You probably know this by now, but to be SURE…you can download last week’s “Natural Inner Game Coaching Sessions” to your ipod…REAL easy.
I suggest you do that - it’s totally free - and it’s a bit long, so it might be more “listenable” on an ipod. Of course, you can also listen online too - if that’s better for you.
I know, I am being dramatic…putting “death” in my subject line and all.
But, in truth, my goal is to say good-bye to “pick-up” as we know it - and introduce something non-gimmicky, and more natural…more REAL & EFFECTIVE.
The Natural Art of the Pick-Up
Just watching Mystery coach those poor, unfortunate guys on TV for 3 minutes makes me want to throw up in my mouth (sorry, TMI, I know…).
But, it’s TRUE man.
You can learn the BEST PUA skills and techniques, while avoiding the trap of becoming a “pick-up artist”.
You can get LOTS of girls without being seduced by “the game”.
In fact, I’d argue that the only way you can consistenly get interesting, attractive, quality girls is by avoiding BS PUA-gimmickry altogether.
You’re clear, right, that PUAs don’t really get girls - right? They can approach (sometimes), but lasting and strong attraction requires an entirely different
approach.
Or, if they land a date or two, that’s all it amounts to…PUA = short-term attraction (AT BEST).
BUT, some of the better “stuff” works short-term (I must admit)…you know it, and I know it.
I’ve just put the finishing touches (finally) on a program that provides the best of BOTH worlds:
1) The *best* PUA, field-tested techniques with;
2) A system for naturally, smoothly, meeting and attracting new women
The Natural Art of the Pick-Up
My hope is that it finally gives guys a strong alternative to “pick-up” for meeting and powerfully attracting women…therefore, today begins the “natural” movement, aka:
Death Of The “Pick-Up Artist”
For the lucky first guys to download their very own copy - well, I am making your day very special. You will also receive (again, via download…straight onto your computer or ipod or
whatever mp3 player you have) my CLASSIC program:
“Natural Attraction”
I will literally, really, actually…GIVE this to you ($200 value).
These 2 programs are the perfect complement, and the ideal companion for the guy seeking a natural, smooth solution to his dating/women challenges AND who’d like the PUA-edge, but without all the nonsense.
And you can have them both, for a limited time, in under 3 minutes (or as long as it takes you to read, click, type and download…)
Wanted to remind you to sign-up asap for tonight’s (Thurs, Oct 23) 6pm eastern teleseminar where I break down the 12 rules or laws of the natural.
I’d like you to attend - can you make it?
Now, if you can’t make the TIME, please register anyway - as I will be sending you the recorded audio after the fact. So, you will still get to listen to the call - just not LIVE. Same content though.
PS - Also, stand by, “The Natural Art of the Pick-Up” goes fully live tomorrow at 12pm eastern…you won’t want to miss this opportunity to get the program at a sizeable discount, OK? Be on the lookout for that tomorrow man.
My sole purpose with CEIC is to help guys find a NATURAL & lasting solution to their challenges with women - no band-aids, no performing…just real answers.
“The Natural Art of the Pick-Up” is a SYSTEM that leverages the BEST PUA social skill technology that exists, WITH all of my natural techniques and teachings. This program is THE course to get if you’re looking for the PUA-edge (and let’s admit it, there is an edge to it) without having to actually become a PUA. You get the best of both worlds, in other words…
I launched this program to my list some time ago…but, now I am opening this up to everyone, beginning Friday. Oh, and this will be selling for a special discount (33% off) for a very limited time.
So, remember, if you’re looking for a comprehensive SYSTEM for meeting and attracting women into your life…without having to become a pick-up artist (just watch Mystery’s show if you want to know what that’s so totally LAME), then you’ll want to both check out this Thursday’s teleseminar AND be standing by Friday at 12noon to download your copy.
Wanted you to know that I plan to host 2 inner game teleseminars this Thursday and next at 6pm eastern (but don’t fret if you can’t make the time…read on).
