Hey man -

My goal in working with men just like you is to help you learn how to get a girlfriend, and a hot girlfriend at that.

No guy should “settle” for what is just available (in fact, I wrote ebook, which is the ultimate how to get a girlfriend guide).

This is not a format for how to get a girlfriend in high school or for how to get a girlfriend online, but rather – in real life (nothing wrong with meeting women online, but it’s not my specialty).

Well I’d like to teach you the four steps that you need to take to meet a woman; not only an attractive woman, but a woman who is right for you so that she becomes your girlfriend. These four steps will help you get a girlfriend at 13 or 53.

It’s kind of an art, as you will see.

STEP #1

Step number one seems pretty obvious, but it’s really important. Get A Life!

Stop surfing the Internet. Stop reading articles like this every single day. Stop looking at the internet, or playing video games, or watching endless hours of “South Park” (my personal favorite TV show by the way). Get out into the world and start doing things.

Ask yourself this question, “How many people do you know who you can honestly say are really interesting people?” They are doing things that are different than other people. They are what I like to refer as individuals. Does that describe you??

I’m being a little snobbish and arrogant here, because I want to inspire you.

In fact, I want to piss you off.

You need to get a life. If you’re a guy who sucks with women, you’re probably not very happy or interesting.

You’re probably not really living the life you feel you should be living. A happy man is a man who lives in harmony with his nature (my short definition).

If you want to get a girlfriend, you need to get a life FIRST. So, get out into the world and do the things you’ve always wanted to do! OK?

If you don’t have a lot of money, be creative. Be imaginative. Be active. Get a life. Do cool, fun, interesting, adventurous things. I refuse to believe that those are not available to you right now. As soon as you finish reading this article, you can leave your house and do something interesting.

STEP #2

Step number two in how to get a girlfriends is to get some social skills. This actually happens as a result of being a socialized human being. Guys who are kind of private, insulated, and introverted tend to struggle with this.

Guess what? I’m an introvert. Typically men who need to learn social skills, don’t have them naturally, are kind of introverted and unsocialized.

If you get a life, (remember, that’s step #1), suddenly you will be around people and you’ll see that social skills are essential to learn to help you with things like approaching women.

When it comes down to how to get a girlfriend, approaching a woman is something you need to learn how to do. In fact, I would call it a rite of passage. Regardless of whether or not you meet the woman of your dreams through a cold approach (and I’m here to tell you that probably won’t), you need to learn to do a cold approach.

This is an experience that every man needs: to, on a certain day, see a woman and approach her, talk to her, and get her phone number. Every guy needs to have the experience of going from not knowing a woman to knowing her. It’s very powerful, and it changes your reality. It helps you know that you can go after the things you want in life, not only women, but everything.

So get some social skills. Learn how to approach women. Learn how to flirt. Learn how to escalate. Learn how to get a date. Learn how to date. There is an art to that. It’s not just dinner and a movie. Social skills are important.

Guys like me teach it. There are plenty of us coaches out there. I personally think I’m excellent at it. I know a number of others that are good at it too.

But again, get some social skills. That’s step #2.

STEP #3

Step number three is to get a social life. The nice thing that happens when you get a life and you get social skills is that you can merge these together into what I would call a healthy, balanced social life.

Things like: being the leader of your social circle & doing interesting things are pretty important.

Becoming the “go 2 guy” in your social circle - which means you’re out there in the community and you know what’s happening. You know what’s fun and adventurous. You know what’s just opening or what’s gotten the great reviews. Or, you know the kind of quiet, low key hidden places that no one else knows about and you lead your social circle in and through these adventurous experiences.

Suddenly, you become the “it” guy, the “cool” guy. People want to go and be with you and do the things that you’re doing.

This is again something that I had to undertake after Project Hollywood (you read “The Game” right? Yeah, that was me man…). Once that dissolved, I realized that “sarging” (aka, going out for the sole purpose of picking-up girls) wasn’t the end-all be-all to attracting women into my life.

