My goal in working with men just like you is to help you learn how to get a girlfriend, and a hot girlfriend at that.
No guy should “settle” for what is just available (in fact, I wrote ebook, which is the ultimate how to get a girlfriend guide).
This is not a format for how to get a girlfriend in high school or for how to get a girlfriend online, but rather – in real life (nothing wrong with meeting women online, but it’s not my specialty).
Well I’d like to teach you the four steps that you need to take to meet a woman; not only an attractive woman, but a woman who is right for you so that she becomes your girlfriend. These four steps will help you get a girlfriend at 13 or 53.
It’s kind of an art, as you will see.
STEP #1
Step number one seems pretty obvious, but it’s really important. Get A Life!
Stop surfing the Internet. Stop reading articles like this every single day. Stop looking at the internet, or playing video games, or watching endless hours of “South Park” (my personal favorite TV show by the way). Get out into the world and start doing things.
Ask yourself this question, “How many people do you know who you can honestly say are really interesting people?” They are doing things that are different than other people. They are what I like to refer as individuals. Does that describe you??
I’m being a little snobbish and arrogant here, because I want to inspire you.
In fact, I want to piss you off.
You need to get a life. If you’re a guy who sucks with women, you’re probably not very happy or interesting.
You’re probably not really living the life you feel you should be living. A happy man is a man who lives in harmony with his nature (my short definition).
If you want to get a girlfriend, you need to get a life FIRST. So, get out into the world and do the things you’ve always wanted to do! OK?
If you don’t have a lot of money, be creative. Be imaginative. Be active. Get a life. Do cool, fun, interesting, adventurous things. I refuse to believe that those are not available to you right now. As soon as you finish reading this article, you can leave your house and do something interesting.
STEP #2
Step number two in how to get a girlfriends is to get some social skills. This actually happens as a result of being a socialized human being. Guys who are kind of private, insulated, and introverted tend to struggle with this.
Guess what? I’m an introvert. Typically men who need to learn social skills, don’t have them naturally, are kind of introverted and unsocialized.
If you get a life, (remember, that’s step #1), suddenly you will be around people and you’ll see that social skills are essential to learn to help you with things like approaching women.
When it comes down to how to get a girlfriend, approaching a woman is something you need to learn how to do. In fact, I would call it a rite of passage. Regardless of whether or not you meet the woman of your dreams through a cold approach (and I’m here to tell you that probably won’t), you need to learn to do a cold approach.
This is an experience that every man needs: to, on a certain day, see a woman and approach her, talk to her, and get her phone number. Every guy needs to have the experience of going from not knowing a woman to knowing her. It’s very powerful, and it changes your reality. It helps you know that you can go after the things you want in life, not only women, but everything.
So get some social skills. Learn how to approach women. Learn how to flirt. Learn how to escalate. Learn how to get a date. Learn how to date. There is an art to that. It’s not just dinner and a movie. Social skills are important.
Guys like me teach it. There are plenty of us coaches out there. I personally think I’m excellent at it. I know a number of others that are good at it too.
But again, get some social skills. That’s step #2.
STEP #3
Step number three is to get a social life. The nice thing that happens when you get a life and you get social skills is that you can merge these together into what I would call a healthy, balanced social life.
Things like: being the leader of your social circle & doing interesting things are pretty important.
Becoming the “go 2 guy” in your social circle - which means you’re out there in the community and you know what’s happening. You know what’s fun and adventurous. You know what’s just opening or what’s gotten the great reviews. Or, you know the kind of quiet, low key hidden places that no one else knows about and you lead your social circle in and through these adventurous experiences.
Suddenly, you become the “it” guy, the “cool” guy. People want to go and be with you and do the things that you’re doing.
This is again something that I had to undertake after Project Hollywood (you read “The Game” right? Yeah, that was me man…). Once that dissolved, I realized that “sarging” (aka, going out for the sole purpose of picking-up girls) wasn’t the end-all be-all to attracting women into my life.
I had to get out into the world and get a real social life. This means making friends and bringing those friends along with you on the particular outings you’re going on and making them fun and adventurous.
In other words: start doing the things you want to do and meet the other people who are there doing it with you.
It aint rocket science man.
Leave your house right now (well, as soon as you finish this article). Start doing all the things you want to do. And, meet the other people who are there doing it with you. This is how to get a social life.
STEP #4
Step number four might seem counter-intuitive, but that’s exactly why it’s the hardest one.
Step number four is to stop trying!
Step number one, you get a life. It becomes a natural way of life for you. Your lifestyle is fulfilling. It’s interesting. It’s adventurous. You’re out there doing it and living it on a regular basis.
Step umber two, you get some social skills. You don’t have to become Mystery, me, TylerDurden or Neil Strauss. You don’t need to become an expert pick-up artist or an expert at socializing. It makes people weird. Just get decent at meeting and attracting women. You don’t have to be great.
Once you get a social life, and you’re meeting women naturally and on a regular basis, THEN you stop trying.
Wanna know “the secret”? (And no, I’m not talking about the tacky movie that came out a couple years ago.)
The secret is that in order to get a girlfriend, you have to not be trying to get a girlfriend. Relationships happen when you’re not looking. It happened to me that way and it happens to most people that way.
It’s rare that a guy sees a girl across the street, approaches her, gets her number, takes her out on a date and they fall in love and live happily ever after. Usually, there’s a little more art to it than that. The art is in how you live your life.
This is step number four because it’s the highest level, the level of not-doing (ever read Zen??).
For a while, you’re going to have to try and try hard. You’re going to have to put a lot of energy into this and lean into your comfort zone on a regular basis. At a certain point, once you reach a level of aptitude, (not mastery, just aptitude) - stop trying.
Stop thinking about it! Stop reading websites about it (yes, this means YOU man). Get out into the world and make this a part of how you live on a daily basis.
The right woman will come along when you least expect it.
I’m leaving town for a week, and won’t be posting to the blog…so, let these concepts simmer a bit. But, I challenge you to get out and do something interesting, different and adventurous in the next week.
Also, if you’re looking for the complete, step-by-step plan to get a girlfriend, check out my ebook How to Get a Girlfriend.
I’ve recently had a rush of 1-on-1 coaching work here and it occurred to me to write a little bit about my observations of the common challenges I see guys facing (long sentences anyone?).
I guess it’s the nature of how I advertise my “social coaching” as not being an in-field training course that yields me less students than say some other company, BUT I also usually get very cool, more normal guys too.
