Hey there -

Wanted to get you guys thinking about meeting women in a new way today. Social skills, and active social approaches are all good. But, the passive work of building a personal style…and more importantly…a confident, social VIBE is much more important.

A balanced, holistic approach to meeting and dating was the precise reason that I wrote, rewrote and rewrote again my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend”.

What I am talking about here all leads to a more empowering, more attractive first impression.

I was recently out with some female friends of mine here in New York City. We were mostly talking about dating and socializing (for some reason, conversations seem to end up on that topic when I am around - haha).

One of my closer friends, let’s call her Amy, was talking about a guy she recently met at a party. Seems innocent enough, right? Well, what she disclosed to me in the next three minutes was like getting more than just a peek behind the veil. I was totally shocked at what she told me.

Before I delve into what her mental processes were, let me remind you - with women, you NEVER get a second chance at a first impression. I find that men tend to reserve judgment for a few moments before arriving at an opinion of a person.

Women, however, tend to form this is a matter of SECONDS. So, if you don’t have your look, vibe & life HANDLED, you are destined for the bottom feeding extravaganza known as sarging, and spending time with GUYS who like to talk about (but never actually DATE) attractive and interesting women.

Women have developed a system of sensitivity over the years that we can NOT relate to. They have a “Creep Meter” (now known forever as CM) that is designed to protect them from predatory, disingenuous posers who masquerade as having their shit together when in reality they are arrogantly assuming that it is OK to play in the “land of make believe”. And, just so we all know, what is small subset of these ne’er-do-wells?

- PUAs (aka, pick-up artists)
- Players
- Serial daters
- Nicely dressed dudes, pockets filled with “things to say” only seeking sexual fulfillment (aka, pick-up artists)

Hopefully this will be a bit repetitive to you who consistently read this blog, but the above subset only attracts its reciprocal – meaning, dimly lit hotties or player girls…which is why they are all chronically single, and mostly spend time with members of their OWN sex. Pretenders attract pretenders…the CM is much too high for women with a reasonably high IQ.

You should be suspicious of the “women experts” out there whose entourage consists of lapdog boys vaguely dressed as the guru…and who “just broke up with their girlfriend”

So, back to my story…what I did was ask her to put her thoughts into WORDS (in an email) so I could directly reproduce it here with no editorializing on my part. Here is the precise mental process of Amy:

First, I noticed his body language – it was like he was subtly leading with his dick. The guy had his head slightly tilted back, like an arrogant snob or something. I felt like he was looking down on me. I then quickly read his tone, it was tense – like he had something to hide. It was too high-pitched for his “too big” posture. I never trust a guy with tense vocal chords, I don’t really know why either. Then, I noticed he was wearing a necklace, and when I asked him about it he had NO idea that the icon in it was in fact an Asian fertility symbol – what a poser! His shirt collar had ring around the collar – how tacky is that! Next, his belt buckle was WAY over the top – classic try hard. I hate it when guys overcompensate for their lack of personality with flash and glitz. He had a slight unibrow, which is often not a huge issue for me, but combined with everything else, made it yet another piece of evidence. His fingernails were all dirty – which is completely inexcusable – and his shoes did not match his clothing. You know, all of this may seem small, and petty. But, I gotta say, all of these small things were completely congruent with his VIBE – there was something about him which was like a real estate salesman who wouldn’t take you into the basement cause he knew it was flooded. I can’t put my finger on it, but he was just CREEPY.

Amy.

Flabbergasting. I mean, what’s a guy to do with all of this analysis going on?? Is there any hope for us? At first, I thought that Amy might be the problem. But all of the other women at the table completely AGREED.

What I later learned was that many of these small things are not a big deal if the VIBE seems cool and trustworthy. A woman is willing to overlook a zit, or a dirty fingernail, if the overall picture is together.

So, how do you know if the overall picture is together? My advice – LOOK AROUND YOU. Are there women in your world? Do you have female friends in your life? If not, you might be setting off CM’s when you meet women.

Women WANT to meet and date cool guys who have REAL lives. If you are not dating interesting, attractive women – you are probably creeping them out.

You can dress this up as much as you want, you can learn all the gimmicks you can get your hands on, you can even model the VERY BEST in the world…and still be single, horny, desperate…and alone.

Hell, at the end of Project Hollywood, we, the so-called BEST, were ALL single. What a joke right! There were guys there teaching men how to pick-up girls who hadn’t been kissed in MONTHS.

The message here is – GET A LIFE…and get a REAL one. That is the ONLY way to meet women. And, as you get that life, LEARN social skills the hard way – by practicing. Guys who set off the CM’s of the world are unsocialized, and are unwilling to practice in order to normalize their behavior around women.

The whole reason I wrote “How To Get A Girlfriend” was to put a system into place that would help develop a guy’s social skills so that he could approach and attract the women he desires. But, also, to provide a way for a guy to fix his internal self-image and have that align with his Look and Vibe.

Frankly, that is the best and most complete way to “up” your success with women man.

So, are you willing?

Talk more later…

SN.

Hey guys,

Ever been to Great Adventure in NJ? Unreal roller coasters. My girlfriend and I, and two other friends, went there on Sunday. We rode 12 roller coasters! Amazing fun.

Stumbled across this funny article and thought to post it. Last week I wrote a bit about being smart with your halloween costume, and how it can help you socially - and in meeting women.

This article focuses on helping women dissect the meaning of men’s costumes. Take it with a grain of salt…

Here is the funniest analysis of the article (describing “A Spartan from 300″):

Spencer: Leonidas is a bit of a two-way bet, ladies. Underneath those rippling washboard abs is a sensitive hunny bunny who has to wear his spectacles to figure out how to strap on his bulging leather codpiece. On the other hand, you could find yourself with a guy who immediately plants himself in front of the nearest mirror to spend the night admiring his very white teeth, his very cut bronze torso and, again, his very bulging leather codpiece.