I had to get out into the world and get a real social life. This means making friends and bringing those friends along with you on the particular outings you’re going on and making them fun and adventurous.

In other words: start doing the things you want to do and meet the other people who are there doing it with you.

It aint rocket science man.

Leave your house right now (well, as soon as you finish this article). Start doing all the things you want to do. And, meet the other people who are there doing it with you. This is how to get a social life.

STEP #4

Step number four might seem counter-intuitive, but that’s exactly why it’s the hardest one.

Step number four is to stop trying!

Step number one, you get a life. It becomes a natural way of life for you. Your lifestyle is fulfilling. It’s interesting. It’s adventurous. You’re out there doing it and living it on a regular basis.

Step umber two, you get some social skills. You don’t have to become Mystery, me, TylerDurden or Neil Strauss. You don’t need to become an expert pick-up artist or an expert at socializing. It makes people weird. Just get decent at meeting and attracting women. You don’t have to be great.

Once you get a social life, and you’re meeting women naturally and on a regular basis, THEN you stop trying.

Wanna know “the secret”? (And no, I’m not talking about the tacky movie that came out a couple years ago.)

The secret is that in order to get a girlfriend, you have to not be trying to get a girlfriend. Relationships happen when you’re not looking. It happened to me that way and it happens to most people that way.

It’s rare that a guy sees a girl across the street, approaches her, gets her number, takes her out on a date and they fall in love and live happily ever after. Usually, there’s a little more art to it than that. The art is in how you live your life.

This is step number four because it’s the highest level, the level of not-doing (ever read Zen??).

For a while, you’re going to have to try and try hard. You’re going to have to put a lot of energy into this and lean into your comfort zone on a regular basis. At a certain point, once you reach a level of aptitude, (not mastery, just aptitude) - stop trying.

Stop thinking about it! Stop reading websites about it (yes, this means YOU man). Get out into the world and make this a part of how you live on a daily basis.

The right woman will come along when you least expect it.

I’m leaving town for a week, and won’t be posting to the blog…so, let these concepts simmer a bit. But, I challenge you to get out and do something interesting, different and adventurous in the next week.

Also, if you’re looking for the complete, step-by-step plan to get a girlfriend, check out my ebook How to Get a Girlfriend.

Talk to you later!

Stephen.

Hey man -

Everyone likes a list, right?

Well, based on my approach to meeting women, there are 8 steps to a natural, solid “pick-up”.

Is it important that you be able to perfectly execute these 8? Absolutely NOT. Is it important though that you be competent with each? Absolutely.

#1) First you’ve gotta have great body language and tonality. If a girl sees that you’re needy in your body, she’ll lose interest and if she can sense that you’re insecure in your voice, she will also lose interest. Be heard, but don’t shout. If she has to say “huh?”, you’ve lost her.

#2) Next, you’ve gotta be able to open up the conversation. To my knowledge, there are 4 skills you can choose from: a direct approach, an environmental/situational, a teaser opener and an opinion opener. Depending upon the circumstances, any one of these will do the trick. There’s no need to become GREAT at any of these, just be competent and you’ll be fine, OK?

#3) Third, and this one’s hugely important, you’ve gotta be able to flirt. Flirting is what separates the friends from the boyfriends. Flirting builds sexual tension, which is mandatory in attracting women - no tension, no date - it’s that simple. Do this after the opener, and base it around what she says to you. Be tasteful, and don’t go TOO far with the cockiness. But, if you can find that edge of both a lite insult, but done with a great sense of humor, you’ll never have a lonely Saturday night again.

#4) Fourth, you’ve gotta be able to transition smoothly from flirting into connecting. In order for a woman to feel confident about giving you her number, she’s gotta feel connection with you. Makes sense right? In order then to influence the interaction away from the playful banter of flirting into more “getting to know you” talk, use my skill called baiting. This is where you dangle bait throughout the interaction, eliciting questions from her to you allowing her to transition the conversation into more “connect” based talking. If she takes the bait, so to speak, you know she’s attracted to you (why else would she want to know more about you then, right?).

