This is a how to get a girl friend mailbag question…(yes, I do respond to emails - so, feel free to send man!)

Finding the right kind of women “for me” is everyone’s challenge. I have found though that there are very solid techniques to apply to my lifestyle which can help this dilemma. My friend JP illustrated his particular situation very nicely. Let’s hear from him.

“Hello Stephen,

JP”

Anyone relate to this? I sure do. When I was living in LA, during the Project Hollywood experiment, we were surrounded by some of the hottest, swankiest bars/clubs in the world – yet, very often, the women there could barely hold a conversation about the weather…it got boring, FAST.

When I came back to New York, I made it a point to place myself in environments where the women I was interested would frequent. I am certainly not Einstein, but I am no dummy either. I was really looking to be around intelligent, artsy, witty, pretty, stylish and strong women. I was also hoping to meet women that shared interests in the same activities and had some cultural sophistication.

A slight digression…here’s a rule of thumb from the FRONT lines…the higher the cover charge – be it a club/lounge/bar - the dumber the women (AND men) in the venue…just a tidbit, for your information…

So, the first thing I had to do was to start DOING things that I wanted to do – and not from the point of view of meeting women. I had to start really engaging my interests, and trying them on in the real world. It was important that I stop focusing too much on meeting Ms. Right, and instead focus on becoming Mr. Right. To meet the right kind of women for me, I had to start really living in the world, doing the things that I wanted to do – then, I had to start meeting the people there doing those things too.

In New York, there are plenty of cultural institutions, stores, classes and events, where there are interesting, sophisticated, attractive women. But, in order to find the ones right for me, I had to venture out and explore the ones that I wanted to.

I found galleries a great place to begin. I also found that by getting involved in various groups/clubs in New York (NOT PUA LAIRS), I met similar people. I took classes, I learned a lot – I GOT INVOLVED.

Once I got really involved, I then became a leader within that environment. This is very important. The more in the center of the event/class/venue you are, the more apt you are to become known and respected within that community.

That’s an important word – ‘community’. Men who have challenges meeting women of the right ilk are themselves not surrounded by a community truly reflective of themselves…they are not engaged in a balanced way in the world.

Once you find yourself in, or creating, a community – begin to lead the group by doing things you want to do. Organize friends for a party, a trip, or an outing, explore new restaurants/galleries/shows etc. Tell them that they can bring friends along if they like – then fold their friends into the social circle.

This takes time, but it greatly enhances the likelihood of meeting someone with whom you share commonalities AND it is very easy to meet women through your circle of friends – no pick-up lines needed, just an introduction from a friend. When people meet others through a circle of friends, they are more relaxed and open anyway – increasing the likelihood of actually meeting the real girl, instead of the ‘bar chick’ personality, filled with moves of defense, and masks of cool.

I had a client recently who wanted to meet more women, while he also wanted to learn to drive a Formula 1 vehicle. Wild eh? He knew of a place where he could actually get behind the wheel of such a car, and I challenged him to make a down payment on the school within 30 days. He did so, and had a blast learning to drive these cars. One day, while having lunch at the school, a guy he was in class with and his sister came in and joined him. She was there to watch, and my guy was friends with her brother already. They sat down, his friend introduced them to each other, my guy used a bit of flirting, baiting and storytelling…voila…date, date, date, date….long-term relationship.

I really think that’s how it works guys. Most women have a paradigm for “how they want to meet a guy” – and it is RARELY that she wants to meet him in a bar. Women who are intelligent and cool don’t want to tell their mothers that they met their current boyfriend at Deep or Ceilo (lame, loud clubs in NYC)…I assure you.

SN.

Then listen to my interview with Barry Kirkey last night…enuff said:

http://www.revolution31.com/blog/

Over.

S.

Hey man -

One thing you might not know about Barry Kirkey, is that he’s VERY prompt. Every Sunday night, I receive his next submission to the blog. Dude is on-time.

Also, I’ll be appearing on his show this Thursday, so be sure to listen in. Who the %$&# knows what we’re going to talk about.

Here’s this week lesson - all about using characters.

*************

There are a lot of social barriers and taboos that prevent people from doing the jokes they truly think are funny. Some jokes need to be taken to the next level of “extreme” in order to really work. Well thankfully you’re reading this article because I might have a way around it for you. Characters!