I’d say the first guy described in this example is from NYC, and the second is from LA…

Click here for the full story.

SN.

I have received a number of emails this week from guys wanting to know cool ideas for Halloween costumes.

What they are REALLY asking are what are some ways to get attention with their costume, and even have people (read: WOMEN) approach you.

Well, you could always dress as Hugh Hefner – fully robed, with slippers. Of course, unless you have the standard two gorgeous blondes on each arm, the costume seems incomplete doesn’t it?

Here are some ideas that will help you be both cool, and approachable, on Halloween.

1) Props. Wear or carry props that will invoke curiosity. A few years ago, I dressed up as a vending machine. It was a simple idea: just wear all black clothing, and cover yourself with candy (attached by tape, or small specs of glue). People will be both intrigued by your creativity, and will also want to get some candy! Wear this costume, and watch as people approach you all night long.

2) Shiny is best. If you want to be noticed, wear things which are bright, shiny and even…electric. I have a friend who has a scrolling message board he wears on Halloween. You can program in certain phrases or sayings which grab people’s attention (obviously). Women are naturally drawn towards flashy, interesting objects. Why, you say? By wearing a flashy, shiny costume you are communicating socially that you want to be approached. Simple, and effective.

3) Controversy. If you want attention, embrace controversy. For example, a friend of mine last year went out as Michael Jackson. As part of his costume, he attached a pair of boys briefs to the lips of the mask! This was quite the attention-getter. People would naturally remark about his costume, and he was thusly able to meet LOTS of people.

Guys typically communicate socially that they do not want to be approached. Their look is conservative, and geared towards “fitting-in”.

Halloween is a time to throw caution to the wind, and try something outrageous. Use your creativity, and add a little bait to the costume (candy ALWAYS works). This way, you are telling people to come talk to you.

Of course, once they do approach you, you then have to know how to communicate with them. If you don’t have that piece mastered, then it’s time you checked out my ebook by clicking here.

Seriously, it is THE primer for dating mastery – why waste another second with questions, when $49 gets you all the answers?

What’s the use in grabbing their attention, if you have no follow-thru!

Most importantly, have fun on Halloween. Be intelligent about what you wear, and allow your costume to work FOR you. Challenge yourself NOT to fit in.

You will see that when you don’t, you tend to get a LOT of attention!

Have a good weekend guys,

Stephen Nash.

What is your Look?

How do you think people see you, when they first meet you?

What is your first impression?

Do You Even KNOW?

If not…you’ll want to seriously consider what I am about to cover with you. Don’t you think you deserve to make a strong first impression? I think you do. I Cover all these in detail in my e-book “How To Get A Girl Friend“, Read on.

I was just outside, coming back from lunch this afternoon. I made a few mental notes about the various first impressions I noticed from the sidewalk.

- First, a homeless person - so that’s a clear and very extreme first impression.

- Now we have a lovely attractive young woman without a jacket on a day when you might wear a jacket, because it’s somewhat chilly, and a Burberry scarf, pearl earrings, hair pulled back. She’s very elegant, very pretty.

- And then there’s a gentleman standing by the ATM, whose suit makes him appear to be a security guard (which he isn’t btw). His clothing doesn’t quite fit, just a little too big. His shoes are not quite polished. He has a fairly bland look, with a balding head, pounding away at his Blackberry.

(As an exercise: you might look around you and just see how it is that you respond to people based on how they are dressed…interesting, eh?)

One certainly sees everything here in New York, soup to nuts. From clear, specific, interesting personal style, as I may have described with that young lady. Everything working together - her outfit was well put together, she looks smart and elegant. Also, it worked for her body, it worked for her image.

And then the blue-suited gentleman here who frankly just fades away. There’s nothing directly interesting about how he looks, therefore I won’t remember him in five minutes time.

So, what we at CEIC like to do, and in particular when I meet with guys, is I make an instant analysis of my first impression of them. And we dive into that A LOT - we’ll talk about fashion and style; we’ll talk about what their body language communicates about them; what it is that their “vibe” is. All of these things have an impact on how it is that I feel a guy should present himself.

So the first principle I want to outline to you here, is the difference between being Physically attractive and Genetically attractive. There is a difference, and in the dating game, it is a HUGE difference.

Typically, guys who struggle with women are not Physically attractive MEANING that the things that are well within their control:

- their fashion and style sense
- how it is they choose to live their life (their lifestyle, and how it is that that impacts their vibe)
- how it is that they might choose to wear their hair
- their shoes
- etc…

All the things that are within their control - things that you can do TODAY to deal with that – are not handled, or are handled VERY poorly.

Typically, these guys struggle with women…sound familiar?

(Herein lies the global issue of autonomy, which I’ve talked about before on this blog and in podcasts too…VERY important)

There’s a difference between being genetically attractive and physically attractive. Genetically attractive person might be Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise or George Clooney, or any of these celebrities that we typically think of when we think of good-looking handsome men.

You know, genetics is something that we can’t necessarily control, at all. I mean, in this day and age, typically here in New York City on the East Side, as I look around I see many people trying to control their genetics with various surgical applications… but we won’t get into that!

Now, being physically attractive is something well within your control.

You CAN look your best.

You CAN make a good first impression.

You CAN take time out of your life to focus on fashion and style, and your look, and cultivate an image that will maximize how it is that you appear to people.

Now, our work is HARDLY about looking good and feeling terrible. Our work at CEIC is primarily about looking good and feeling great, so that what it is and how you are in front of people - your first impression and your lasting impression ring true to a guy who’s autonomous, happy, and fulfilled.