#5) Fifth, Wide rapport is the essence to a solid connection when you first meet a girl. If you discover that you have one thing in common with a woman - say it’s rock climbing - then it’s natural to want to spend all of your time talking about just that. Well, that won’t get the job done man. You see, she needs to feel a strong sense of connection to truly want to carve out a few hours of her life for a date with you. Therefore, I suggest you find 3 commonalities. Takes a bit of art to do that, but the art is what makes pick-up fun. With 3 commonalities discovered, you’ve accomplished wide rapport…congratulations!

#6) Next, a bit of Kino can go a long way. I’m not talking about feeling her up here, or going wildly “sexual state” on her (thanks Gunwitch), but some subtle gentle touches, say to the hand or arm, maybe when making a simple point through the interaction, can go a long way to showing her that you are confident enough to enter and leave her physical space. The entering builds tension, and the leaving releases it. Subtleties like this place you in the leadership role in the interaction, again emphasizing that you aren’t her future BFF (gag).

#7) Seven - the compliment. You must state some level of interest in her. Flirting conveys sexual tension, yes - which solidifies attraction, if done effectively. But a compliment at this point in the interaction helps HER feel good in knowing that you are interested in her. If she’s stuck around for this long, she’s definitely interested in you and now, in order to feel secure that you’re a man of integrity and honesty, she will want to hear that you find her interesting and attractive in some way. A good compliment focuses on HER and not her GENETICS. Never compliment a woman’s eyes, hair, legs, boobs, ass or anything - not until you’re getting physically intimate with her - instead, allow her to feel SEEN by you by complimenting HER personality. Maybe she has a great sense of humor, a hip sense of style, whatever. Just acknowledge something about HER (and not her DNA), and you’ll be fine.

#8) Last, time to close it out with a number close - or, if this is a one night stand in the making - you move to a venue change. The number close is easy, use this and you’ll be fine:

“It’s been great chatting with you, but I’ve gotta run along to a lunch meeting (or whatever), but how can we continue this at another time?”.

The venue change requires a simple over-sell:

“Have you ever been to Art Cafe? They have the coolest environment in the west village, with amazing music, and we can grab some amazing latte and red velvet cake before I’ve gotta run home. What do you say, shall we?”

Either way, if she’s chatted with you for this long, and you’ve done the above simple steps, you’re sure to create a sturdy bridge to next time, whenever that is.

Keep it simple, and focused on these 8 steps and you’ll have a very sturdy social “spine” in the field out there. Yes, there is a bit of art in between all of these, but that can’t be taught and can only be learned thru live experience.

If you don’t own any of these skills, and want to learn them inside & out, backwards & forwards…Check out my new site at: www.natural-pickup.com where I break them all down, and throw in about 10 more for good measure.

Have an awesome weekend!

Stephen

Here - on video - is my 4-step simplified process to getting a girlfriend, enjoy and have an awesome weekend!

Learn the social skills here:

How to Get a Girlfriend

This is a how to get a girl friend mailbag question…(yes, I do respond to emails - so, feel free to send man!)

Finding the right kind of women “for me” is everyone’s challenge. I have found though that there are very solid techniques to apply to my lifestyle which can help this dilemma. My friend JP illustrated his particular situation very nicely. Let’s hear from him.

“Hello Stephen,

JP”

Anyone relate to this? I sure do. When I was living in LA, during the Project Hollywood experiment, we were surrounded by some of the hottest, swankiest bars/clubs in the world – yet, very often, the women there could barely hold a conversation about the weather…it got boring, FAST.

When I came back to New York, I made it a point to place myself in environments where the women I was interested would frequent. I am certainly not Einstein, but I am no dummy either. I was really looking to be around intelligent, artsy, witty, pretty, stylish and strong women. I was also hoping to meet women that shared interests in the same activities and had some cultural sophistication.