Using impressions or made up characters to tell a joke allows you to say and do things you would otherwise not be able to.

If you know friend who’s racist, you could turn him into a character by doing an impression of him. While you’re doing that impression, throw in some jokes that you wouldn’t want to say yourself. This works to benefit you in two ways: One, people know you’re actually making fun of someone who’s racist, and two, they actually view you as not racist because you’re actually goofing on racism. This does not apply to stupid humans, however.

You can even exaggerate yourself, and pretend you’re doing extreme things that you wouldn’t normally do. This is often done through prank calls or honking at random pedestrians and wave to them (pretend you know them) and bask in their confused faces.

Years ago, my friends (Stefan and the Gregs) and myself joined a ball hockey league with a some other people we “sort-of” knew. One of them, named Jeff, we quickly determined was one of the biggest douche-bags you could imagine. So after one game, the four of us hung out and bitched about how we hated Jeff. It escalated to the point where we almost pretended to be the goons from the movie “casino” pretending to beat on him with hockey sticks or whatever large objects we could find. When you’re doing this, you can have a little fun by pretending to be both the victim (Jeff) and yourself.

Personally, like to pretend I’m one of those Anime characters with speed lines in the background. The speed lines indicate I’m moving downward from the sky with a giant hockey stick ready to use all my weight and some extra gravity to destroy him into the ground.

Lastly, a good way of goofing using characters is to use the “who would win in a fight” scenario. Pick two people you want to goof on and describe how they would fight. I personally like to pick Jesus vs… well Jesus vs. anything. But in my head, Jesus is 8 feet tall, is a monster, has magic powers and ultra super strength. I like to pin him against, let’s say 20, ninjas.

Now that I think of it, this example is important, because it gives you the opportunity to passively goof on Christianity as a religion. We all know religion (also known as magical fairy tales) is one of the most fun topics to make fun of.

Anyways, be creative on what kinds of powers Jesus has. Maybe red lightning laser-bolts shoot from his eyes, or maybe his feet can turn into tree roots, dig into the ground and emerge from the ground at his victim’s feet to take him down.

If you want a more toned down “character” example you can use with girls…

Let’s say you’re at a restaurant or café of some sort. You notice a cheesy song starts playing in the background that has both a male and a female singer. You could pretend the salt shaker is the female singer and the pepper shaker is the male singer and have them sing their parts. At the end, smash them together as if they were making out or having sexual intercourse, and pour some of the pepper grains into the salt shaker holes to mimic the sperm going into the vagina. Although it might sound vulgar when I’m writing this out, if you do this right, you could get her laughing all the way downtown James Brown. What does that mean?

Yes.

************

Oh, and did you see my note about the movie “Vicky Christina Barcelona”? Dude, it’s a must see. More on that in a day or so though. I want to write a fuller post about that movie before Labor Day.

Check out Barry’s blog (and his awesome radio show…) at:

http://www.revolution31.com/blog/

Later,

Sn.

I’ve seen the good PUAs in the field. I know what a good pick-up looks like. And, I know that most guys cannot do it.

There is a difference between meeting girls, and being a Pick-Up Artist. Most of you know how to meet girls, but you don’t “get” the art of attracting them.

Listen, anyone can learn to approach a girl - and, frankly, you SHOULD learn that. There is countless technology out there designed to help you do JUST THAT (my Natural Art of the Pick-Up being only one). I have witnessed MANY workshops with guys who coach others on the pick-up arts, and only a few can coach them on the true ART of this.

Most of what is happening is teachers showing guys how to APPROACH women. This is fine, but they cannot be called pick-up artists nor do they enjoy the level of success, power and choice reserved for the few who “get” the art involved.

So, what the hell is the art then?

Simple - the ability to attract a woman to you when she isn’t initially attracted to you. This is when you open the conversation (engage, as I say) and she is any form of the following:

dismissive
gruff
distant
“courteous”
irritated
etc

If you’ve ever wondered why the “best” PU coaches out there are also good-looking it’s because most of them cannot do this. They truly thrive on looks alone, merely steering the conversation towards escalation, never creating and building attraction and interest because it was already there.