If you want great relationships with quality women, what we feel is that you’ve got to get your life in order. And one thing you can do is think outside of this box and build a look that works for you.

So, if your image is that of an average guy, this encourages you to fade away, never standing out. Now I’m not talking about showing up to work in an outrageous costume every day! But what I am talking about is finding an image that works for you, and that helps you to be seen.

So ask yourself these three questions when you’re building your look and enhancing your image…ready?

No. 1: Does it help me feel more powerful and confident?

No. 2: Will it help me achieve the aims I strive for in life?

No. 3: Does it work for my body type and personality?

Take those three questions with you as you begin to cultivate and design for yourself an image. So you might consider a certain garment, jacket, pants…

Let’s use an obvious example - If you have an office type of job, and you want to dress better at the workplace, diving into the jeans rack at the Gap might not be a wise choice. What I would suggest, in that case, is going to a good men’s store, perhaps not something that’s overpriced - here in New York we have Zara, which is great for men, particularly of my size, who are fairly thin and tall - they have great pants there.

Every major city typically has exceptional stores for clothing, mid-range stores for clothing, and then the average stores for clothing. I would stay away from the average stores, and shoot for the middle rack. You know, you’re not going to go to Saks Fifth Avenue, here in New York, if you’re not loaded with green. But you might go to Macy’s, or Zara, or you might go to good, intelligent thrift stores like Housing Works, where they often have hand-me-down’s worn by people who have great taste in clothing.

I recently found a $40 pair of Boss slacks at a thrift store which fit me perfectly that are a huge steal. They would easily retail for four or five-hundred dollars!

So, you have to think outside the box.

Here’s a couple of websites: Bluefly.com and Yoox.com, where you can buy contemporary clothing that is suited, hopefully, to your body type and color scheme, which you have to consider.

Also, here’s an exercise, and I want you to ask yourself these questions - write them down. Reread this tonight or tomorrow if you need to, and then write down the answers. And from those answers begin to try to conceptualize for yourself a new look, or at least the next step in a new look.

You’re going to be asked here to become your own image consultant because you’re not here in front of me and I obviously can not work with you directly, but I can give you something to think about.

There are eight of them…here goes:

No. 1: Go to a mirror and notice your body language. And ask yourself what does it communicate? You might even involve a friend. It could be male or female - if it’s a guy that you like to go out with, fine; if you have a female friend, fine. Ask them to help you here, because you might not be the best judge.

No. 2: What body type are you? Thin, medium build, muscular, or are you overweight? Try to keep this answer simple.

No. 3: Thumb through a men’s magazine, and ask yourself which fashion ads grab your attention and why? What about the look of the men in the picture grabs your attention? This is important in order to see what stimulates your imagination. What it is that you might begin to feel great wearing?

No. 4: Imagine a scenario where you are successful in the workplace or in your career. And ask yourself what is it that you are wearing in that image? How is your posture, what is your vibe? Are you confident and assured? Are you meek and timid? Be honest with yourself and write this down.

No. 5: Imagine a scenario where you are going out on the town with the woman of your dreams. You’re arm in arm, headed to a concert perhaps, or a show. You are both very comfortable and happy with each other. What are you wearing, how is your posture, what is your vibe? Again, is it confident and assured, meek and timid? Something else/something in-between? Write it down.

No. 6: Use your imagination to determine what type of look you picture yourself in. Is it casual? Dressed up in suits? Is it preppy? Dressed down perhaps in the latest street-wear? Consider your day-to-day life, and what image you need to project to fulfill your aims. See yourself successfully achieving these goals and notice the look you embody. That one is HUGE. If you have any impressions or images of yourself as you read this, I would encourage you to examine those and look into them and see how far you can take that.

No. 7: Consider the roles that you play daily that impact your style. Are you an executive, student, a DJ? These are common sense. If you’re stuck, think of someone whose clothes you like, someone that you think dresses stylishly and conveys the right things with their look. At the same time look at yourself and be honest. Will this work for you?

You know, I personally love the way Mick Jagger dresses, but I can’t imagine myself wearing his clothing out in my daily life. That just wouldn’t be intelligent, so you’ve got to be smart here. That’s obviously an extreme example, but I think it communicates a point.

And then lastly…

No. 8: Who do you look like? Ask yourself; do you look like Mick Jagger? Do you look like Tom Cruise? Do you look like a friend of yours? Do you have a similar body type as he? Does your hair kind of mirror each other’s in some way? Take a look at that. Examine that. See what looks good on those body types, and then maybe adapt that to your own look.

A friend of mine was recently approached by someone who said that he looked like Pierce Brosnan. This guy kept getting people coming up to him saying ‘You look like Pierce Brosnan… You remind me of Pierce Brosnan’. So, what did he do? He looked at photographs of Pierce Brosnan, and didn’t exactly mirror his style necessarily, but did take on certain looks that he wore, even in Bond films, but certainly publicity photos of him coming in and out of theatres.

He took on some of his looks, which looked GREAT.

In the CEIC Natural Attraction Program, our audio product, we have probably five exercises like this. This is just one of the five where we go through a step by step process of you working with us in developing a look and a style that actually works for you, in your environment, for your vibe and for your body type.

We take you through precise steps that you can take which will lead you to a more empowering, attractive look.

Again, we can’t control genetics necessarily, but what we can control is how we appear physically to the world based on the choices that we make. And my goal working with you is to help you make choices that are empowering, and that lead you in the direction that you really want your life to go…

Does that interest you?

Everything can help us if we pay attention to it, and if we devote ourselves to being intelligent about it. The Natural Attraction product is designed to empower you in each and every area of your life.