A slight digression…here’s a rule of thumb from the FRONT lines…the higher the cover charge – be it a club/lounge/bar - the dumber the women (AND men) in the venue…just a tidbit, for your information…

So, the first thing I had to do was to start DOING things that I wanted to do – and not from the point of view of meeting women. I had to start really engaging my interests, and trying them on in the real world. It was important that I stop focusing too much on meeting Ms. Right, and instead focus on becoming Mr. Right. To meet the right kind of women for me, I had to start really living in the world, doing the things that I wanted to do – then, I had to start meeting the people there doing those things too.

In New York, there are plenty of cultural institutions, stores, classes and events, where there are interesting, sophisticated, attractive women. But, in order to find the ones right for me, I had to venture out and explore the ones that I wanted to.

I found galleries a great place to begin. I also found that by getting involved in various groups/clubs in New York (NOT PUA LAIRS), I met similar people. I took classes, I learned a lot – I GOT INVOLVED.

Once I got really involved, I then became a leader within that environment. This is very important. The more in the center of the event/class/venue you are, the more apt you are to become known and respected within that community.

That’s an important word – ‘community’. Men who have challenges meeting women of the right ilk are themselves not surrounded by a community truly reflective of themselves…they are not engaged in a balanced way in the world.

Once you find yourself in, or creating, a community – begin to lead the group by doing things you want to do. Organize friends for a party, a trip, or an outing, explore new restaurants/galleries/shows etc. Tell them that they can bring friends along if they like – then fold their friends into the social circle.

This takes time, but it greatly enhances the likelihood of meeting someone with whom you share commonalities AND it is very easy to meet women through your circle of friends – no pick-up lines needed, just an introduction from a friend. When people meet others through a circle of friends, they are more relaxed and open anyway – increasing the likelihood of actually meeting the real girl, instead of the ‘bar chick’ personality, filled with moves of defense, and masks of cool.

I had a client recently who wanted to meet more women, while he also wanted to learn to drive a Formula 1 vehicle. Wild eh? He knew of a place where he could actually get behind the wheel of such a car, and I challenged him to make a down payment on the school within 30 days. He did so, and had a blast learning to drive these cars. One day, while having lunch at the school, a guy he was in class with and his sister came in and joined him. She was there to watch, and my guy was friends with her brother already. They sat down, his friend introduced them to each other, my guy used a bit of flirting, baiting and storytelling…voila…date, date, date, date….long-term relationship.

I really think that’s how it works guys. Most women have a paradigm for “how they want to meet a guy” – and it is RARELY that she wants to meet him in a bar. Women who are intelligent and cool don’t want to tell their mothers that they met their current boyfriend at Deep or Ceilo (lame, loud clubs in NYC)…I assure you.

SN.

PRESENTING: The Pick-Up Newbie Manifesto!

Are you new to all this? Fresh off the AFC-boat?

Well, I got some good news and some bad news.

First the BAD news…

It’s easy to get swept away with marketing, forums, blogs, posts, profiles, threads, comments and hype. It’s common to bounce around from forum, to blog, to site seeking some answers only to leave them all more confused than when you started. All of this eventually renders you clueless and PARALYZED. The key to this, like anything, is ACTION.

Be bad, for now…love it, embrace it, go with it. Yes, SUCK with women. BUT, start learning ways to be good and be patient with yourself (THE key). There is no magic bullet my man, and if there was someone would have found it and be selling it by now. But, beware of the HYPE that exists. You are entering a market of activity, with people competing for your attention and your dollar.

In other words, there is a LOT of information out there appealing to the “new guy”. There are a lot of gurus, and there are a lot of non-gurus…

Now, it’s only normal (these days) to go to the internet looking for answers. I did it, and found a great deal of help and success down the line. I mean, look at me now - I’ve got a great life, life with my girlfriend, work from home…I have the love of my life here, so I sure can’t complain about what the community has given me. BUT, I can sympathize with new guys who might be (who should be) confused about where to go for help out there in this crazy “pick-up” community.