I plan to cover the 12 laws of unbreakable, natural, inner game. The goal of these is to help you take ACTION in the direction of growing real confidence, and self-esteem.
The development of a strong sense of self, confidence and esteem (all of which total one’s “inner game”) are a delicate, and often intense process. I strongly suggest you attend at least one of these, to get a feel for what I’m about.
Interested? Space is limited as my service will only hold so many calls (that’s no gimmick by the way), so I strongly suggest you sign-up asap.
Lastly, if you can’t make it, I’ll be issuing the audio to those who register on Friday. So, if you want to be able to listen-in after each call, you’ll want to sign-up as well.
Is it important that you be able to perfectly execute these 8? Absolutely NOT. Is it important though that you be competent with each? Absolutely.
#1) First you’ve gotta have great body language and tonality. If a girl sees that you’re needy in your body, she’ll lose interest and if she can sense that you’re insecure in your voice, she will also lose interest. Be heard, but don’t shout. If she has to say “huh?”, you’ve lost her.
#2) Next, you’ve gotta be able to open up the conversation. To my knowledge, there are 4 skills you can choose from: a direct approach, an environmental/situational, a teaser opener and an opinion opener. Depending upon the circumstances, any one of these will do the trick. There’s no need to become GREAT at any of these, just be competent and you’ll be fine, OK?
#3) Third, and this one’s hugely important, you’ve gotta be able to flirt. Flirting is what separates the friends from the boyfriends. Flirting builds sexual tension, which is mandatory in attracting women - no tension, no date - it’s that simple. Do this after the opener, and base it around what she says to you. Be tasteful, and don’t go TOO far with the cockiness. But, if you can find that edge of both a lite insult, but done with a great sense of humor, you’ll never have a lonely Saturday night again.
#4) Fourth, you’ve gotta be able to transition smoothly from flirting into connecting. In order for a woman to feel confident about giving you her number, she’s gotta feel connection with you. Makes sense right? In order then to influence the interaction away from the playful banter of flirting into more “getting to know you” talk, use my skill called baiting. This is where you dangle bait throughout the interaction, eliciting questions from her to you allowing her to transition the conversation into more “connect” based talking. If she takes the bait, so to speak, you know she’s attracted to you (why else would she want to know more about you then, right?).
#5) Fifth, Wide rapport is the essence to a solid connection when you first meet a girl. If you discover that you have one thing in common with a woman - say it’s rock climbing - then it’s natural to want to spend all of your time talking about just that. Well, that won’t get the job done man. You see, she needs to feel a strong sense of connection to truly want to carve out a few hours of her life for a date with you. Therefore, I suggest you find 3 commonalities. Takes a bit of art to do that, but the art is what makes pick-up fun. With 3 commonalities discovered, you’ve accomplished wide rapport…congratulations!
#6) Next, a bit of Kino can go a long way. I’m not talking about feeling her up here, or going wildly “sexual state” on her (thanks Gunwitch), but some subtle gentle touches, say to the hand or arm, maybe when making a simple point through the interaction, can go a long way to showing her that you are confident enough to enter and leave her physical space. The entering builds tension, and the leaving releases it. Subtleties like this place you in the leadership role in the interaction, again emphasizing that you aren’t her future BFF (gag).
#7) Seven - the compliment. You must state some level of interest in her. Flirting conveys sexual tension, yes - which solidifies attraction, if done effectively. But a compliment at this point in the interaction helps HER feel good in knowing that you are interested in her. If she’s stuck around for this long, she’s definitely interested in you and now, in order to feel secure that you’re a man of integrity and honesty, she will want to hear that you find her interesting and attractive in some way. A good compliment focuses on HER and not her GENETICS. Never compliment a woman’s eyes, hair, legs, boobs, ass or anything - not until you’re getting physically intimate with her - instead, allow her to feel SEEN by you by complimenting HER personality. Maybe she has a great sense of humor, a hip sense of style, whatever. Just acknowledge something about HER (and not her DNA), and you’ll be fine.