So, the “art” of the pick-up lies in the attraction of the woman. This is highly necessary when she resists you from the outset. Then, and only then, do you need the skills of an artist.

Now, there is a huge difference between a “shit-test” and downright disinterest. A “shit-test” is an IOI, as you have flipped a number of switches, but given her nature, personality and background, she decides to test if you are truly worthy of her interest. Clearly, this is a GOOD thing.

The ability to pass shit-tests is fairly basic in my book, and should be done 80% of the time minimum, as she is already interested in you - she simply demonstrates that in a high-value way, to see what you are made of.

The true “art” comes into play when she turns her back to you, blows you off, courteously listens to you and then dismisses you (my favorite), and otherwise demonstrates TRUE disinterest in you. SHE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU (in other words…sorry for yelling).

This is when the “art” is necessary. What do you do then? You got involved in “this stuff” to get the best women didn’t you? You saw her and approached you and now she shows you she is not interested. What then? Do you just walk away, having given up? Or, do you use actual skill to attract her into your world.

I viewed a video recently of Cajun TenMagnet…seems like a cool enough guy. This is not intended as a flame of him by any means, just citing a good example. On YouTube there is a video of when he wins the Keys to the VIP show (you can find it easily enough). He runs a set with a girl which follows the average form I indicate here. She was initially interested in him, and he simply, skillfully steered the conversation towards a #close. It was well done, and he managed the #close resistance at the end very well.

BUT, this was not art. No. (I have a hunch that he CAN turn a conversation towards attraction, but it wasn’t necessary here). What you see in that video though is what USUALLY happens. The guy had the balls to approach (kudos certainly), she was attracted to him initially, he steers it skillfully (aka, without supplication) towards a close of some sort. Often, this is what happens, and Cajun here does a fine job of it. Bravo to him for even being on that show…that gets him the steel balls award of the year in my book.

A man who can do this is a true artist. Otherwise, like most, he is able to approach, and then just takes those women who are open to his approach and find him initially attractive. An artist he is not. This Is The Norm.

Now, the nice thing about Project Hollywood (one of the few) was that the wheat was separated from the chaff. There was a group of us there who were good, and who could assess the abilities of the others. We all knew who was an artist, and who was an approacher - and there were very few artists. We were vetted by each other, and we were helped by each other to raise our abilities. There was no hiding behind a chat board, website, or even a blog. We could watch each other, and could witness first-hand the artists vs the approachers.

Nowadays, that isn’t possible - which is precisely why we have so many companies out there coaching guys…and very few social artists. I do believe coaching guys on approaching women is a GREAT skill to focus on, and is probably as far as most students will get anyway - as the ability to pass thru the threshold into mastering the “art” takes tremendous, tremendous effort.

Thoughts? Comments? Flames?

Let em rip.

Sn.
Follow Me On Twitter: StephenNash
Or, just add me on Facebook

Hey -

Have you been listening to Barry’s show man? It’s a total riot. I loved Cameron’s sessions, and just had to stop listening to today’s program with Savoy (who I thought was a bit dry and aloof, but still pretty damn good).

(that’s us on our way to Dodger Stadium…do we look like baseball fans??)

So, I am going to be on his show next week - we record it Wednesday (8/27), so I guess it will air on Thursday (8/28), but I am guessing that it will be a lot of RSD/Project Hollywood bashing plus other loud opinions about “the scene”. When I chat with Barry, it’s a load of shit-talking usually, so don’t tune in if you’re looking for the latest, greatest tactic or gimmick. I had a helluva time keeping him focused on the podcast I did with him a few months back.

As you’ll see, he isn’t exactly the most focused guy in the world, but he’s damn funny and honest. Sorta like Howard Stern…in fact, not sorta, but VERY much like Howard Stern.

Love him or hate him, it seems he’s here to stay…

Sn.

This should be interesting…and if you’ve listened yet to Barry’s radio show, he gives you plenty of examples of how to do this.

*************

The Rip

To become competent at ripping on people, it takes years of learning and practice. It can be so complicated that there’s no precise way to do it all the time. The right kind of ripping depends on the targeted person, their relationship with you, how sensitive the person is, their gender or race, etc. Almost everything you know about the person you’re ripping on needs to be considered.