When with RSD, the range of guy that would arrive at Project Hollywood, would be from the normal dude who simply lacked confidence in talking to girls, to the borderline sociopath who insisted that we teach him how to get every girl on the planet. I think some of that had to do with our marketing at the time, things like:
“See us pull wives off of their husbands and make out with them in under 3 minutes!”
Totally absurd of course, but you read a lot of outrageous claims in marketing letters these days.
One of the reasons Mike and I developed CEIC around the concept of NOT training guys “in field” was to:
1) Spare us the reality of having to “sarge” ever again (which I hate, frankly);
2) Attract a more mature customer and;
3) Help us focus on what ACTUALLY helps a guy, which is not training him to sarge, but rather coaching him on how to develop an interesting lifestyle that leads to a relationship with the RIGHT woman.
Well, that was a bit of a prelude, so let me now get into my analysis of the challenges that dudes seem to consistently face.
Here is the number one mindfuck guys are telling themselves:
I) I am NOT the problem, I just need to know what to SAY when I am around women
VERY WRONG. You ARE the problem man. If I told you everything you should/could say to get a woman right now, you’d still screw it up because the place from which the words arise (in YOU) is living a lie.
“Living a lie?”
Yep. The basis for the challenge that most guys face is that they don’t see reality. They believe:
1) I am unattractive
2) Women don’t like me
3) I am not “enough” to attract cool girls
4) It’s wrong to want to have sex with a girl
5) I am fatally flawed and will never truly get what I want in dating, and in life
Most guys are ASLEEP, and - frighteningly - they don’t want to wake up. They are comfortable and secure in their own negativity.
“I am unattractive”
Many guys ARE unattractive, but that could easily change by doing things differently, taking different actions, and presenting themselves better. They can’t see the difference between being physically attractive and genetically attractive. Brad Pitt is genetically attractive, Neil Strauss is NOT. However, Neil Strauss has turned himself into an attractive guy because he WOKE UP. “Women don’t like me”
WRONG. The problem is not that women don’t like you, the problem is that they don’t even NOTICE you. Most guys are average, ordinary and BORING. Sorry, that’s the truth as I see it. If you want to REALLY know how women feel, learn to approach and talk to them. Then, tell them about your life. If you are doing interesting, cool things - well then, guess what? They will find you INTERESTING. This is not brain surgery here.
One thing that I focus on A LOT with my guys is to rediscover their aims in life. Most of us are in a “rut” and it’s hard to get out. Most of us spend our days doing exactly the same things - we go to work, we have lunch, we go back to work, we head home, we have dinner, we surf the net, we watch TV, we go to bed.
BORING.
If you were going to die one year from now - HOW WOULD YOU SPEND THIS YEAR? This is a common question I ask guys, and it’s designed to help them see into what the REALLY want in life. I don’t advocate quitting your job, writing poetry from dawn til dusk & going broke…as that will be the fast track BACK into the same, boring life. Instead, carve out an hour/day to do what you REALLY want. Go explore your community, start painting, travel, SPEAK YOUR MIND…
I am serious - this is the number one way to attract women. BE INTERESTING, BE YOURSELF (YES, I AM SCREAMING WITH MY CAPS!) “I am not ‘enough’ to attract cool girls”
Says who? Mommy? Daddy? Sister? Who’s reality are you living here?
It is ALWAYS the case that a guy is self-feeding himself BS based on something he learned as a kid. It grows into “low self esteem” eventually. It grows into toxically negative thinking that becomes the “edge” of his comfort zone.
Your reality is something that you CAN CHANGE. One of the GREAT things about seeing a pro-PUA in action is that you can SEE him get a girl. Now, as I have said before, the GOOD PUAs out there are the ones who can attract a girl who is not initially interested or attracted to him. From what I can see, most of the Pro-PUAs out there are good-looking guys who likely get girls attracted to them in spite of their social skills. These guys cannot really help most guys.
The ones who can are the ones who can truly teach the art of attracting women. If you are looking to learn how to do that, be careful on who you spend your money with my friend.
But, your “reality” manifests in a variety of different ways. Look around you - perhaps you are reading this at work, at home, at an internet cafe…what is the “state” of your life? How does it look from the outside? Would a woman be excited on entering this life? Would her world become larger or smaller?
Also, look at it from the inside-out - how does it feel to you? Are you content? Happy? Or, is there a deep-seated, nagging aingst that “this is not me”.
If so, that’s the NORM man. In order to really change your life, you have to start by changing your inner REALITY first. And, it doesn’t require you to now purchase 18 inner game programs (spare me…). All this requires is that you do 2 things:
a) Believe, again (as you did when you were younger), that anything is possible and;
b) Question everything
Question every “structure” or decision that exists in your life and your world. Every pattern needs to be examined. Are you consistently attracting women that don’t REALLY turn you on? This is a common symptom that a guy struggles in this. His reality is limited, and in order for that guy to find real love and lasting attraction, that reality has to change.
“It’s wrong to want to have sex with a girl”
Again, says who? I want to toss a little idea out there, a little diagnosis (if you will):
SEXUAL SHAME
Every guy I meet has this problem. Here’s how it tends to work:
He feels he wants to have sex with a woman, it’s an animal instinct that he can’t control. He acts out on this in private (usually) with porn, or chronic masturbation.
Once he senses this feeling, something goes haywire and he suddenly feels ashamed and embarrassed. It’s some strange way that religion has corrosively impacted the “American male” - he’s AFRAID he’s going to violate some existential feminist/protestant doctrine by simply being OK with his own sexuality.
Ever go to Europe? If not, you should. Or, go to South America. You’ll see exactly what I mean if you go “out” in any of these environments. Go to the beach and see how the men dress and how they behave towards women. Go to the clubs there. It’s VERY different.
A former date of mine, a girl from Georgia (the country) used to say it best: “American men are boring, and they are terrible in bed”.
She was right.
“I am fatally flawed and will never truly get what I want in dating, and in life”
Aaah yes, the final apocalypse. The guy realizes that he sucks with women, and then his negativity finally takes over his entire life by convincing him that NOTHING is attainable.
There’s something scary here…and this is very very disturbing in my opinion.
Most guys are PISSED OFF.
Ever go to a lair meeting? It’s the angriest gathering of men you’ve ever seen. You can feel the hostility when you enter the room - it’s literally scary, as if someone might go postal.
Know what else? They SHOULD be pissed off. The amount of negativity they haul through their life would piss off the Dalai Lama for heaven’s sake.
BUT, they are pissed off in the WRONG way.
