one that helped her understand that I see the world as a lively and fun place, and that I am not afraid to share that with her – doing things like this says so much about you as a man, but do you take the time to consider it?

Another great way to reflect a powerful image into the world is in how you dress. Look at your wardrobe. Are you up on the latest fashion? Is your look something you are proud of, that you enjoy? Does your look work for your career path?

If not, you might want to consider at least enhancing your wardrobe a bit with some of the basics or by buying a very nice pair of shoes for example. Or, seek out some help in defining a look which works with both your personality and lifestyle, and then find a way to incorporate that – hire an image consultant, get your stylish sister to go shopping with you, buy men’s magazines for ideas…the possibilities are endless here guys.

Just remember, the most critical aspect in considering how you dress is to reflect your personality in a powerful way, that also works for the environment or scene that you are in. Might not be best to wear a really cool t-shirt to your corporate job, for example.

If you can be someone who sees the world in a positive light, you will naturally bring people closer to you. Men who are successful with women are those who are autonomous and embody a spirit of security by having a full, meaningful and positive lifestyle. In short, they are happy.

I have had the privilege of working with men all around the world in assisting them in meeting women, and in building an attractive and fulfilling lifestyle.

I’ve consolidated all of this wisdom in my ebook, How To Get A Girlfriend. In it, I tie in the meaning of “attraction” with “security”, “autonomy”, social skills, fashion/style etc. Seriously, it is the most complete dating book on the market…and you can check it out on a 30-day trial FREE of charge…read more about it here:

http://www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com/ebook

Stephen Nash.

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