The good news? It comes in 7 parts (kind of like a scale, or a spectrum…get my drift?):

First - read Neil’s book “The Game“. From there, you will see who was at Project Hollywood and who wasn’t. Now, there are many guys who weren’t at ProHo who are good guys and have something to offer. BUT, you can be damn sure that the guys who were there aren’t hiding behind an internet profile and are the real deal when it comes to “pick-up”. We were vetted, so to speak, by simply being there in the extraordinary think-tank that it was. We all learned from each other, and are all VERY good at meeting and attracting women.

Second - avoid reading tons of blogs and newsletters that exist. Pick a few and go with them. I still think asf is a good site to use as a forum (though I’ll be launching one soon…which will rival any and all) and think that a few others should be your limit (Thundercat’s site is fun, and useful, for example). Every guru has a newsletter series, and I suggest signing-up for 3 of them:

Mine (Of course right, but it provides a simple, healthy, balanced view of pick-up & the game)
Mystery OR Style’s (for the extremes…some of which might click with you) &
One other

Now, a word about David D. Listen, I love the guy and found his work a few years ago to be pretty helpful. It was a privilege appearing on his interview series, and speaking at his various seminars. But, once I got past the very very basic stage, his “stuff” wasn’t a real help to me. You see, the guy isn’t really a PUA. Now, he has found a few gimmicks which are tremendously helpful in getting guys MOVING. But, as for anything more intermediate, and advanced…he’s not your guy. Should you read his ebook and sign-up for his eletter? Sure, as there are some really killer tips in there. Most guys though need more…they need a philosophy, and they need real training wheels which will get them active and engaged in REAL interactions with women.

Only register for podcasts of those gurus whose newsletters you receive. There are many ways up the mountain, but it’s far better to narrow the volume of info you receive to a FEW. To expose yourself to too much is overkill and will (again) paralyze you.

Third - post an internet profile. Use Match, Nerve, eharmony, singles.net…whichever. You’re not looking to meet Ms. Right - though if you do, don’t kick her to the curb…PLEASE. The idea with internet dating is to PRACTICE and get your body used to being in front of real women. Many guys haven’t been with a woman for a meaningful amount of time for a while. At the least, you spend some time with a woman, and start to have real experiences with real women. Good stuff. And, if you take advantage of tip #5, you will be able to start practicing real-live social skills with real-live women. That’s a GOOD thing man. And, it’s the only way to success. If you’re bad for a while, don’t sweat it - we all were, and it’s a rites of passage.

(Someday ask me about the girl who literally got up from the table at Cafe Mogador here and walked out of the restaurant after I C&F’d her for the ump-teenth time - dude, it sucked, but I learned a TON from it)

Fourth - approach 3 women per day. Watch this video if you are clueless how to do it. Here, I demonstrate the “Jealous Girlfriend” opener. It’s one of many that work VERY regularly and will work for you:

Again, be willing to SUCK…and soon, you will be good. All of us had to be bad for awhile before we were good. It’s just a fact and it does no one a bit of good to sugar coat that my man.

Fifth - BUY A PROGRAM and use it (and only it) for 6 months. Most guys offer a comprehensive audio or DVD program which will teach you everything you need to know about being good at meeting and attracting women. I don’t care whose you use…well, that’s actually a lie, as I do suggest you use mine, The Natural Art of the Pick-Up.

Pick one program and go with it. Use it, wear it out, try everything in it. Listen to it 5 times, read it 5 times, and do everything it asks you to do. There are a ton of programs/products out there my friend. MOST of them will help you A LOT. The problem most guys have though is that they expect it to be a “quick fix” and an “easy solution” to the problem. Once they begin to be asked to lean into their comfort zones, they start looking for an easier, softer way.

There is no easier, softer way. And, regardless of who is marketing to you, their program will NOT BE EASIER! You will have to work thru your challenges, and most of the guru’s out there can help you do just that. BUT, you have to stick with them and not distract yourself with the massive volumes of information that exist out there.

That becomes a hindrance and a distraction. Things you DON’T NEED.

Sixth, if you need it…do a bootcamp. Save your seminar and workshop money, and find someone you really trust, with great reviews, and who really walks the walk. Register for his bootcamp and dive in WHOLE HOG. If they don’t deliver, get your money back - there are charlatans out there…and you shouldn’t be the victim of their marketing.