#8) Last, time to close it out with a number close - or, if this is a one night stand in the making - you move to a venue change. The number close is easy, use this and you’ll be fine:
“It’s been great chatting with you, but I’ve gotta run along to a lunch meeting (or whatever), but how can we continue this at another time?”.
The venue change requires a simple over-sell:
“Have you ever been to Art Cafe? They have the coolest environment in the west village, with amazing music, and we can grab some amazing latte and red velvet cake before I’ve gotta run home. What do you say, shall we?”
Either way, if she’s chatted with you for this long, and you’ve done the above simple steps, you’re sure to create a sturdy bridge to next time, whenever that is.
Keep it simple, and focused on these 8 steps and you’ll have a very sturdy social “spine” in the field out there. Yes, there is a bit of art in between all of these, but that can’t be taught and can only be learned thru live experience.
If you don’t own any of these skills, and want to learn them inside & out, backwards & forwards…Check out my new site at: www.natural-pickup.com where I break them all down, and throw in about 10 more for good measure.
It’s easy to get swept away with marketing, forums, blogs, posts, profiles, threads, comments and hype. It’s common to bounce around from forum, to blog, to site seeking some answers only to leave them all more confused than when you started. All of this eventually renders you clueless and PARALYZED. The key to this, like anything, is ACTION.
Be bad, for now…love it, embrace it, go with it. Yes, SUCK with women. BUT, start learning ways to be good and be patient with yourself (THE key). There is no magic bullet my man, and if there was someone would have found it and be selling it by now. But, beware of the HYPE that exists. You are entering a market of activity, with people competing for your attention and your dollar.
In other words, there is a LOT of information out there appealing to the “new guy”. There are a lot of gurus, and there are a lot of non-gurus…
Now, it’s only normal (these days) to go to the internet looking for answers. I did it, and found a great deal of help and success down the line. I mean, look at me now - I’ve got a great life, life with my girlfriend, work from home…I have the love of my life here, so I sure can’t complain about what the community has given me. BUT, I can sympathize with new guys who might be (who should be) confused about where to go for help out there in this crazy “pick-up” community.
The good news? It comes in 7 parts (kind of like a scale, or a spectrum…get my drift?):
First - read Neil’s book “The Game“. From there, you will see who was at Project Hollywood and who wasn’t. Now, there are many guys who weren’t at ProHo who are good guys and have something to offer. BUT, you can be damn sure that the guys who were there aren’t hiding behind an internet profile and are the real deal when it comes to “pick-up”. We were vetted, so to speak, by simply being there in the extraordinary think-tank that it was. We all learned from each other, and are all VERY good at meeting and attracting women.
Second - avoid reading tons of blogs and newsletters that exist. Pick a few and go with them. I still think asf is a good site to use as a forum (though I’ll be launching one soon…which will rival any and all) and think that a few others should be your limit (Thundercat’s site is fun, and useful, for example). Every guru has a newsletter series, and I suggest signing-up for 3 of them:
Mine (Of course right, but it provides a simple, healthy, balanced view of pick-up & the game)
Mystery OR Style’s (for the extremes…some of which might click with you) &
One other
Now, a word about David D. Listen, I love the guy and found his work a few years ago to be pretty helpful. It was a privilege appearing on his interview series, and speaking at his various seminars. But, once I got past the very very basic stage, his “stuff” wasn’t a real help to me. You see, the guy isn’t really a PUA. Now, he has found a few gimmicks which are tremendously helpful in getting guys MOVING. But, as for anything more intermediate, and advanced…he’s not your guy. Should you read his ebook and sign-up for his eletter? Sure, as there are some really killer tips in there. Most guys though need more…they need a philosophy, and they need real training wheels which will get them active and engaged in REAL interactions with women.
Only register for podcasts of those gurus whose newsletters you receive. There are many ways up the mountain, but it’s far better to narrow the volume of info you receive to a FEW. To expose yourself to too much is overkill and will (again) paralyze you.