Secondly, the most effective rips will happen when you are in a particular emotional state. Sometimes, being angry makes them more effective, while other times, being calm and thoughtful works better. Being able to identify these particular situations is what makes you more effective on getting the message across.

Let me start with identifying your target, and their respective characteristics.

First the closer someone is to you (as a friend), the more leeway you should have to get right in and throw some nasty insults. Try to build a relationship with them so that they don’t take anything you say seriously. Eventually, you’ll get to a point where you can pretty much say whatever you want, and know that it’s not going to hurt their feelings.

A good example, organized roasts. A roast is when someone is ripped on by various individuals (usually friends or family) they know well. It’s often done in a friendly way, but there are situations where it can get hard core.

Before my friend Greg was married, the three of us (the other Greg, Stefan and myself) recorded a CD with the three of us roasting him. Because we were such close friends for such a long time (over 10 years), we were able to pretty much use any card we wanted – we insulted his new wife, his family, his race, his physical attributes – nothing was off limits. Not only did we roast him but we roasted each other in the same manner. This was also one of those situations where we couldn’t get emotional when we were writing them, or else they would not have been as effective.

So the point is, the closer someone is to you, the more freedom you *should* have. If you don’t have this kind of relationship with someone as a friend, then you may need to re-evaluate the level of your friendship with that person (excluding young relationships). If you’re not sure about it – just bring it out in the open and ASK them if it’s ok to rip on them in fun. Disclaimers are amazingly effective and they can save you a whole lot of unnecessary trouble and drama. Use them whenever possible and as often as you can if you truly want to be good at ripping on someone.

Note:
Remember, when discussing the disclaimer with someone, try to bring up whether they’re ok with you ripping on them in front of other people. Just because they’re ok with you making fun of them, doesn’t mean they want you to do it in front of other people who aren’t used to that kind of humor. If you’re not careful, you could quickly land yourself into the problem of disrespecting those you care about.

Ripping on a stranger is altogether different than ripping on friends or family. While they can often be easy targets, you don’t want to land yourself into a punch fight or, worse yet, some kind of legal trouble.

Always think twice about ripping on someone you don’t know, especially if you get personal. And don’t this when you’re angry. I’m not here to be your anger management coach, nor am I an expert in this field. So, if you have an issue where you can’t control your tongue, then it’s time to get professional help, like Paxil, because there’s something wrong with you that reading dumb articles about comedy won’t cure.

With all that being said, only rip on strangers if you’re confident you won’t land in any trouble.

The third type of ripping is sort of in between a stranger and a friend. Someone you know but don’t know that well. These situations don’t have definite rules to them, as you might have guessed. You need to gage each case differently and use caution where it’s needed, but not always.

Try to use personal things about the person without getting too deep, and at the same time, try to identify the times where you need to get angry or emotional. Usually a “rebuttal” is the best time to put some feeling into it. If someone disrespects you or says something offensive, that’s a good justification to add some of that anger-spice into your words. I call this “Destroying the Fuck-Face.”

Destroying the Fuck-Face ripping happens when someone says something bad about you (or your work), which gives you justification to take down all of your restraints against that person and verbally annihilate them. Destroying the Fuck-Face ripping can be the most fun because it usually involves a lot of emotion.

I recently did an interview with Sean Stevenson who was quoted on National T.V. saying “I live the life of a rock-star!” Now to me this was funny, because I’ve known Sean for a while and it annoyed me. So I created an audio file of a clip of him saying just that and ripped on it any chance I got.

Now, you need to understand that when people say these types of things, it’s like magical unicorn dropped off a bag of golden coins with diamonds in encrusted on them on my doorstep. It opens the floodgates for goofing.

If you want to be good at ripping people, be prepared for people to laugh, but also be prepared to sacrifice your reputation with some people and make some enemies. Nothing in life is free Jorgey Garcia.

“Now we know!”

“And knowing is half the battle Jorgey. Now get into my white, dank, window-less van filled with candy.”

- Good Day.

********************

Again, check out Barry’s radio show for live, constant examples of this…here:

http://www.revolution31.com/blog/

More from me in the next day or so.