Dude, it is not society that is shrinking you. It’s not women, mommy, daddy, the church, the press, the “community” - No. It’s YOU.
Why do you think Barry’s show is so popular? Why? It’s because most guys are PISSED off and HE is the only one putting words around it.
Dude - you should be pissed off. You should be angry that you suck with women, and that you aren’t happy. Absolutely - be PISSED.
BUT, take responsibility. OWN IT, in other words. Stop blaming everything outside yourself for your lack of power (because power is what you lack, I don’t care how “special” your problem is…POWER is what you need) and take responsibility for it.
You are the one STILL believing the hype, the negativity, and are still the one doing NOTHING about it.
Think learning “what to say” is the answer? NOPE. Sure, it will help, and is probably valuable, but it isn’t going to remedy your pain my man.
Only when you can take full responsibility for yourself, and your life, will you start to see some improvement. This is the only way to marshall all of the reserves to fully oppose the negativity and inertia in your life. If there are ANY strings attached to your past or present blaming something outside of yourself for ANY problem you have, you will KEEP that problem.
So, be PISSED, but OWN it and work thru it in the right way. There are no fatal flaws (just look at Sean Stephenson if you don’t believe me) - that’s a mind fuck you’re telling yourself because it keeps you SAFE and enables you to keep being LAZY.
Which leads me to my final conclusion.
A remedy, let’s call it:
TAKE responsibility, STOP being safe, get ACTIVE and get a REAL LIFE.
That’s it. No need for the next, latest and greatest algorithm on attracting women, no need to buy the next “cutting edge” game program released by some guy with a REALLY weird name, no need to spend thousands on some lame seminar that will NOT HELP YOU. (All you need are a few, like 3 or LESS, programs and/or ebooks to get the info you need man - anything more makes you a “junkie”)
What will help you? I’ll repeat it: TAKE responsibility, STOP being safe, get ACTIVE and get a REAL LIFE.
Eventually, that is what you are going to have to do.
I got an email from a former client recently, named Ted. He told me that he had two weeks of vacation left in the year, and asked if he should either: “go to New York to sarge with some friends the whole time, or go to Kenya and climb Mt. Kilimanjaro”.
Is that a real question?
The last point I’ll make is this…and I am not sure who is to blame for this (each of us, probably), but since when was it a good idea to “sarge” for a week instead of taking on a life-changing experience?
Who actually advocates that? Where does this idea originate?
Perhaps it’s just the result of many men with low-self esteem and atrociously-negative self-images colliding with a market that is literally crazed for the next, greatest program that will “change your life”, and “7 days and you can solve this problem once-and-for-all!”.
No one can solve it for you. Sure, we can help - a few of us can (many cannot, buyer beware). But, no one has the answer, no one can pull you out of the hole. Only you can. The answer is you.
My reply to Ted, and my newest mantra for any guy within earshot?
“Climb Mt Kilimanjaro.”
And have fun building a unique and individual life.
So, for your convenience, here are the 11 Rules/Tenets of the “Natural” & I need a 12th.
1) No Sarging - I do what I want, and meet women on the way;
2) I am open to trying and exploring new and interesting things always leaning into my “comfort zone”;
3) If I see a woman I want to meet, I meet her;
4) I am the “Go 2 Guy” of my social circle, always knowing what’s “going on” in the community and leading my social circle into new & fascinating experiences;
5) The mantra of my social circle - “Invite Someone That No One Else Knows”;
6) I am always leading/screening as I have standards for whom I will date and who gets “in” my social circle;
7) I never ask questions of a woman until she asks them of me FIRST;
8) A First date - is always into my world…;
9) I never end a date with a kiss. If I want to kiss a woman, I structure a time for the middle of the date. Rules like this are made to be broken;
10) I am always a gentleman, and I treat people with respect (and expect my friends & women to do so too);
11) I am never average, I am never ordinary.
Come up with your *best* suggestions for #12, and fill them in below in the comments section for this post, OK?
No, I’m not talking about the “full monty” on the first date.
Haha - just writing “full monty” makes me remember Mystery - as that is what he always called the close.
No, what I want to quickly write here on a rainy NY Monday is all about How To Have An AWESOME First Date…
Someone recently posted on my How To Get A Girlfriend Squidoo Page that they’d like more date ideas.
It’s hard to really know why it is that so many of us struggle with coming up with original and interesting ideas for activities and locations for where to take women for a night out. How many guys out there have consistently fallen back on the “Dinner & a Movie” idea?
Probably most, if not ALL of you.
So, what I wanted to do with this post was to give you one of my favorite date ideas, break down why it is so very good, and then toss the ball to the guys reading the blog out there for your ideas - as I am sure some of you have developed good ones yourself.
This fine machine that I work with here at How To Get A Girlfriend headquarters..aka, this computer has been in “the shop” since Tuesday afternoon.
Something about a power supply.
So, I’m late.
But better late than never, right?
Here’s Part II, where I outline some answers to this troubling phenomenon of “one-itis” or becoming obsessed with that “One Special Girl”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
If you currently find yourself in this situation, you have my heart-felt sympathies friend. This is no easy spot you find yourself in, and my plan is no guarantee for you to “get the girl”.
In fact, everything I am about to tell you may seem completely counter-intuitive.
But, if you can do these few things, I assure you that you will regain your balance and POWER and see this much differently.
First of all, let’s focus on this word “POWER” for a minute, OK?
If you are in a situation where the thoughts in your mind predominate around one area in your life (a girl, in this case) then that particular area has POWER over you.
Here’s a bit of social/relationship math for you, OK?
• Too much power given to a woman PUSHES/REPELS her away from you
• Balanced power in all areas of life ATTRACTS the right women to you
• Too little power given to women ATTRACTS the wrong women to you
Interesting, isn’t it.
Those three little statements I just made cost me 10 years of my life man.
I learned those the HARD way, but I am grateful to know this now and pass it along to you.
If you are a guy who is currently obsessed with a woman, here’s my hunch – she’s not really into you.
She might think you’re nice, fun, cool, smart & interesting. But, she doesn’t find you attractive enough to form a relationship with you.
Women who are attracted to men, return their calls, they make time to see them, and they even initiate contact regularly.
If by chance she IS into you and just playing hard to get, pushing her is going to repel her away from you.
For now, here’s what you’ve got to do:
1) STOP calling her (Now)
2) STOP stalking her (Now - cyber, in person, or otherwise)
3) ASAP – meet more women (approaches, parties, internet…all if possible)
4) In 10 days, INVITE “her” to do something with you and your friends
5) START using real social skills to attract her
The above structure is a way to turn “her” into a friend, and to do it FAST, OK?