Every disk and skill that we cover is about empowering you socially, physically, and internally. We cover every social skill known to man, while also coaching you to develop a lifestyle, and pursuing a life that brings you happiness in every area…and also most importantly, with women and dating.

So that you can find all at our website by clicking on this link:

Natural Attraction Audio Program

You’ll be hearing from me soon…

Your Friend,

Stephen Nash

So many words in our lexicon are tossed around with such a variety of meaning, that it’s a true wonder that we understand each other in this culture. This is PARTICULARLY true in the world of dating. One basic concept that you guys HAVE to grasp is the nature of ATTRACTION.

Attraction, in brief, is simply when someone feels a romantic impulse towards another. It is the first step in building a meaningful relationship.

What follows are chemistry, connection, compromise and commitment. Initially, if a woman is attracted to you and you to her, you have accomplished the simplest and most elusive building block in a relationship.

I have met many men over the years, and have studied the nature of what is attractive to women. Initially, each woman (and man) has a certain “type” that triggers the potential for attraction. This does not mean that if you don’t fit that type that you are out of luck. It does mean that your chances of engaging her in a flirtatious conversation increase.

As a man, it is very hard to know what type a particular woman is attracted to – and there is only one way to find out – initiate a conversation with her. The best way to increase your chances with women, is to increase the attractiveness of your world and the daily life you lead.

Women, intuitively, are looking for a man that fulfills her innate need for security. This is why insecure men have trouble attracting a mate. A secure man tends to embody a sense of humor, focus/determination (he lives with purpose), leadership, humility and vulnerability. Healthy, attractive women crave this combination.

These traits are challenging for many men, which is why I believe a guy who struggles with women is living out of balance with himself. His outlook is normally negative, and he seems to respond to life, rather than act or move towards it. Insecurity is a result of being prey to negative emotions, such as depression, anger, envy, greed, lust etc.

If a guy struggles with envy, he will find himself walking through the world comparing himself to everyone he meets, subtly fulfilling his internal prophecy of “I am not enough, look at that guy, he’s got it all…”

The essence to being an attractive man is being a positive man. If you are a guy who struggles with dating and relationships, you must ask yourself these essential questions:

• Do you see problems in front of you, or challenges?

• Are you willing to accept yourself as you are, for the moment, and take on the responsibility of creating a life that is truly your own?

• Are you focused on short-term survival, or long-term prosperity?

History proves that, biologically – and therefore, intuitively - women seek out men that give them a sense of security. In order for a man to provide this, he must be secure in himself. A secure man is an autonomous man…he is the elusive one within each of us who craves to call his life his own.

If you desire to persuade people into your life in order to build relationships, you will be far more compelling to others if what you are offering promises to be a positive experience for them.

This is a simple sales model – in order to sell a product, it needs to promise a positive experience for the consumer. If your world is filled with positive emotions (humor, happiness, passion, to name a few) you will magnetically bring like-minded people into your life.

For example, when you are talking to a woman on the phone, and she asks you “what’s up?” You might reply by painting an interesting and exciting view of the world in front of you – be original. Recently, I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine, and in the middle of the conversation, I described to her the very funny scene happening directly in front of me – which was of two kids playing with a puppy.

It was a very humorous way to involve her into my world, one that helped her understand that I see the world as a lively and fun place, and that I am not afraid to share that with her – doing things like this says so much about you as a man, but do you take the time to consider it?

Another great way to reflect a powerful image into the world is in how you dress. Look at your wardrobe. Are you up on the latest fashion? Is your look something you are proud of, that you enjoy? Does your look work for your career path?

If not, you might want to consider at least enhancing your wardrobe a bit with some of the basics or by buying a very nice pair of shoes for example. Or, seek out some help in defining a look which works with both your personality and lifestyle, and then find a way to incorporate that – hire an image consultant, get your stylish sister to go shopping with you, buy men’s magazines for ideas…the possibilities are endless here guys.

Just remember, the most critical aspect in considering how you dress is to reflect your personality in a powerful way, that also works for the environment or scene that you are in. Might not be best to wear a really cool t-shirt to your corporate job, for example.

If you can be someone who sees the world in a positive light, you will naturally bring people closer to you. Men who are successful with women are those who are autonomous and embody a spirit of security by having a full, meaningful and positive lifestyle. In short, they are happy.

I have had the privilege of working with men all around the world in assisting them in meeting women, and in building an attractive and fulfilling lifestyle.

I’ve consolidated all of this wisdom in my ebook, How To Get A Girlfriend. In it, I tie in the meaning of “attraction” with “security”, “autonomy”, social skills, fashion/style etc. Seriously, it is the most complete dating book on the market…and you can check it out on a 30-day trial FREE of charge…read more about it here:

http://www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com/ebook

Stephen Nash.

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with NOTHING to say?

Are you the kind of guy who ‘defaults’ into asking questions when the discussion dries up?

If so, I have the perfect solution for you…

Tell A STORY!

Storytelling is an age-old artform, but for our purposes I want to keep things simple…this is just an article, right?

With women, it is important that you tell a story in a way that captures and leads HER imagination, so that it brings her into your world…which is a nice place to be, right?

In “How To Get A Girlfriend” and “Natural Attraction” I cover this down to the minutest detail – even leading you through an exercise which helps you understand and MASTER this.

Men who are naturally successful with women almost always have a sincere interest in life, and in living it to the fullest.

I talk at length about passion, and its relevance to being attractive in the final chapter of “How To Get A Girlfriend”, but I will touch on it here as it relates to storytelling.

These “naturals” have a lot of activities going on, where they are able to test themselves, and grow as men.

Their life is interesting. It brings a lot of fascination and intrigue all because they have an open mind, and choose to explore it.