BUT, only do a bootcamp if the take-home program you choose doesn’t get you over the hump. If it’s a good one (like mine) it will do so, and it will offer ongoing support to work you through your nuanced issues.

LAST, Lucky #7, get a wingman. A partner in crime is essential. My guy was a super-cool dude from Israel Michel. We went out 3-4 nights per week, and practiced, had tons of fun, and formed a killer friendship. We have STORIES man! We helped each other, encouraged each other, and had each other’s back when the shit went down (and it did a few times…).

A good wing is critical. There will be nights when you don’t feel it, don’t want to go out, when you get blown-out 10 times in a row, when you want to just get drunk at the bar. A few nights of these in a row, and you’ll give up. This is when you need your wing to pick you up.

Find a guy in your local lair, or on meet-up, or on PAIR (asf’s wingman meetup system), or just recruit a buddy from the hood. Just find a dude that you LIKE and who is at your skill level. Michel and I met on an online forum (similar to asf) and realized we both dug Kung-Fu. We started hanging out, and picking-up girls as we did stuff around NYC. He’s an awesome guy, and he helped me tremendously.

If you do these 7 things, you will find success bro.

Your list of 5 enemies are:

- Impatience

- Frustration

- “Fuck-it” (you give up)

- TMI (too much information, see above) &

- Paralysis (as opposed to action - action being the only way out of your situation)

Time to stop reading, and get moving.

Stephen Nash
(Playboy)

As promised, my friend Barry Kirkey (aka, “26″/”Extramask” from “The Game”) has provided his first installment on developing your sense of humor/comedy skills…and in particular, in how that relates to attracting women.

I’d like to thank him for his guest article on the How to Get a Girlfriend blog today…

And now, I hand the mic to Barry…

****************************************************

Do you get frustrated in social situations because you can’t express your sense of humor? If you are, then you might get something out of this article.

If you can’t express your humor, you might even ask yourself whether you have a sense of humor at all!

I think the odds are in favor that you do have one; it’s just not expressed or developed to full potential. The bottom line is this: if you’re capable of laughing, there is hope for you.

I won’t dare suggest that developing humor is done easily, but it’s possible. Each individual learns at his/her own speed (unless you’re an idiot), so patience is a real virtue in this case.

People who are “funny” can usually retrieve information they already have in their head very quickly. They can access information almost at a whim and throw it into a joke every 30 seconds or less. Quick retrieval skills are sometimes a natural gift, but they can also be learned through exposure and practice – also known as experience.

Note:
Quick Retrieval is not to be confused with Quick Release. That has to do with masturbating. More on that in another article. Stupid.

This is an extremely complicated topic, as it touches on a number of different sciences (i.e. psychology, neuropsychology, anthropology, etc.), and would take several lifetimes to completely understand.

Instead of an in depth analysis and exploration (I’m not even intelligent.), I offer some small things you can do to kick-start the comedification process:

Focus on one person at a time. Bitch.

Pick a close friend who likes to laugh, and find out what type of jokes she likes. Unless you’re comfortable with it, don’t ask obvious questions outright – that would be giving yourself away, plus the answer might be too complicated – instead, try dropping hints like:

• “I want to rent a funny movie. Do you know any good old comedies?”
• “Did you watch The Office last night?”

Once you find out what she likes, you can drop subtle jokes. Here is a good example which I find very effective (especially in an office environment):

If you find out that she likes “Austin Powers” there is a joke in the first film where you can only see the top of his torso and his head. He pretends to go down an escalator, then an elevator simply by moving his knees downward. This joke is simple and surprisingly funny to almost everyone – and it works perfect with cubicle walls. You can even change it up, by doing a “floating head” or a “mini-Farris wheel.” (The trick is – keep your feet in the same spot, just contort your body as this needs to give the impression that your whole body is moving).