It’s a bit sneaky, I admit. But, if you’re so obsessed with a girl that you can’t sleep and if she’s not giving you clear-cut signs that she wants to see you (like, returning your calls, calling you first, creating opportunities to see you, replying to your emails, spending time with you, kissing you, inviting you “upstairs” to meet her dog Maggie…etc) then you need to re-balance this relationship.
In fact, this is not really a relationship at all, is it?
Nope…it’s what I lovingly call a “situationship”.
So, your first goal is to IMMEDIATELY re-balance this situationship.
The way to do that is to reclaim your power by STOPPING bad behavior.
Withdraw the excess of energy you are giving this, and stop calling/stalking/emailing her NOW.
Don’t ever do this again, OK?
I know of a friend who changed all of his passwords and asked his mother to recreate them and keep them from him just so he couldn’t cyber-stalk an ex-girlfriend.
You may not have to take such drastic measures – but do whatever it takes, because obsessive behavior and thinking around a woman 99.99% of the time insures that you WILL NOT GET HER.
Here’s another point that I must make. Usually, we obsess over women who are subtly and indirectly communicating DISinterest to us.
Mixed signals are the cause of obsession and anxiety – lack of clarity is the issue here. If she was interested, you would know it.
She’s just not that into you…in other words. And if she is, by doing the 5 steps I outline above, you will reconnect with her in a healthy way.
If she isn’t…by all means, CUT YOUR LOSSES, OK?
Our minds spin out of control and into obsessive and unhealthy behavior usually when the woman is unavailable.
In my case above, Ariella was giving me indirect signals that she was not available for what I wanted.
Because I was so emotionally wrapped up in it though, I was not able to see it.
Sure, it’s easy to blame her for not being clear and direct, but MOST people handle things in this way.
In order to move past this, you have to OWN your end of it…which is that you didn’t read some pretty obvious signals that she’s not interested in you.
OK – so we’re clear – STOP doing things that are hurting you and STOP RIGHT NOW.
Next, we’ve got to talk a little bit about a word that I am sure will connect with you.
This word changed my life, and that is not an over-hyped marketing statement either, that’s the truth.
The word is:
Scarcity.
If you are obsessed and consumed with ONE woman…you are living in a female scarce world, and you need to change that ASAP.
It is NORMAL for healthy men to want women (if you’re heterosexual that is).
Your impulses towards intimacy, sex and relationship are healthy and right.
What you need is VARIETY – the “anti-scarcity”.
Without some variety, you won’t truly know and appreciate what is out there and may “settle” for a woman that is not truly right for you (if you are lucky).
Long-term, healthy relationships require experience. You’ve got to know the market, in other words, so that you make a healthy, informed choice.
See that?
Scarcity is the enemy of CHOICE.
If you’re panicked and obsessed over “ONE”, then you’ve lost your right to choose and that has to be fixed if you want a successful relationship.
This leads me to point #3 – MEET MORE WOMEN.
Reminds me of one of my favorite movies. Ever see “Fandango”?
It’s from the ‘80s and stars Kevin Costner and Judd Nelson – it’s a great guy flick, and tells the story of a wild road trip taken by some friends right out of college.
Kevin Costner plays a swashbuckling sort of guy, who is a real ladies man.
Well, he’s lamenting a past love with a buddy, and throws down this GEM of a phrase for us:
“The only way to get over a girl, is to go out and get yourself another one”
Makes sense, right? In our case, it makes a LOT of sense.
Guys who suffer from the scarcity mentality have to get their social lives up to speed and get more dates, and more options of women.
This may be the most important point I make in this report – if you want to cultivate true power with women and dating, you’re going to need to meet MORE of them.
I’ll get into this more a bit later, but just know that having more options/choices in your dating life is crucial. And that the next time you’re in this pickle, you’re going to want to meet some new women ASAP.
I’ll cover the three ways to meet more women a bit later in this report though as it’s a very involved topic, and I don’t want to scatter our focus here, OK?
Now, you’re going to need to give this some TIME.
TIME and PATIENCE are now your friends with “her”.
I usually give it around 10 days, and I suggest only now communicating with her in mass emails – nothing direct or personal at this point. Otherwise, she seems too special.
Ever hear of this acronym – LJBF?
Lets Just Be Friends
This is what you’re doing with step #4. You are communicating to her that you’ve moved her into the “friend” column.
In about 10 days you’ll want to organize something with your social circle. A great idea is to discover a cool brunch place, and set something up for Sunday at 1pm.
Brunch is so great because people are more likely to have plans in the evening than they are on a Sunday afternoon. So, this way you will get more “yes” replies.
On a Wednesday send a note to your “list” (with “her” in the cc category like the rest of your friends) inviting everyone to the brunch you’re organizing.
Now, there is no guaranteeing that she will come along. But, if you continue to “lead” your social circle by organizing cool, interesting outings she will eventually come along.
Plus, now that she’s your friend, you’re allowed to treat her like you would any other friend. This is why it’s fine to “cc” her on a mass email.
The ONLY time you have personal involvement with her right now is if she contacts/replies to you. And, even these communiqués need to be quick and without fanfare, much like you would send to a friend.
This is how you reclaim your power here, and eliminate the “one-itis” you’re currently experiencing.
Also, this plan rearranges your “situationship” with her so that she is still in your circle but so that YOU are now in charge (aka: having reclaimed your power).
This will also give the two of you a much less pressured way to get to know each other and see if you are really right for each other.
This is precisely why people tend to fall in love with others via their social circle. So, if you are in a “one-itis” situation, add her into your social circle so that the two of you can have a more balanced way to get to know each other.
Now, this doesn’t guarantee that you’ll “get the girl”. This plan essentially presses the “reset” button with you and her which is you only shot at this point. For, if you are in an obsessed state, you are way past the point of “maybe”.
The final piece to this is to attract her using GOOD social skills.
• You need to be the true LEADER of your social circle
• You need to flirt/tease with her in a way that doesn’t embarrass her, but that does enhance sexual tension
• You need to bait her into chasing you
• You need to capture and lead her imagination by using storytelling
• You need to emphasize the strong connections that exist between you
• You need to present yourself with a “look” that is both contemporary and cool
• You need to understand what is naturally attractive to women, and what is not – then you need to start DOING and BEING attractive and stop DOING and BEING unattractive
• Ultimately, you need to meet more women as my hunch is that “she” is not the one for you…
Meeting more women, learning how to attract them, and living a life that naturally brings THE RIGHT women for relationships is THE teaching I convey in “How To Get A Girlfriend” and I think you owe it to yourself to check it out.