One way that this serves to help them in their lives with women is that they have interesting stories to tell. Women (and all people) are captivated by a good story. The best storytellers always fill their words and tales with drama, humor, passion, intrigue and mystery.

Next time you are at the beach, notice what kinds of books women are reading while they sunbathe. This summer, I seemed to see a lot of romance novels, as well as mystery and suspense novels.

Women are most often led by their emotional center, and when they find something (or someone) who understands how to communicate with them in an emotional way, they get interested.

What might be some topics to focus on when considering what stories to tell while in the presence of women? Here’s a list:

- Pop Culture
- Spirituality
- Emotionally charged memories & experiences
- Travel
- Adventure
- Humorous stories from your life

These topics are great because they are entertaining, exciting, funny and generate positive emotions. Also, the more interested you already are in a certain topic the better. This helps you to be enthusiastic when telling your story, a VERY necessary prerequisite for capturing someone’s attention.

If you have a natural interest in one of the above topics, it makes sense for you to want to share stories from your life that reflect this interest. Get that?

So, what are some ways that we can develop this skill called storytelling?

1) Pay attention (see the world around you, and develop an eye/ear for a good story)
2) Learn to communicate via emotions (as opposed to logic)
3) Live passionately

Let’s spend a BRIEF minute now with each of these topics.

Pay attention: People tend to sleep walk through their lives. Great poets seem to always highlight this when they discuss the smallest things, which most of us don’t see and appreciate. As you go through your life, pay attention to what you see.

Also, remember to paint the picture for someone. Get them involved by creating clear images of what is happening. Great storytellers are comfortable using their body, facial expressions and voice to illuminate the story.

This allows them to enter into that world, and have a similar experience of the story as you had when witnessing it. This strengthens the connection between the two of you, painting an attractive portrait of your world. Makes sense right?

Each day of your life is full of scenes, scenarios, and happenings that make for good stories.

Also, many men forget that women like it when we make fun of ourselves. It communicates that you are secure with yourself. If you can tell a funny story which pokes fun at yourself, illustrates that you are human and are comfortable with that, you will get great reactions from women – TRUST ME.

I want to emphasize the importance of paying attention to what is happening around you. This can help you in all areas of your life, not just in relating to women.

No one’s life is so boring, so lacking in humor, beauty and drama, as to prevent them from having any interesting stories to relate to others.

Here is an appropriate mindset: you find your life interesting, and the world fascinates you; you, naturally, wish to convey this to others as you are a very social guy; you want others to come into your world so you invite them in with a story.

Learn emotional communication: If women could hit us all over the heads, and in a flash change one thing about men, it would be that we are not in touch with our emotions.

In order to communicate emotionally, we first must be in contact with our own emotional lives. This means being open to how we are feeling, each and every moment. (Check out David Deida’s “Blue Truth” for more on this)

Emotional communication is where you speak in a way that creates emotions in the listener. The way to do this as a storyteller is to invite the senses and emotions into the story.

This means to recreate the images that you observed, and sounds and smells you experienced, and anything you physically felt as a result of the experience. You must do this with your words, conveying these words with feeling and emotion.

Men tend to be stoic, stiff, logical people, governed more by their intellect while women tend to be more emotional, centered in their feelings. The “natural” is not stiff; he is relaxed and unafraid to convey emotions.

He relates a story from his life with real feeling and he sympathizes with women intuitively. At the same time he offers them strength and challenges them to face things in a more balanced way.

He is unafraid to give himself to something with a great deal of passion. The next time you go to a bar, or club, or somewhere where people are socializing, notice the men who have women with them. Are they the stiff, nervous-looking guys who are mostly silent and appear as a deer in headlights when face-to-face with a beautiful woman?

Nope.

Are they the relaxed, confident guys who are just having fun, joking around with people, sharing the moment and their life lightheartedly, without the appearance of being under a lot of pressure?

Yes.

Once you open up and begin to trust and listen to yourself, you will begin to notice many cues that were always there before, but that you were unaware of…why? You weren’t paying attention, that’s why.

This is an invaluable skill when storytelling because it adds a dimension to it that women strongly relate to – an emotional dimension.

Remember, our ebook “How to Get A Girlfriend” and audio program “Natural Attraction” both cover this extensively. I strongly suggest starting with the ebook and giving it a solid three reads WHILE you practice this in real life.

The only way to really change your life is to invite in new, outside information (in this case, my ebook) and then PRACTICE developing the skill.

Good luck!