Okay, this might be a very simple example, but most people will find it very funny, as if they had never seen this joke before. Also, this is repeatable and gets people laughing each time.

Let me summarize my point: focusing your jokes on one person gives you some beginner experience on reading individual personalities and learning which jokes are effective with them. If you can practice this with more people, you’ll eventually be quicker at it, and you’ll be able to do it without even thinking.

Stick to the classics until you develop your own, comfortable style (urinate).

In my own mind, the floating Austin Powers joke is awesome. I don’t know that he invented it, but it works and it always will. This is also true with other forms of comedy, and I strongly recommend you explore comedy “roots” by looking at old shows/movies (i.e., The Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, etc.), or old stand-up routines (Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld, Mike Seaver, Kobe Bryant, Jesus, Titanic – the boat, President Dwight Eisenhower, etc.). By doing this, you can effectively develop your own roots over time.

Be careful though! Some of this old classic stuff is “Lame” and not funny anymore. But use that to your advantage. You can take people by surprise if you knowingly throw in a joke that’s very obviously bad. Here is an example:

There is an old show from the 1950’s called “They Honeymooners” starring Jackie Gleason. While the show itself may not be funny with the kids today, there are some “lil’ nuggets” in there that could work. Throughout the show you’ll notice that Gleason’s character sometimes uses gibberish words when under stress. My personal favorite is “A hamana hamana hamana.” Try using this with your peers at inappropriate times. It usually gets a laugh if you deliver it confidently.

These are just simple examples and simple ways of practicing jokes. Right now, simple is good because, overall, developing a great sense of humor is difficult and complicated. The best way to start is by using simple, easy-to-remember techniques. Simple.

Why? Because your mind will queue the simple jokes more readily, making it easier for you to perform them spontaneously. Do this regularly, and you’ve given yourself a healthy start on the path of being a funny-fuck! That’s the first step joke-face magee!

To learn more, please give me gold, and then eat me.

To Learn More About Barry Kirkey & His Revolution 31 Coaching/Consulting Company, Click Here:

Revolution 31

*********************************

Thanks Barry!

Entertaining, right? Barry’s one of the best around here, and if you do give him gold, it will be VERY well spent…

He’ll be back next week with his next lesson, so stay tuned.

And I’ll be posting here again soon,

Sn.
How to Get a Girlfriend

Hey -

I thought that a good Friday post would be my techniques for getting into an open & charged “social state” before you go out.

I’ve come up with 5…but I’d love to know your methods too.

Is there anything you do?
Music you listen to?
Something you say to yourself before going into the club/bar/party/event…?
Something you wear?

What is it for YOU?

I’ve recorded a podcast on it, as I think it will prove to be something valuable for you to listen to just before you go out to meet women, or before you go on a date.

I’d love your feedback on it, so feel free to post any comments you have on the podcast here.

Also, I’ve included clips from my 2 favorite songs to listen to just before I go out. These were particularly helpful during Project Hollywood, when we’d be heading out each and every night. So, you can imagine how “pump-me-up” these songs are…trust me

So, have you signed up for my podcast yet?? If not, click the link below, and be hearing this episode in under 60 secs.

http://www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com/blog/podcast/

ENJOY! And, please feel free to post YOUR techniques here to the blog…

Happy weekend -
Stephen.

PS - seen me on Squidoo yet? Check it out and fill-in my latest poll here:

http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-a-girlfriend-with-StephenNash

Hi there -

Got an interesting mailbag the other day, and thought to convert it into an article, as it highlights some principles I enjoy teaching.

Now, let me preface this discussion by saying this – the GOAL (in some respects) of getting GOOD with women is to never hear the following phrase:

“Let’s Just Be Friends…”

Makes me gag just to type it.

BUT – there are times when it happens…and there is very little we can do about it.

Very little? So, that means there is something we CAN do about it?

YES.

I’ll let my friend Gene pose his question/experience…and I’ll be back in just a moment with some feedback.

“I had a question from a dating experience I had over the last month I wanted to ask you about.

Gene”

Gene –

Good question (Pear-shaped? Can anyone explain?).