If you’ve read this article, then don’t you think you owe it to yourself to focus a bit on this challenge called “WOMEN” and get it handled?
My opinion only: if you keep relying on just YOU and YOU alone to handle it, I bet your results don’t change. You can’t get out of the woods with the map that got you there in the first place.
The solution: some NEW information, which is precisely the purpose of my ebook.
So, I sure hope you got something out of these two posts here.
My goal with CEIC is to reduce your pain and help you improve and expand the pleasures of women in your life.
EVERY guy deserves healthy and pleasurable relationships with women, and eventually an awesome girlfriend.
If you’re hung-up on one woman, and she isn’t your girlfriend or wife, then it’s time to assess the health of your dating and social life…
One thing I did not cover in my ebook, “How To Get A Girlfriend” was what to do in that special circumstance where you get hung up on her to the point where you’re obsessed, a bit unfocused, and perhaps even slightly (or more) crazy.
I want to tell you a brief story now - indulge me for a moment before I outline my steps for handling this scenario.
Here’s a rather long, but important, question for you:
Ever been hung up on ONE girl, to the point where you possibly lost sleep, focus, perhaps made ridiculous phone calls to her, stalked her (or cyber-stalked her…a new, scary phenomenon), begged her, shed tears for her…and otherwise lost a huge amount of time effort and energy to the cause of getting her?
(long sentence, I know…bare with me here)
Well, I have been in this position before. This was years ago, way before I ever realized I needed help with women, dating and relationships. Aeons before I learned how to get a girlfriend, and fell in love (which is my situation today…so, I’ve come full circle - in case you were wondering).
I was walking home one night, and met a woman near my apartment - she was walking her dog. I think she asked me for directions - yes, that’s right, she asked me for directions.
So, we began chatting and we eventually swapped numbers. A week later we went out on a date, strolled back to her place, got a bit intimate and said good night. We washed/rinsed/repeated that a few times, and all was good and fun.
Big point to make here is this: All my eggs were in one basket…HER basket - I had no other options, and hadn’t had a cute girl in my life in some time. I think it had been nearly a year possibly since I had even kissed a girl.
I left town on a business trip for 3 weeks, and when I returned - something had changed.
We were set up for a date, and I was all ready to go when the phone rang. It was her cancelling. A sinking feeling set-in.
“Something’s Up”, I thought
She had said she’d call back to arrange another time, but days now started to pass with no call from her.
S-T-R-E-S-S sets in & my sleep started to suffer.
I decide to call her.
Seems a good decision, right?
Here are the stories I was telling myself:
“Aah, maybe she’s busy at work and hasn’t had a chance to call me” (NEVER happens…when someone wants to call someone, they make time for it)
“Maybe something horrible happened” (Maybe it did, but even then, if she was really interested, she would call)
“My answering machine is broken” (But, I was getting messages from other people)
“Maybe, just maybe, I was supposed to call HER” (She had been clear, and this was a blatant rationalization, as I was looking for anything that would help me FEEL BETTER NOW!)
So, I called her.
Are you close to cringing yet? Don’t worry…this gets worse.
She nervously played it off as “being busy”, “things got away from me”, “oh, this case is so overwhelming (she worked for the DA)”…somewhere in my body though, my heart was sinking…
“Let’s get together this weekend”, said I
“Uh, OK…um, well, can we talk later in the week so I’ll know if I’m free?”, she blustered
“Sure, I’ll call you on Wednesday” (it was Sunday), I replied
“OK Stephen…I’ll talk to you then”, she said and then quickly got off the phone
As soon as I hung up, a feeling of relief swept over me - I had done it! We had a date coming-up and all was well!
It was good to hear her voice, I recall thinking. Again, I had so few women in my life, that just hearing her voice made me smile.
And then, 10 minutes later, it all changed. Suddenly, a feeling of suspicion began to grow inside of me. Part of me knew that something wasn’t quite right here. My feeling of trust had been broken by her, as she had flaked once by now. Was she doing that again?
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday….each night worse than the previous. I would awaken with a gasp, and then stress would set-in. The stress of desperately needing to control a situation that is immensely uncontrollable.
Work each day would be difficult - I had no ability to focus - NONE. I would take breaks, I would try to eat, I would drink lots of coffee.
An annoying habit began to kick-in…I began to “confide in my friends about the situation” - because, I needed advice.
Within a day, everyone was hearing about it - and everyone gave me different advice.
“Dude, you have to tell her how you FEEL” (guy)
“Just lay back, she’ll call you - I know it” (guy)
“Haha, man Stephen, don’t ask me - I’m just as clueless as you are” (guy)
“Call her, and just leave her a groovy message man, and DON’T ask her out…” (guy)
“How wonderful! You’re in love with someone! I just know it will work out - what is her name?” (girl)
Each person’s tip would inspire me, give me hope and confidence for just as long as they would talk. I could be carried away by their emotion and optimism, but as soon as they were gone, I would sink back into even greater confusion and anxiety than before.
So, as you can probably imagine, Wednesday came and I was relieved. At around 8pm that night, I worked up the nerve to call her. I was REALLY nervous. I had decided that I would just go with the plan of firming up plans for the weekend. To do anything else would be out of the ordinary here, and perhaps I was “overreacting”.
I call - no answer - into voice-mail - I hang up
Shit.
I should have left a voice mail! Damn, now if I call again, will she know that I double-rang her??
More stress sets in.
I call again - again, no answer - into voice-mail - nervous, shaky, stammering message - I hang up
Shit.
Double Shit.
I try to distract myself by watching some TV, but I can only think about the LAME message I just left on her voice mail.
An hour or so passes, the phone rings.
My heart jumps - “maybe it’s her!”
Nope - a call for my roommate. Some guy named Darryl, who calls everyday to talk about some “website project”.
Get a life Darryl.
I go back to the TV and begin obsessing again. I pull apart my message in my mind, trying desperately to figure out how she will receive it once she does hear it.
It’s now time for bed, and I try to sleep. I can’t do it. When my alarm rings in the morning, I’ve had maybe a few hours.
My eyes and body start to show a bit of fatigue at work.
“Stephen, are you OK? You seem a bit tired” (they say)
“Yeah, maybe a bit”
Being that this was before I had a cellphone, I am now checking my home voicemail VERY often. I recall that before my trip away, I had checked my voicemail from work and had received messages from her.