Stephen Nash

So, how do you know when to take things to the next level?
How to know when to “make the move”? This is a problem every guy sweats. In fact, I know a handful of guys who lose sleep over this prior to going out with a girl. Wouldn’t you like a clear and easy plan to navigate these special moments? Read on.
I want to cover a few things while going through this topic of “How To Escalate”. All of them require you to pay attention, and lead the interaction.
Typically, when in an intimate situation, women look to men to lead this process. The first thing you should be paying attention to is body language.
Body language
You will need to gauge her comfort level by observing her body language, and by listening to what she says. The basic rule of thumb is to not give her any more energy (via body language) than she is giving with hers and in the meantime create comfort by talking, listening, and expressing humor, encouraging her to open up to you.
When she does so, reward her with changing your body language too, slowly leading her physically into more and more comfort.
For example, say you are both sitting on the sofa and you notice that her legs are crossed AWAY from you. What we teach is to also cross yours away from her, and then, after a few moments of comfort building, cross your legs TO her.
If you have earned her trust, she will, as a result of greater rapport, cross her legs to you. See that? This principle applies to all potential scenarios.
The idea is to meet her where she is, then lead her from that into a more intimate place.
Tonality
You will want to slow down your speech, and soften your voice when escalating. This may be obvious to some of you guys, but women are very responsive to changes in sound.
Again, if you do this at the right time, you will, just by using your voice, LEAD her into greater intimacy - her voice will slow down, and soften…you lean in to hear her, get closer…see where this leads?
Pacing her reality
If you sense her getting uncomfortable for any reason pace her reality and acknowledge that you are sensitive to the moment. When you pace someone’s reality, you exhibit understanding for their situation, you build a connection there, stabilizing the energy.
Then, you simply build back to where you were, and continue to escalate. Pacing can be used at any point, particularly where you feel that she is uncomfortable, or you are uncomfortable.
There are two very good ways to do so:
1) Pace it by simply acknowledging it.
“Wow, here we are in my bedroom, I must say it is a bit uncomfortable to be here with a completely new person and it must also be kind of different for you too. Well, since you are a new person in my room, as your initiation, you must tell a very funny joke.”
So, what have I done here? I have communicated that I am uncomfortable (which will invariably surprise her), I acknowledge that I understand her feelings too (notice that I don’t say that she feels uncomfortable, or weird - I say “different”, better to frame her feelings in this way, rather than something so obviously negative), and then I take her feelings and transfer her discomfort from being in my room to a challenge to tell a funny joke. Now she has a different reason to feel uncomfortable, and it is not about me, but rather about a challenge that I have laid down. Yes, you can certainly use the line, but better to understand the principle.
So, here is a short definition: pacing = acknowledgement, connection, and lead away. Cool?
So, how then do you know when to move forward, when to escalate? Well, you have to begin to notice rhythms that exist socially between people. There are certain windows of opportunity which open up when in intimacy.
Escalation is on your mind, and it is on hers. She is wondering if you will, and then, how you will-escalate.
What will be on your mind, usually, is that you want to, but how, and when? You HAVE to pay attention, and you HAVE to be willing to take the chance.
There is a structure I teach in Natural Attraction which is foolproof, and works everytime. This structure is universal, and is always applicable when it comes to deciding when to kiss, touch, and advance further into physical intimacy. I don’t give it away here though…
In my experience, guys typically advance their success with women drastically after learning some very simple, easy to understand, facts about dating and female psychology.
All of these are covered in our complete audio program, Natural Attraction which is guaranteed to dramatically alter how you perceive women and dating from the moment you begin the first CD.
In fact, you can be working your way through it in a matter of days by clicking here and reading more about it.
Otherwise, hope you’re enjoying the holidays…and more to come from me soon.
SN.

Don’t worry, it happens to each and every one of us. We meet a woman, she is gorgeous, intelligent, and seems into us. And then, just as we are about to move to kiss her, she throws up her hands and delivers the CLASSIC line:

Let’s Just Be Friends

Ugh…our hearts drop, we feel embarrassed, and our masculinity plummets. What happened? What went wrong?

There is no fail-safe method to preventing this, but there are some tried and true tips to help stave-off this dreaded phrase. Here we go:

1) Be physical. No, I don’t mean wrestle with her, but I do mean for you to TOUCH her. Perhaps you just met her, and have been talking for 5-10 minutes – touch her lightly on the hand or the shoulder. Or, you are out on your first date, offer your arm to her as you cross the street or subtly place your hand on her lower back. These are masculine moves, which signal to her that this is a romantic interaction, not a “friendly” one.

2) Be bold. Ultimately guys, she is looking to you to be both sensitive to her and to the moment. If the window opens for a kiss, be bold, and go for it. If you allow too many of these to pass, the energy changes, and you classify YOURSELF as a “friend”. Even if she rejects your advance, it is far better to go for it that not. You get nowhere fast by hoping a kiss magically happens. If she does reject you, this doesn’t mean you cannot try again later. Also, she may be saving you a lot of time by indicating that she simply is not interested in you. Better to find out now…

3) Challenge her. Too often we are so eager to please the woman that we fail to be ourselves. If we are really focused and moving our lives forward, our attractiveness to women increases tremendously. In my ebook, “How To Get A Girlfriend”, I discuss this in length. A woman, intuitively, biologically, is seeking a man who will be firm and steadfast in his resolve, and his purpose. The way we demonstrate this is in not accepting her at her fullest. So, if you feel that she is not really living up to her potential, TELL HER. If she is allowing herself to slip into mediocrity, TELL HER. Do it tenderly, and with love, but be sure to do it. Don’t accept less than her best.

There you go guys. If you can do these three things with consistency, you will never find yourself hearing those awful words again…”Let’s Just Be Friends”. There will be times when you do not get the girl, but you will always be firm in your purpose maintaining your integrity. And, you will be better prepared for the NEXT girl, just around the corner.

If you want to know more about EXACTLY how to incorporate this belief set, and skyrocket your dating success, check out my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend”. You can download it to your computer, and be reading it in less than 5 minutes. Want to get this area handled ASAP? Go for it now.

Also, if you have questions that you feel are suitable for our mailbag series, feel free to email them to me at: Stephen@ceimageconsulting.com.

My best to you,

Stephen Nash

Want to know the REAL reason women are turned-off by men? The answer might surprise you.

You’re probably thinking it has to do with your haircut, the pleats in your pants, or your bank account. In fact, it usually has NOTHING to do with these things.

I remember being blown off by a girl in college. I had asked her out, and she gave me the classic, “Let me call you back, OK?” Well, I am sure you know the rest of this sad tale. She never called. However, I did run into her a few weeks later and asked her out again. I figured she had “forgotten” to call!

What she told me completely changed my life:

“You’re too needy, I don’t like that. I want a man I can trust, not someone who needs me”

Wow….my head spun for days. I couldn’t believe she had said that. And, what’s more, I couldn’t believe she could TELL after having only met me for 10 minutes!

