PRESENTING: The Pick-Up Newbie Manifesto!

Are you new to all this? Fresh off the AFC-boat?

Well, I got some good news and some bad news.

First the BAD news…

It’s easy to get swept away with marketing, forums, blogs, posts, profiles, threads, comments and hype. It’s common to bounce around from forum, to blog, to site seeking some answers only to leave them all more confused than when you started. All of this eventually renders you clueless and PARALYZED. The key to this, like anything, is ACTION.

Be bad, for now…love it, embrace it, go with it. Yes, SUCK with women. BUT, start learning ways to be good and be patient with yourself (THE key). There is no magic bullet my man, and if there was someone would have found it and be selling it by now. But, beware of the HYPE that exists. You are entering a market of activity, with people competing for your attention and your dollar.

In other words, there is a LOT of information out there appealing to the “new guy”. There are a lot of gurus, and there are a lot of non-gurus…

Now, it’s only normal (these days) to go to the internet looking for answers. I did it, and found a great deal of help and success down the line. I mean, look at me now - I’ve got a great life, life with my girlfriend, work from home…I have the love of my life here, so I sure can’t complain about what the community has given me. BUT, I can sympathize with new guys who might be (who should be) confused about where to go for help out there in this crazy “pick-up” community.

The good news? It comes in 7 parts (kind of like a scale, or a spectrum…get my drift?):

First - read Neil’s book “The Game“. From there, you will see who was at Project Hollywood and who wasn’t. Now, there are many guys who weren’t at ProHo who are good guys and have something to offer. BUT, you can be damn sure that the guys who were there aren’t hiding behind an internet profile and are the real deal when it comes to “pick-up”. We were vetted, so to speak, by simply being there in the extraordinary think-tank that it was. We all learned from each other, and are all VERY good at meeting and attracting women.

Second - avoid reading tons of blogs and newsletters that exist. Pick a few and go with them. I still think asf is a good site to use as a forum (though I’ll be launching one soon…which will rival any and all) and think that a few others should be your limit (Thundercat’s site is fun, and useful, for example). Every guru has a newsletter series, and I suggest signing-up for 3 of them:

Mine (Of course right, but it provides a simple, healthy, balanced view of pick-up & the game)
Mystery OR Style’s (for the extremes…some of which might click with you) &
One other

Now, a word about David D. Listen, I love the guy and found his work a few years ago to be pretty helpful. It was a privilege appearing on his interview series, and speaking at his various seminars. But, once I got past the very very basic stage, his “stuff” wasn’t a real help to me. You see, the guy isn’t really a PUA. Now, he has found a few gimmicks which are tremendously helpful in getting guys MOVING. But, as for anything more intermediate, and advanced…he’s not your guy. Should you read his ebook and sign-up for his eletter? Sure, as there are some really killer tips in there. Most guys though need more…they need a philosophy, and they need real training wheels which will get them active and engaged in REAL interactions with women.

Only register for podcasts of those gurus whose newsletters you receive. There are many ways up the mountain, but it’s far better to narrow the volume of info you receive to a FEW. To expose yourself to too much is overkill and will (again) paralyze you.

Third - post an internet profile. Use Match, Nerve, eharmony, singles.net…whichever. You’re not looking to meet Ms. Right - though if you do, don’t kick her to the curb…PLEASE. The idea with internet dating is to PRACTICE and get your body used to being in front of real women. Many guys haven’t been with a woman for a meaningful amount of time for a while. At the least, you spend some time with a woman, and start to have real experiences with real women. Good stuff. And, if you take advantage of tip #5, you will be able to start practicing real-live social skills with real-live women. That’s a GOOD thing man. And, it’s the only way to success. If you’re bad for a while, don’t sweat it - we all were, and it’s a rites of passage.

(Someday ask me about the girl who literally got up from the table at Cafe Mogador here and walked out of the restaurant after I C&F’d her for the ump-teenth time - dude, it sucked, but I learned a TON from it)

Fourth - approach 3 women per day. Watch this video if you are clueless how to do it. Here, I demonstrate the “Jealous Girlfriend” opener. It’s one of many that work VERY regularly and will work for you:

Again, be willing to SUCK…and soon, you will be good. All of us had to be bad for awhile before we were good. It’s just a fact and it does no one a bit of good to sugar coat that my man.

Fifth - BUY A PROGRAM and use it (and only it) for 6 months. Most guys offer a comprehensive audio or DVD program which will teach you everything you need to know about being good at meeting and attracting women. I don’t care whose you use…well, that’s actually a lie, as I do suggest you use mine, The Natural Art of the Pick-Up.

Pick one program and go with it. Use it, wear it out, try everything in it. Listen to it 5 times, read it 5 times, and do everything it asks you to do. There are a ton of programs/products out there my friend. MOST of them will help you A LOT. The problem most guys have though is that they expect it to be a “quick fix” and an “easy solution” to the problem. Once they begin to be asked to lean into their comfort zones, they start looking for an easier, softer way.

There is no easier, softer way. And, regardless of who is marketing to you, their program will NOT BE EASIER! You will have to work thru your challenges, and most of the guru’s out there can help you do just that. BUT, you have to stick with them and not distract yourself with the massive volumes of information that exist out there.

That becomes a hindrance and a distraction. Things you DON’T NEED.

Sixth, if you need it…do a bootcamp. Save your seminar and workshop money, and find someone you really trust, with great reviews, and who really walks the walk. Register for his bootcamp and dive in WHOLE HOG. If they don’t deliver, get your money back - there are charlatans out there…and you shouldn’t be the victim of their marketing.

BUT, only do a bootcamp if the take-home program you choose doesn’t get you over the hump. If it’s a good one (like mine) it will do so, and it will offer ongoing support to work you through your nuanced issues.

LAST, Lucky #7, get a wingman. A partner in crime is essential. My guy was a super-cool dude from Israel Michel. We went out 3-4 nights per week, and practiced, had tons of fun, and formed a killer friendship. We have STORIES man! We helped each other, encouraged each other, and had each other’s back when the shit went down (and it did a few times…).

A good wing is critical. There will be nights when you don’t feel it, don’t want to go out, when you get blown-out 10 times in a row, when you want to just get drunk at the bar. A few nights of these in a row, and you’ll give up. This is when you need your wing to pick you up.

Find a guy in your local lair, or on meet-up, or on PAIR (asf’s wingman meetup system), or just recruit a buddy from the hood. Just find a dude that you LIKE and who is at your skill level. Michel and I met on an online forum (similar to asf) and realized we both dug Kung-Fu. We started hanging out, and picking-up girls as we did stuff around NYC. He’s an awesome guy, and he helped me tremendously.

If you do these 7 things, you will find success bro.

Your list of 5 enemies are:

- Impatience

- Frustration

- “Fuck-it” (you give up)

- TMI (too much information, see above) &

- Paralysis (as opposed to action - action being the only way out of your situation)

Time to stop reading, and get moving.

Stephen Nash
(Playboy)

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