“Maybe that’s how it works?” I think
“Maybe, God will only send me a voicemail from her when I’m not obsessing about it”
Every hour (or more) I phone home to check voicemail…no messages. NONE whatsoever. I crave the sound of “Debbie, the voicemail lady” to say the following:
“You have ONE new voice message - to hear your message press ONE”
All I want is ONE Debbie. I could hear her voice in my head before I’d call.
The weekend passed, less sleep, more stress, less eating, more obsessing….
Monday, Tuesday…and now, Wednesday again.
Strangely, I started to feel better early in the week - as if, something was lightening up in me…but, once I decided to call again on Wednesday - it returned.
All I needed was to stare at the phone with a small ounce of desire, and the itch was back on me like the hives.
I called her again….and again, into voice mail. I left a quick message:
“Hey, it’s Stephen. Hadn’t heard from you so wanted to check-in and say Hi. I hope nothing is wrong, and that alls well. Give me a ring so we can hang out soon. Bye”
“check-in”
“alls well”
Catch phrases for…CALL ME PLEASE I AM DYING OVER HERE.
I felt a bit relieved by now. I had done what I could do, and now I could let this go.
I decided to go for a walk at this point to “clear my head” - something very satisfying about taking an action, and knowing that you’ve done what you can.
I return and notice the message light blinking. My heart leaps into my throat as I press the red “PLAY” button.
“Hey Stephen, it’s Ariella. Sorry I haven’t been in touch. Give me a call when you get this, so we can talk. Bye”
NICE! It’s ON!! Or, so I think…
I call her now. And she answers. After the usual pleasantries…she drops the bomb:
“So, you should know that me and my ex have started hanging out again…it’s not too serious yet, but that’s probably why I haven’t been so responsive”
My face fills with blush. I’m flustered. My mouth and throat tighten. I grow dizzy.
“Oh, OK, yeah, I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from you”
“Yeah, sorry about that, I should have told you…but, you know”
“Oh sure…yeah…well, OK”
“So, I should go - but I’ll talk to you soon, OK?”
“Great, OK - Bye”
“Bye”
I sit down.
What just happened? My heart was aching….my brain was cycling like never before. Where my brain heard opportunity and an opening, my heart felt closure and an “overness” like never before. They began to fight.
My brain won.
“I’ll talk to you soon” it repeated to me
She never said they were “back together” it said
She never said “don’t call me” it said
And again, she said “I’ll talk to you soon” - dude, it’s ON!
I went to sleep, barely with my mind racing a mile/minute convincing me that it was ON…and then, it was OVER…ON…OVER…ON….OVER
UGH.
I began stalking her.
Now, when I say “stalking” I don’t mean that I’d crouch in the bushes by her house - no. But, I would stroll past her apartment building 2-3 times per day when it was totally inconvenient for me to do so. I would go WAY out of my way to hopefully “run into her” spontaneously. I would call her sporadically hoping that she would answer…only to have her voicemail pick-up and never leave a message.
One night, the worst of the worst happened.
During one of my “strolls”, I saw her and him going into the apartment. They didn’t see me, but I saw them. Care to guess what he looked like?
A total stud…
He had me by three inches in height, looked way cooler than me, probably worked out 4 times a DAY, and she was staring at him adoringly…
I walked away. I walked home. And then, it happened…
I began to cry.
I am very serious about this.
You see, when you have a fantasy relationship with someone, and then you see them in REALITY with someone ELSE…it’s a heart-breaker. It’s devastating. It’s a crushing blow.
Now, not only did I get to stress out about her, but now I had images of her with HIM to boot.
This was not getting better.
I stopped sleeping. My work suffered. People began to be “concerned” for me.
One day at work, I decided to go for broke.
You see, when we’re obsessed with that “one special girl”, we usually have one of three options:
1) The Stalking Method (tried it, and failed at it)
2) The Call and Leave/Dont Leave Voice Messages Method (tried it, and failed at it)
3) The BEG AND PLEAD Method (my final option…and, oh yeah, I was about to USE it)
Late one night, I called 411 and found the general number for her office. I phoned it, and was able to deduce her direct dial work number.
I decided that tomorrow - I was going for broke, and I was going to end this once and for all - she was either going to see me, or it’s OVER.
(of course, she had been giving me signals left and right that it was over for some time now…signals that I was not receiving - so, for her it was OVER already)
I called her after lunch. Surprisingly, I ate a lot. Something in me had relaxed knowing that I was about to take ownership over this situation once and for all.
At 3pm, I headed downstairs to the basement to use a private land line. I was going for broke.
I called, she answered, and for the next 20 minutes I pulled out every trick, stop, gimmick, and sappy plead that I could muster. I even told her I loved her. I was the romantic, I was the “alpha male”, I was a poet, I was funny, I was everything I had ever wanted to be…and then, it was over.
She told me she was back with “him” and that she really “liked” me, but that she had to focus on her relationship now.
“You’re a great guy Stephen, but I’m looking to get married and I think he’s the one for me. Can we be friends though?”
“Sure”…
We said our good-bye’s, and just like that - it was over.
10 weeks of hell, sweat, tears, stress and sleepless nights were over…that night, I feel right to sleep and woke up a new man the next day.
********************************
I gotta tell you, just rehashing that story fills me with both pain and pride.
Pain because I can still feel some of those memories in my body…
Pride because I’ve come a LONG way since then - and that phenomenon doesn’t happen to me anymore.
I want to tell you now how to both HANDLE this situation and how to work your social life so that this won’t HAPPEN to you again.
Tune in Wednesday for the rest of this article…promise guys, the rest of this will be up by 12noon eastern
Got an interesting mailbag the other day, and thought to convert it into an article, as it highlights some principles I enjoy teaching.
Now, let me preface this discussion by saying this – the GOAL (in some respects) of getting GOOD with women is to never hear the following phrase:
“Let’s Just Be Friends…”
Makes me gag just to type it.
BUT – there are times when it happens…and there is very little we can do about it.
Very little? So, that means there is something we CAN do about it?
YES.
I’ll let my friend Gene pose his question/experience…and I’ll be back in just a moment with some feedback.
“I had a question from a dating experience I had over the last month I wanted to ask you about.