Well, that began my journey to being successful with dating and women. The sting of those remarks has never left me!

What I learned over the years may surprise you. There are CLASSIC and CONSISTENT ways guys project neediness when meeting new women. Here they are:

1) Ask Too Many Questions: There is nothing wrong with being curious and inquisitive. However, if that is all you do when you meet a new woman, you are subtly telling her that you are seeking rapport with her while knowing NOTHING about her. There needs to be a balance of questions, statements, observations, stories etc. The amount of talking needs to be shared equally between the two of you - 50/50. If you find yourself rifling off boring questions like “Where are you from?”, “What’s Your Sign?”, “What’s Your Bra Size?”…you are in serious trouble.

2) Needy Body Language: A great tool you can own is the ability to read body language. Imagine a conversation where one person is leaning into another. Perhaps they are making a point, or perhaps they are trying to listen to what the other has to say. Which has the power? You guessed it – it’s the one standing upright, not the one leaning. How is your body language right now as you read this? Are you hunched over at your desk, or are you sitting tall in your chair? Empower yourself by changing your body language. Never lean in to a woman, and always sit or stand tall. There are no exceptions to this rule. Let her lean into you.

3) Weak Vocal Tone: If you are afraid of being heard, you communicate timidity, neediness and insecurity. If you project your voice, with a confident tone you ALSO say you expect to be heard and are confident in what you have to say. I cannot stress the importance of a powerful vocal tone – it is ESSENTIAL.

If you are able to master these, you will prevent the SYMPTOMS of neediness from appearing. However, the best and surest way to remedy these is to tackle the problem head-on. How do you do that?

Study this one word:

AUTONOMY

Now, if you want to clearly “get” why this idea is critical for you to understand, and why it is ESSENTIAL that you internalize it, then check out my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend”. In it, I cover WHY becoming autonomous is the only real way to discover lasting success with women. I also help you develop an action plan to put you on the FAST TRACK for success.

So, enough of being needy and clingy with women. You are destroying your chances before you even start!

Here’s the link to get you started fixing this problem:

http://www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com

As always, please let me know if you have any questions. I am always happy to hear from guys in the real world, encountering real world challenges. Send your questions to me via the About page on my website.

As always, good luck!

Stephen Nash
www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com

What is your Look?

How do you think people see you, when they first meet you?

What is your first impression?

Do You Even KNOW?

If not…you’ll want to seriously consider what I am about to cover with you. Don’t you think you deserve to make a strong first impression? I think you do. Read on.

I was just outside, coming back from lunch this afternoon. I made a few mental notes about the various first impressions I noticed from the sidewalk.

- First, a homeless person - so that’s a clear and very extreme first impression.

- Now we have a lovely attractive young woman without a jacket on a day when you might wear a jacket, because it’s somewhat chilly, and a Burberry scarf, pearl earrings, hair pulled back. She’s very elegant, very pretty.

- And then there’s a gentleman standing by the ATM, whose suit makes him appear to be a security guard (which he isn’t btw). His clothing doesn’t quite fit, just a little too big. His shoes are not quite polished. He has a fairly bland look, with a balding head, pounding away at his Blackberry.

(As an exercise: you might look around you and just see how it is that you respond to people based on how they are dressed…interesting, eh?)

One certainly sees everything here in New York, soup to nuts. From clear, specific, interesting personal style, as I may have described with that young lady. Everything working together - her outfit was well put together, she looks smart and elegant. Also, it worked for her body, it worked for her image.

And then the blue-suited gentleman here who frankly just fades away. There’s nothing directly interesting about how he looks, therefore I won’t remember him in five minutes time.

So, what we at CEIC like to do, and in particular when I meet with guys, is I make an instant analysis of my first impression of them. And we dive into that A LOT - we’ll talk about fashion and style; we’ll talk about what their body language communicates about them; what it is that their “vibe” is. All of these things have an impact on how it is that I feel a guy should present himself.

So the first principle I want to outline to you here, is the difference between being Physically attractive and Genetically attractive. There is a difference, and in the dating game, it is a HUGE difference.

Typically, guys who struggle with women are not Physically attractive MEANING that the things that are well within their control:

- their fashion and style sense
- how it is they choose to live their life (their lifestyle, and how it is that that impacts their vibe)
- how it is that they might choose to wear their hair
- their shoes
- etc…

All the things that are within their control - things that you can do TODAY to deal with that – are not handled, or are handled VERY poorly.

Typically, these guys struggle with women…sound familiar?

(Herein lies the global issue of autonomy, which I’ve talked about before on this blog and in podcasts too…VERY important)

There’s a difference between being genetically attractive and physically attractive. Genetically attractive person might be Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise or George Clooney, or any of these celebrities that we typically think of when we think of good-looking handsome men.

You know, genetics is something that we can’t necessarily control, at all. I mean, in this day and age, typically here in New York City on the East Side, as I look around I see many people trying to control their genetics with various surgical applications… but we won’t get into that!

Now, being physically attractive is something well within your control.

You CAN look your best.

You CAN make a good first impression.

You CAN take time out of your life to focus on fashion and style, and your look, and cultivate an image that will maximize how it is that you appear to people.

Now, our work is HARDLY about looking good and feeling terrible. Our work at CEIC is primarily about looking good and feeling great, so that what it is and how you are in front of people - your first impression and your lasting impression ring true to a guy who’s autonomous, happy, and fulfilled.

If you want great relationships with quality women, what we feel is that you’ve got to get your life in order. And one thing you can do is think outside of this box and build a look that works for you.

So, if your image is that of an average guy, this encourages you to fade away, never standing out. Now I’m not talking about showing up to work in an outrageous costume every day! But what I am talking about is finding an image that works for you, and that helps you to be seen.