Third - post an internet profile. Use Match, Nerve, eharmony, singles.net…whichever. You’re not looking to meet Ms. Right - though if you do, don’t kick her to the curb…PLEASE. The idea with internet dating is to PRACTICE and get your body used to being in front of real women. Many guys haven’t been with a woman for a meaningful amount of time for a while. At the least, you spend some time with a woman, and start to have real experiences with real women. Good stuff. And, if you take advantage of tip #5, you will be able to start practicing real-live social skills with real-live women. That’s a GOOD thing man. And, it’s the only way to success. If you’re bad for a while, don’t sweat it - we all were, and it’s a rites of passage.
(Someday ask me about the girl who literally got up from the table at Cafe Mogador here and walked out of the restaurant after I C&F’d her for the ump-teenth time - dude, it sucked, but I learned a TON from it)
Fourth - approach 3 women per day. Watch this video if you are clueless how to do it. Here, I demonstrate the “Jealous Girlfriend” opener. It’s one of many that work VERY regularly and will work for you:
Again, be willing to SUCK…and soon, you will be good. All of us had to be bad for awhile before we were good. It’s just a fact and it does no one a bit of good to sugar coat that my man.
Fifth - BUY A PROGRAM and use it (and only it) for 6 months. Most guys offer a comprehensive audio or DVD program which will teach you everything you need to know about being good at meeting and attracting women. I don’t care whose you use…well, that’s actually a lie, as I do suggest you use mine, The Natural Art of the Pick-Up.
Pick one program and go with it. Use it, wear it out, try everything in it. Listen to it 5 times, read it 5 times, and do everything it asks you to do. There are a ton of programs/products out there my friend. MOST of them will help you A LOT. The problem most guys have though is that they expect it to be a “quick fix” and an “easy solution” to the problem. Once they begin to be asked to lean into their comfort zones, they start looking for an easier, softer way.
There is no easier, softer way. And, regardless of who is marketing to you, their program will NOT BE EASIER! You will have to work thru your challenges, and most of the guru’s out there can help you do just that. BUT, you have to stick with them and not distract yourself with the massive volumes of information that exist out there.
That becomes a hindrance and a distraction. Things you DON’T NEED.
Sixth, if you need it…do a bootcamp. Save your seminar and workshop money, and find someone you really trust, with great reviews, and who really walks the walk. Register for his bootcamp and dive in WHOLE HOG. If they don’t deliver, get your money back - there are charlatans out there…and you shouldn’t be the victim of their marketing.
BUT, only do a bootcamp if the take-home program you choose doesn’t get you over the hump. If it’s a good one (like mine) it will do so, and it will offer ongoing support to work you through your nuanced issues.
LAST, Lucky #7, get a wingman. A partner in crime is essential. My guy was a super-cool dude from Israel Michel. We went out 3-4 nights per week, and practiced, had tons of fun, and formed a killer friendship. We have STORIES man! We helped each other, encouraged each other, and had each other’s back when the shit went down (and it did a few times…).
A good wing is critical. There will be nights when you don’t feel it, don’t want to go out, when you get blown-out 10 times in a row, when you want to just get drunk at the bar. A few nights of these in a row, and you’ll give up. This is when you need your wing to pick you up.
Find a guy in your local lair, or on meet-up, or on PAIR (asf’s wingman meetup system), or just recruit a buddy from the hood. Just find a dude that you LIKE and who is at your skill level. Michel and I met on an online forum (similar to asf) and realized we both dug Kung-Fu. We started hanging out, and picking-up girls as we did stuff around NYC. He’s an awesome guy, and he helped me tremendously.
If you do these 7 things, you will find success bro.
Your list of 5 enemies are:
- Impatience
- Frustration
- “Fuck-it” (you give up)
- TMI (too much information, see above) &
- Paralysis (as opposed to action - action being the only way out of your situation)
Ever have a one-night-stand? Don’t worry, your mom and your sister aren’t watching. I think you should have one, before it’s all over and done with man. There’s nothing quite like going out one night, meeting a woman, attracting her, connecting with her, and then…seducing her.