My query relates to whether I should pursue a “friendship” with a girl had dated a couple of times (4) but thinks went pear shaped b/c of a combination of me coming across too keen on our last date (by giving her a gift and paying for an expensive dinner etc) and her being a bit sick and “bitchy” for whatever reason throughout the night. We have caught up once since and she was fine but was acting as a friend and said she would be happy to do stuff “as a friend” and “take things slowly”. She hasn’t initiated any contact on her own behalf since. I have downloaded your e-book “How To Get A Girlfriend” and I know you say that sometimes it is good to be friends with women where things don’t work out so that you can meet her circle of friends etc. I am wondering whether this is such a case or whether I should just move on and meet other women. I have been on a few other dates since but the girls haven’t really interested me so I haven’t taken it further.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks,
Gene”
Gene –
Good question (Pear-shaped? Can anyone explain?).
Here’s what I would do:
1) Definitely date other women
…that’s a no brainer for sure.
This way, you get your mind off of her and begin to see the other options that are out there. This automatically helps you reclaim some power that this other girl now holds over you.
Waiting for her in ANY form is destructive to your self-esteem. When things are “right” for a relationship, nothing can keep the two of you apart, and after four dates it is “legal” for both parties to call each other with no prompting.
So, we can safely assume here that “friends” is the road…and that there is no other for now.
However, being friends with women is a GOOD thing…
It gives you a woman that is now in your social circle with whom you can socialize…making it easier to meet OTHER women (her friends, for example).
2) Begin to “lead” your social circle (re-read that part of the ebook)
So, organize outings; explore a new neighborhood; check out a new restaurant/venue; do something off-beat, cultural or otherwise adventurous…all with your “crew”.
Be sure to invite the girl in question. Just put her in the rotation of friends you ask to do stuff with.
What happens here is that she begins to see that you are serious about being “friends” and that you aren’t needy for her attention.
This will help deflate whatever bad/wierd feelings remain from the old dating scenario and will help you two “start over”, so to speak…
If there is any real chemistry/connection there, that will take over and something natural can then happen.
I’ve seen plenty of examples where a guy just laid back and opened himself to the “friends” scenario…and guess what? Once he relaxed, she got INTERESTED.
One nice thing about leading your social circle is that by being in the eye of the storm, you become the “high value” person in the group.
If a single woman is along, you instantly become the best option.
Oh, and if there are new women along…they will subconsciously seek your approval when in the pilot position. They’ll be looking to be accepted by the group, and it’s your opinion that matters.
Feel free to bring new women that you are dating along on the outing. A little jealousy plotline never hurts, and it shows her that you’ve truly moved on.
Plus, she might have some cool female friends to bring along…a great way to meet new women.
Clear?
Oh, and one VERY important final word…
Never ever ever give a gift or pay for an expensive meal with a woman that you aren’t SERIOUSLY involved with (you’ve had sex, for example).
Otherwise, it comes across as needy & insecure…let that be clear to everyone reading this.
Wanted to get you guys thinking about meeting women in a new way today. Social skills, and active social approaches are all good. But, the passive work of building a personal style…and more importantly…a confident, social VIBE is much more important.
A balanced, holistic approach to meeting and dating was the precise reason that I wrote, rewrote and rewrote again my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend”.
What I am talking about here all leads to a more empowering, more attractive first impression.
I was recently out with some female friends of mine here in New York City. We were mostly talking about dating and socializing (for some reason, conversations seem to end up on that topic when I am around - haha).
One of my closer friends, let’s call her Amy, was talking about a guy she recently met at a party. Seems innocent enough, right? Well, what she disclosed to me in the next three minutes was like getting more than just a peek behind the veil. I was totally shocked at what she told me.
Before I delve into what her mental processes were, let me remind you - with women, you NEVER get a second chance at a first impression. I find that men tend to reserve judgment for a few moments before arriving at an opinion of a person.
Women, however, tend to form this is a matter of SECONDS. So, if you don’t have your look, vibe & life HANDLED, you are destined for the bottom feeding extravaganza known as sarging, and spending time with GUYS who like to talk about (but never actually DATE) attractive and interesting women.
Women have developed a system of sensitivity over the years that we can NOT relate to. They have a “Creep Meter” (now known forever as CM) that is designed to protect them from predatory, disingenuous posers who masquerade as having their shit together when in reality they are arrogantly assuming that it is OK to play in the “land of make believe”. And, just so we all know, what is small subset of these ne’er-do-wells?
- PUAs (aka, pick-up artists)
- Players
- Serial daters
- Nicely dressed dudes, pockets filled with “things to say” only seeking sexual fulfillment (aka, pick-up artists)
Hopefully this will be a bit repetitive to you who consistently read this blog, but the above subset only attracts its reciprocal – meaning, dimly lit hotties or player girls…which is why they are all chronically single, and mostly spend time with members of their OWN sex. Pretenders attract pretenders…the CM is much too high for women with a reasonably high IQ.
You should be suspicious of the “women experts” out there whose entourage consists of lapdog boys vaguely dressed as the guru…and who “just broke up with their girlfriend”
So, back to my story…what I did was ask her to put her thoughts into WORDS (in an email) so I could directly reproduce it here with no editorializing on my part. Here is the precise mental process of Amy:
First, I noticed his body language – it was like he was subtly leading with his dick. The guy had his head slightly tilted back, like an arrogant snob or something. I felt like he was looking down on me. I then quickly read his tone, it was tense – like he had something to hide. It was too high-pitched for his “too big” posture. I never trust a guy with tense vocal chords, I don’t really know why either. Then, I noticed he was wearing a necklace, and when I asked him about it he had NO idea that the icon in it was in fact an Asian fertility symbol – what a poser! His shirt collar had ring around the collar – how tacky is that! Next, his belt buckle was WAY over the top – classic try hard. I hate it when guys overcompensate for their lack of personality with flash and glitz. He had a slight unibrow, which is often not a huge issue for me, but combined with everything else, made it yet another piece of evidence. His fingernails were all dirty – which is completely inexcusable – and his shoes did not match his clothing. You know, all of this may seem small, and petty. But, I gotta say, all of these small things were completely congruent with his VIBE – there was something about him which was like a real estate salesman who wouldn’t take you into the basement cause he knew it was flooded. I can’t put my finger on it, but he was just CREEPY.
That’s the best I can do!
Amy.
Flabbergasting. I mean, what’s a guy to do with all of this analysis going on?? Is there any hope for us? At first, I thought that Amy might be the problem. But all of the other women at the table completely AGREED.
What I later learned was that many of these small things are not a big deal if the VIBE seems cool and trustworthy. A woman is willing to overlook a zit, or a dirty fingernail, if the overall picture is together.
So, how do you know if the overall picture is together? My advice – LOOK AROUND YOU. Are there women in your world? Do you have female friends in your life? If not, you might be setting off CM’s when you meet women.