So ask yourself these three questions when you’re building your look and enhancing your image…ready?

No. 1: Does it help me feel more powerful and confident?

No. 2: Will it help me achieve the aims I strive for in life?

No. 3: Does it work for my body type and personality?

Take those three questions with you as you begin to cultivate and design for yourself an image. So you might consider a certain garment, jacket, pants…

Let’s use an obvious example - If you have an office type of job, and you want to dress better at the workplace, diving into the jeans rack at the Gap might not be a wise choice. What I would suggest, in that case, is going to a good men’s store, perhaps not something that’s overpriced - here in New York we have Zara, which is great for men, particularly of my size, who are fairly thin and tall - they have great pants there.

Every major city typically has exceptional stores for clothing, mid-range stores for clothing, and then the average stores for clothing. I would stay away from the average stores, and shoot for the middle rack. You know, you’re not going to go to Saks Fifth Avenue, here in New York, if you’re not loaded with green. But you might go to Macy’s, or Zara, or you might go to good, intelligent thrift stores like Housing Works, where they often have hand-me-down’s worn by people who have great taste in clothing.

I recently found a $40 pair of Boss slacks at a thrift store which fit me perfectly that are a huge steal. They would easily retail for four or five-hundred dollars!

So, you have to think outside the box.

Here’s a couple of websites: Bluefly.com and Yoox.com, where you can buy contemporary clothing that is suited, hopefully, to your body type and color scheme, which you have to consider.

Also, here’s an exercise, and I want you to ask yourself these questions - write them down. Reread this tonight or tomorrow if you need to, and then write down the answers. And from those answers begin to try to conceptualize for yourself a new look, or at least the next step in a new look.

You’re going to be asked here to become your own image consultant because you’re not here in front of me and I obviously can not work with you directly, but I can give you something to think about.

There are eight of them…here goes:

No. 1: Go to a mirror and notice your body language. And ask yourself what does it communicate? You might even involve a friend. It could be male or female - if it’s a guy that you like to go out with, fine; if you have a female friend, fine. Ask them to help you here, because you might not be the best judge.

No. 2: What body type are you? Thin, medium build, muscular, or are you overweight? Try to keep this answer simple.

No. 3: Thumb through a men’s magazine, and ask yourself which fashion ads grab your attention and why? What about the look of the men in the picture grabs your attention? This is important in order to see what stimulates your imagination. What it is that you might begin to feel great wearing?

No. 4: Imagine a scenario where you are successful in the workplace or in your career. And ask yourself what is it that you are wearing in that image? How is your posture, what is your vibe? Are you confident and assured? Are you meek and timid? Be honest with yourself and write this down.

No. 5: Imagine a scenario where you are going out on the town with the woman of your dreams. You’re arm in arm, headed to a concert perhaps, or a show. You are both very comfortable and happy with each other. What are you wearing, how is your posture, what is your vibe? Again, is it confident and assured, meek and timid? Something else/something in-between? Write it down.

No. 6: Use your imagination to determine what type of look you picture yourself in. Is it casual? Dressed up in suits? Is it preppy? Dressed down perhaps in the latest street-wear? Consider your day-to-day life, and what image you need to project to fulfill your aims. See yourself successfully achieving these goals and notice the look you embody. That one is HUGE. If you have any impressions or images of yourself as you read this, I would encourage you to examine those and look into them and see how far you can take that.

No. 7: Consider the roles that you play daily that impact your style. Are you an executive, student, a DJ? These are common sense. If you’re stuck, think of someone whose clothes you like, someone that you think dresses stylishly and conveys the right things with their look. At the same time look at yourself and be honest. Will this work for you?

You know, I personally love the way Mick Jagger dresses, but I can’t imagine myself wearing his clothing out in my daily life. That just wouldn’t be intelligent, so you’ve got to be smart here. That’s obviously an extreme example, but I think it communicates a point.

And then lastly…

No. 8: Who do you look like? Ask yourself; do you look like Mick Jagger? Do you look like Tom Cruise? Do you look like a friend of yours? Do you have a similar body type as he? Does your hair kind of mirror each other’s in some way? Take a look at that. Examine that. See what looks good on those body types, and then maybe adapt that to your own look.

A friend of mine was recently approached by someone who said that he looked like Pierce Brosnan. This guy kept getting people coming up to him saying ‘You look like Pierce Brosnan… You remind me of Pierce Brosnan’. So, what did he do? He looked at photographs of Pierce Brosnan, and didn’t exactly mirror his style necessarily, but did take on certain looks that he wore, even in Bond films, but certainly publicity photos of him coming in and out of theatres.

He took on some of his looks, which looked GREAT.

In the CEIC Natural Attraction Program, our audio product, we have probably five exercises like this. This is just one of the five where we go through a step by step process of you working with us in developing a look and a style that actually works for you, in your environment, for your vibe and for your body type.

We take you through precise steps that you can take which will lead you to a more empowering, attractive look.

Again, we can’t control genetics necessarily, but what we can control is how we appear physically to the world based on the choices that we make. And my goal working with you is to help you make choices that are empowering, and that lead you in the direction that you really want your life to go…

Does that interest you?

Everything can help us if we pay attention to it, and if we devote ourselves to being intelligent about it. The Natural Attraction product is designed to empower you in each and every area of your life.

Every disk and skill that we cover is about empowering you socially, physically, and internally. We cover every social skill known to man, while also coaching you to develop a lifestyle, and pursuing a life that brings you happiness in every area…and also most importantly, with women and dating.

So that you can find all at our website by clicking on this link:

Natural Attraction Audio Program

You’ll be hearing from me soon…

SN.

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