Sn

PRESENTING: The Pick-Up Newbie Manifesto!

Are you new to all this? Fresh off the AFC-boat?

Well, I got some good news and some bad news.

First the BAD news…

It’s easy to get swept away with marketing, forums, blogs, posts, profiles, threads, comments and hype. It’s common to bounce around from forum, to blog, to site seeking some answers only to leave them all more confused than when you started. All of this eventually renders you clueless and PARALYZED. The key to this, like anything, is ACTION.

Be bad, for now…love it, embrace it, go with it. Yes, SUCK with women. BUT, start learning ways to be good and be patient with yourself (THE key). There is no magic bullet my man, and if there was someone would have found it and be selling it by now. But, beware of the HYPE that exists. You are entering a market of activity, with people competing for your attention and your dollar.

In other words, there is a LOT of information out there appealing to the “new guy”. There are a lot of gurus, and there are a lot of non-gurus…

Now, it’s only normal (these days) to go to the internet looking for answers. I did it, and found a great deal of help and success down the line. I mean, look at me now - I’ve got a great life, life with my girlfriend, work from home…I have the love of my life here, so I sure can’t complain about what the community has given me. BUT, I can sympathize with new guys who might be (who should be) confused about where to go for help out there in this crazy “pick-up” community.

The good news? It comes in 7 parts (kind of like a scale, or a spectrum…get my drift?):

First - read Neil’s book “The Game“. From there, you will see who was at Project Hollywood and who wasn’t. Now, there are many guys who weren’t at ProHo who are good guys and have something to offer. BUT, you can be damn sure that the guys who were there aren’t hiding behind an internet profile and are the real deal when it comes to “pick-up”. We were vetted, so to speak, by simply being there in the extraordinary think-tank that it was. We all learned from each other, and are all VERY good at meeting and attracting women.

Second - avoid reading tons of blogs and newsletters that exist. Pick a few and go with them. I still think asf is a good site to use as a forum (though I’ll be launching one soon…which will rival any and all) and think that a few others should be your limit (Thundercat’s site is fun, and useful, for example). Every guru has a newsletter series, and I suggest signing-up for 3 of them:

Mine (Of course right, but it provides a simple, healthy, balanced view of pick-up & the game)
Mystery OR Style’s (for the extremes…some of which might click with you) &
One other

Now, a word about David D. Listen, I love the guy and found his work a few years ago to be pretty helpful. It was a privilege appearing on his interview series, and speaking at his various seminars. But, once I got past the very very basic stage, his “stuff” wasn’t a real help to me. You see, the guy isn’t really a PUA. Now, he has found a few gimmicks which are tremendously helpful in getting guys MOVING. But, as for anything more intermediate, and advanced…he’s not your guy. Should you read his ebook and sign-up for his eletter? Sure, as there are some really killer tips in there. Most guys though need more…they need a philosophy, and they need real training wheels which will get them active and engaged in REAL interactions with women.

Only register for podcasts of those gurus whose newsletters you receive. There are many ways up the mountain, but it’s far better to narrow the volume of info you receive to a FEW. To expose yourself to too much is overkill and will (again) paralyze you.

Third - post an internet profile. Use Match, Nerve, eharmony, singles.net…whichever. You’re not looking to meet Ms. Right - though if you do, don’t kick her to the curb…PLEASE. The idea with internet dating is to PRACTICE and get your body used to being in front of real women. Many guys haven’t been with a woman for a meaningful amount of time for a while. At the least, you spend some time with a woman, and start to have real experiences with real women. Good stuff. And, if you take advantage of tip #5, you will be able to start practicing real-live social skills with real-live women. That’s a GOOD thing man. And, it’s the only way to success. If you’re bad for a while, don’t sweat it - we all were, and it’s a rites of passage.

(Someday ask me about the girl who literally got up from the table at Cafe Mogador here and walked out of the restaurant after I C&F’d her for the ump-teenth time - dude, it sucked, but I learned a TON from it)

Fourth - approach 3 women per day. Watch this video if you are clueless how to do it. Here, I demonstrate the “Jealous Girlfriend” opener. It’s one of many that work VERY regularly and will work for you:

Again, be willing to SUCK…and soon, you will be good. All of us had to be bad for awhile before we were good. It’s just a fact and it does no one a bit of good to sugar coat that my man.