Women WANT to meet and date cool guys who have REAL lives. If you are not dating interesting, attractive women – you are probably creeping them out.
You can dress this up as much as you want, you can learn all the gimmicks you can get your hands on, you can even model the VERY BEST in the world…and still be single, horny, desperate…and alone.
Hell, at the end of Project Hollywood, we, the so-called BEST, were ALL single. What a joke right! There were guys there teaching men how to pick-up girls who hadn’t been kissed in MONTHS.
The message here is – GET A LIFE…and get a REAL one. That is the ONLY way to meet women. And, as you get that life, LEARN social skills the hard way – by practicing. Guys who set off the CM’s of the world are unsocialized, and are unwilling to practice in order to normalize their behavior around women.
The whole reason I wrote “How To Get A Girlfriend” was to put a system into place that would help develop a guy’s social skills so that he could approach and attract the women he desires. But, also, to provide a way for a guy to fix his internal self-image and have that align with his Look and Vibe.
Frankly, that is the best and most complete way to “up” your success with women man.
If you have, then you are in the majority of those employed in this world. Seriously.
My parents met on a job. Years ago, my mom was hired at a Symphony in NC and they had organized a “welcome” drink for her after work. Well, only one person showed up - and he became my dad.
So, it would silly for me to say that we shouldn’t date at the workplace. But, I do think a very passive stance is necessary.
Just not as passive as Jim on “The Office” - right? Pam gave him IOI’s for YEARS it seems…
Anyway, on to this week’s mailbag question:
There was this new manager that joined our organization 2 months back. She’s easily a 7.5 on 10, and naturally attracted attention of all including our boss. She being my colleague got close to me and I had to be friendly to her and help her settle in as I was instructed by my boss to do so. Besides, before you, I had read only stuff from David DeAngelo and he’s not very upbeat about dating women from workplace. However, I admit its been extremely difficult to do so. Therefore, I have kept up my act on teasing her, although I have been unable to bust hard on her due to the circumstances surrounding me.
While I have been restrictive in my approach, on the other hand, my boss also seems to be reading similar materials (or perhaps it comes naturally to him). He busts on her, teases her, calls her a brat/kiddo. He gets the right mix of arrogance and funny in his demeanor. Being the boss, he obviously is rich too!
Now, where I connect your newsletter to this situation is that the boss I am mentioning here, is a smart, young man. He is passionate about his work and has is very ambitious and his performance speaks for himself. We can see the purpose of life in him as he has accumulated a lot of wealth in such a young age. According to your newsletter, men with passion and direction are magnets for women.
My question is that: No matter what I do, it will be difficult to match our boss’ personality (that I mentioned above). In your opinion, you think it’s worth competing or is it better to forfeit and move on?
Once again, I think your insights are very helpful and I would appreciate a response to my question.
Signed,
PC
Yo PC -
Thanks for your note. I really think there are TWO issues here for you to consider.
1) Dating in the workplace…how to do it in your situation, &
2) What is your purpose?
I’d be very laid back about this situation at work my friend. I have a hunch that the boss is being the boss here, as it is more inappropriate for a boss to go after staff than it is for staff to go after staff. But definitely stay out of trouble (if you want to keep your job) and don’t go into head to head competition with him ON COMPANY SOIL…OK?
Here’s what you do:
You might begin by organizing “drinks after work” with a number of people (not inviting the boss, of course) and be sure to invite the girl (duh). Outside of the work environment, talk to her, flirt with her, get to know her - and then see if there is any real chemistry. If so, feel free then to ask her out to do something with you, and only you, later on.
You see, the energy with a NEW employee is often very open and friendly as they are seeking acceptance into the workplace. So, give it some time too before you ask her out so you can learn more and more about your REAL chemistry.
Also, be sure to invite her to something you are already going to. You have to work gradually here. In other words, don’t ask her out on “a date”. But, tell her you’re going to a gallery opening/see a friend in a band/see some free lecture on global warming…whatever - and then invite her along.
If you spend time together, you will eventually learn of each other’s interests etc. If you have something in common, center your invite around this common interest. Then, it makes total sense for you to invite her to this.
Got that?
In summary - be cool, lay back, and play this one very passively. But, don’t be paralyzed either. Just do your thing smoothly…really important.
And, if you find out she slept with the boss last Friday night - MOVE ON!
Make sense?
To your second point, what exactly is your purpose? It is not necessary that it directly relate to work, per se. But, it does need to be identified. What is it? Do you know?
Once you do, you will notice a very profound shift in energy - in each and every social situation. Women will notice, trust me. In your case, again, it doesn’t necessarily need to be directly related to your JOB. What is important is that you discover it, and OWN it.
The differences between men and women are rarely more apparent then when it comes to shopping for clothing. Women relish in the experience while guys can’t wait for it to end. The whole process of trying on sizes, picking colors, and walking around the store is detested by most men.
Usually they will buy on impulse, to hasten their exit from the store. The result is a poorly assembled wardrobe.
Ten years ago guys didn’t have any other option than to go through the process described above. Luckily, this isn’t the case today. With the internet, there are MANY options for every level of shopper; whether they are looking for bargains, luxury items, or luxury items for a bargain.
The sole caveat to shopping on the internet is that you need to know your size. Most sites that sell clothing have detailed sizing charts you can use to see if a particular item will fit.
To best know your size, go to a local tailor shop and have them measure you. Be thorough; the most important is your chest, waist, hips, arms, neck, and inseam. You can later match these up to the size scales on the web.
Almost every label you can buy at the mall or in a department store is now online. J. Crew, Banana Republic, L.L. Bean, Ralph Lauren and Nike are all easily available on their own websites.
Each has a liberal return policy also, so no need to worry about getting stuck with items that don’t fit.
Otherwise, the internet is great for getting luxury apparel at bargain basement prices.
Do a search on eBay for Kiton or Borrelli and find these $4,000 suits selling for only a quarter of the price. Likewise www.yoox.com and www.bluefly.com offer up to 80% off on designer sportswear, as well as tailored clothing.
You can even get custom shirts done cheap at www.bestcustomshirt.com or www.landsend.com. There are limitless opportunities for great deals online.
The best thing about shopping on the internet is that you don’t even have to leave your house or office. You can double your wardrobe for a fraction of the money and time I have covered a lot of this in my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend”
Needless to say, you’ll probably end up look more stylish than ever without having the hassle of traditional shopping…
"The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley
"Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida
"The Game" by Neil Strauss
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