It’s fun, both for you AND for her. Don’t believe me? Well, then I doubt you’ve had one!
This happened somewhat regularly at Project Hollywood. I have also been able to pull-off the ONS before and after “The Game”…here’s a bit of my research for you.
There is a structure to the ONS, that if you can follow it, you will have your shot. The following is the section on this structure from my recent ebook release, “The Natural Art of the Pick-Up“.
The Structure of a One-Night-Stand (ONS)
Most of this material is geared to guys seeking a girlfriend, but if you’re not there yet, and you want to have sex with a woman the same night you meet her (and it’s clear she does too) then, remember this: You must venue change away from the “meet” venue, to a “connect” venue, then to the “seduction” venue. When she experiences you in another venue (in another environment) it STRENGTHENS the connection.
Suddenly, you aren’t the guy in the bar anymore. You’re the guy who took her for ice cream, the guy who knows that cool, intimate bar on that side street, the guy who showed you the amazing view of the harbor - whatever.
Also, people ARE different in different environments. So, quite naturally the connection is strengthened as you both now share a NEW context with each other and can see a new side of each other. In a way, that is exactly the point of dating: to experience a person in a new CONTEXT which will show you more about her. The effect is that it deepens the connection.
But, on an ONS, you need to build that in, using some intelligence. How to do this?
Never go from the MEET venue (the bar, for example) to the SEDUCTION venue (your apartment). Always include a CONNECT venue in between.
Here’s my structure for a One-Night-Stand:
1) MEET venue – BAR (for example).
Do E/H/C; you dig her, she digs you; you say: “you know, I need a little dessert before I turn in, want to go for an ice cream?” She agrees, you leave with her, Paris Promenade style (remember that kino technique?).
2) CONNECT venue – Dessert Spot
Here, you basically have your “first date” and establish more commonalities, but more importantly you go DEEPER into the topics you’ve earlier covered WIDELY. Also, you must “ground” yourself (we will cover this skill a bit later when we cover that “first date”). Lastly, you MUST kiss her HERE (or even, before). So, an intimate cafe is a good spot (for ice cream), or another bar (which sells ice cream, obviously). Some place cozy and more intimate.
Then you say something like: “Well, I’ve been talking all night about my dog, want to meet her quickly?” Or, a classic oversell works: “The view from my rooftop is incredible…you can see the entire city from there, including the GW bridge…and on a night as clear as this, it’s worth a quick look”.
Then, you toss in a wondrous token-resistance destroyer:
“But, you’ll only be allowed to stay 10 minutes - and I am serious about that - as I have an important meeting in the am and have to get up at 6 sharp, OK? Do, don’t get too comfortable”
3) SEDUCTION venue – your place
This brings the perfect opportunity to segue-way back to “your place” without saying it. This allows her a way to say “yes” to something other than: “want to go back to my place and have sex?” WHILE removing any resistance she may have to going by setting it up as being a “short stay”. If she says NO, then don’t push it. She will know “what’s up” if you invite her back to your apartment. If she agrees, then you know – “it’s on”.
As you can see, you never want to DIRECTLY venue change. It always needs to be for a reason OTHER than “let’s have sex”. At this point, she’s back at your place, she’s met the dog. Maybe you show her a picture album, or a cool movie you made on your computer. You’re sitting on the couch; you kiss her again and escalate matters from there….
Remember - if at any point, she says NO, then you back-off. This is to be used only in times when you both mutually agree that this is what you want, OK? Also,
That’s a very basic outline for an ONS, one that’s worked for me MANY times. I continue to discuss ways of escalation, and how to do so, again SMOOTHLY (as that is the true mark of the “natural”) as that selection continues.
"The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley
"Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida
"The Game" by Neil Strauss
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