Fifth - BUY A PROGRAM and use it (and only it) for 6 months. Most guys offer a comprehensive audio or DVD program which will teach you everything you need to know about being good at meeting and attracting women. I don’t care whose you use…well, that’s actually a lie, as I do suggest you use mine, The Natural Art of the Pick-Up.

Pick one program and go with it. Use it, wear it out, try everything in it. Listen to it 5 times, read it 5 times, and do everything it asks you to do. There are a ton of programs/products out there my friend. MOST of them will help you A LOT. The problem most guys have though is that they expect it to be a “quick fix” and an “easy solution” to the problem. Once they begin to be asked to lean into their comfort zones, they start looking for an easier, softer way.

There is no easier, softer way. And, regardless of who is marketing to you, their program will NOT BE EASIER! You will have to work thru your challenges, and most of the guru’s out there can help you do just that. BUT, you have to stick with them and not distract yourself with the massive volumes of information that exist out there.

That becomes a hindrance and a distraction. Things you DON’T NEED.

Sixth, if you need it…do a bootcamp. Save your seminar and workshop money, and find someone you really trust, with great reviews, and who really walks the walk. Register for his bootcamp and dive in WHOLE HOG. If they don’t deliver, get your money back - there are charlatans out there…and you shouldn’t be the victim of their marketing.

BUT, only do a bootcamp if the take-home program you choose doesn’t get you over the hump. If it’s a good one (like mine) it will do so, and it will offer ongoing support to work you through your nuanced issues.

LAST, Lucky #7, get a wingman. A partner in crime is essential. My guy was a super-cool dude from Israel Michel. We went out 3-4 nights per week, and practiced, had tons of fun, and formed a killer friendship. We have STORIES man! We helped each other, encouraged each other, and had each other’s back when the shit went down (and it did a few times…).

A good wing is critical. There will be nights when you don’t feel it, don’t want to go out, when you get blown-out 10 times in a row, when you want to just get drunk at the bar. A few nights of these in a row, and you’ll give up. This is when you need your wing to pick you up.

Find a guy in your local lair, or on meet-up, or on PAIR (asf’s wingman meetup system), or just recruit a buddy from the hood. Just find a dude that you LIKE and who is at your skill level. Michel and I met on an online forum (similar to asf) and realized we both dug Kung-Fu. We started hanging out, and picking-up girls as we did stuff around NYC. He’s an awesome guy, and he helped me tremendously.

If you do these 7 things, you will find success bro.

Your list of 5 enemies are:

- Impatience

- Frustration

- “Fuck-it” (you give up)

- TMI (too much information, see above) &

- Paralysis (as opposed to action - action being the only way out of your situation)

Time to stop reading, and get moving.

Stephen Nash
(Playboy)

Hey man -

I am loving this twitter thing…loads of fun (check me out, my profile name is StephenNash).

Anyway, had a killer trip to Ocean City, NJ and enjoyed the boards and did some fishing (caught 7, threw em all back).

I am also excited to report that I will be featured on Barry Kirkey’s radio show on August 27th. Have you heard any of his calls so far? Dude - they are outrageous. I’ll post “where to go” at the bottom of this article from Barry…all about using humor as a means of breaking the ice.

Enjoy!

**************************

A good sense of humor and a good sense of what makes a given situation awkward is a good combination for making it less awkward. In fact, you could make it fun and relaxing.

What am I talking about? Well for the most part, a first date is a good thing to look at, since most of us will end up in that situation one way or another.

First dates usually begin with small talk and lame questions like “what do you like to do for fun?” Ugh! Can you get any more boring? Try to take questions like this and turn the answers into something funny. I’m not saying you should lie about it, but make the answers loosely based on the truth.

For myself, I would thank them for their ice-breaking question. My answer would somehow include circus monkeys, 8 midgets, spider man and corn flakes with blueberries. Take those 4 items and develop a convoluted story, the field is open. Just try to make it a little bit interesting.

Because you’re on a first date, you want to avoid most of the weirdness that you might normally like to do. Some women (understandably) may have a hard time differentiating between being funny or a genuinely fucked up person. But seriously, who cares, that’s their problem.

First dates are also a good place to go back to the same joke over and over, or “call back” a joke that worked really well the first time. For example, if your date is very short, make a funny comment about height early on, something like:

“Wow, you’re shorter than I thought. Have you thought about stilt implants?”

Then later when you’re both looking through the menu, you could ask her what it says under the “midget” section of the menu. Then expand on that and ask her if she’s getting the midget chicken fingers.

I got this one from my friend Stefan, it ended up working out for him because her comeback was about how big his head was (literally), which she “called back” several times throughout the night. So they both had a similar style of joking (early on at least, I won’t go into how this eventually ended, you know women).

But always remember, this only works if she isn’t getting offended by what you’re saying. If she does get offended, you might want to evaluate the potential success of this date early on – maybe she’s too serious for you (I call them extremely boring prudes).

Actually, I’m going to expand on this a bit more, because I hear too many horror stories of guys who continue with the joking even though the girl is clearly not digging it. Seriously, just stop or get out of the situation, or avoid the humor card altogether.

How do you know? The first simple sign is this: She doesn’t laugh. Other signs might be the awkward smile and the “oookay” (I really hate this reaction, to me it’s condescending and time to leave immediately). Sometimes you get fake laughter, which is something to look out for, pay close attention to her eyes when she laughs because sometimes they don’t fit properly with the smile.

Well this is just a small tip for you first-daters out there. This isn’t going to work for you on your first try, but then again you shouldn’t have been dumb enough to expect results immediately. Everything takes practice.

*********************

Thanks Barry. Love the callback humor theme, as that is a killer skill to have. It also works really well when calling girls on the phone. Use a bit of callback humor from when you first met to remind her how cool and funny you are.

So, here’s the address for Barry’s radio show:

http://www.revolution31.com/blog/

Check it out man!

I’ll be back Wednesday with a blog update.

Later,

Stephen

Hey man -

If you want a little fun this weekend, take the How To Get A Girlfriend Dating Quiz (totally free btw):

http://www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com/blog/dating-quiz/

Mike (Sickboy) and I created this a while back, and I’ve just re-discovered it and re-attached it here. It’s a helluva lot of fun & useful man…so, definitely check it out! (We’ve tried to make it so that you actually LEARN something from it)

Also, I’m on Twitter now - my profile? StephenNash - so feel free to link to me there (or whatever the heck it’s called!)

Follow along as I drive down to the Jersey Shore tonight, spend the weekend with my girlfriend’s folks, and then, on Sunday, drive back to NYC!

Otherwise, have an awesome fun-filled weekend…

Sn.

Hey man -

Ever have a one-night-stand? Don’t worry, your mom and your sister aren’t watching. I think you should have one, before it’s all over and done with man. There’s nothing quite like going out one night, meeting a woman, attracting her, connecting with her, and then…seducing her.

It’s fun, both for you AND for her. Don’t believe me? Well, then I doubt you’ve had one!

This happened somewhat regularly at Project Hollywood. I have also been able to pull-off the ONS before and after “The Game”…here’s a bit of my research for you.

There is a structure to the ONS, that if you can follow it, you will have your shot. The following is the section on this structure from my recent ebook release, “The Natural Art of the Pick-Up“.

The Structure of a One-Night-Stand (ONS)

As you can see, you never want to DIRECTLY venue change. It always needs to be for a reason OTHER than “let’s have sex”. At this point, she’s back at your place, she’s met the dog. Maybe you show her a picture album, or a cool movie you made on your computer. You’re sitting on the couch; you kiss her again and escalate matters from there….

Remember - if at any point, she says NO, then you back-off. This is to be used only in times when you both mutually agree that this is what you want, OK? Also,

That’s a very basic outline for an ONS, one that’s worked for me MANY times. I continue to discuss ways of escalation, and how to do so, again SMOOTHLY (as that is the true mark of the “natural”) as that selection continues.

Want to read more?

Go here now:

The Natural Art of the Pick-Up

Copyright © How To Get A Girlfriend

Online Dating Advice For Men

How To Quit Your Day Job

How To Get Girls

« Previous entries