Here’s what I would do:

1) Definitely date other women

…that’s a no brainer for sure.

This way, you get your mind off of her and begin to see the other options that are out there. This automatically helps you reclaim some power that this other girl now holds over you.

Waiting for her in ANY form is destructive to your self-esteem. When things are “right” for a relationship, nothing can keep the two of you apart, and after four dates it is “legal” for both parties to call each other with no prompting.

So, we can safely assume here that “friends” is the road…and that there is no other for now.

However, being friends with women is a GOOD thing…

It gives you a woman that is now in your social circle with whom you can socialize…making it easier to meet OTHER women (her friends, for example).

2) Begin to “lead” your social circle (re-read that part of the ebook)

So, organize outings; explore a new neighborhood; check out a new restaurant/venue; do something off-beat, cultural or otherwise adventurous…all with your “crew”.

Be sure to invite the girl in question. Just put her in the rotation of friends you ask to do stuff with.

What happens here is that she begins to see that you are serious about being “friends” and that you aren’t needy for her attention.

This will help deflate whatever bad/wierd feelings remain from the old dating scenario and will help you two “start over”, so to speak…

If there is any real chemistry/connection there, that will take over and something natural can then happen.

I’ve seen plenty of examples where a guy just laid back and opened himself to the “friends” scenario…and guess what? Once he relaxed, she got INTERESTED.

One nice thing about leading your social circle is that by being in the eye of the storm, you become the “high value” person in the group.

If a single woman is along, you instantly become the best option.

Oh, and if there are new women along…they will subconsciously seek your approval when in the pilot position. They’ll be looking to be accepted by the group, and it’s your opinion that matters.

Feel free to bring new women that you are dating along on the outing. A little jealousy plotline never hurts, and it shows her that you’ve truly moved on.

Plus, she might have some cool female friends to bring along…a great way to meet new women.

Clear?

Oh, and one VERY important final word…

Never ever ever give a gift or pay for an expensive meal with a woman that you aren’t SERIOUSLY involved with (you’ve had sex, for example).

Otherwise, it comes across as needy & insecure…let that be clear to everyone reading this.

Over ‘n out…

Stephen.

What does it mean to be both a man, and to flirt? Seems contradictory in a way doesn’t it?

Most guys hear the word man and instantly envision the traditional Marlboro Man pose, with lowered brow, and suspicious gaze…

In “How To Get A Girlfriend” I talk endlessly about ways to develop your masculinity, while also allowing for a sense of humor that is CONFIDENT and not NEEDY. A cocky & playful sense of humor is essential to skillful flirting.

So, lets get real and be serious about this for a moment…or, better yet, let’s NOT. Being too serious, and trying to flirt, is like C3PO trying to break dance. So, how can we take the tension out of dating, while maintaining effectiveness?

Listen, I work with a lot of guys and I know that most of them feel pretty clueless when it comes to flirting. They either overdo it, and come off like a horse’s $&# or the don’t do it enough, failing to create any sexual tension.

These guys tend to live with the “nice guy” label, and have many female “friends” in their lives but little romance.

The first key to flirting is to RELAX. When you are uptight about a girl “liking you”, she will sense it and lose interest FAST. This is not rocket science here guys!

When you feel this way, look her in the eye and imagine her snoring. I know it sounds strange, but when you see that pretty face of hers blaring out a loud snore while asleep, she tends to lose all the importance you have given her. The idea is to realize that she is not deserving of your power, so why be freaked out in her presence?

Second, being flirtatious means being playful. There is a lot written up out there about the importance of being “cocky”. Frankly, this idea is played out. The guys I meet tell me the same thing:

“Every time I get cocky with her, she loses interest in me. I always come off like an ass!”

We call it the David D syndrome…too much “cocky” and not enough “funny”.

Yep. That’s why we don’t talk cocky here. The key is to be PLAYFUL. Teasing her is GREAT. Treat her like she’s the nerdy kid in high school. When she does something dumb, bust her on it. When you do this though, do it with a smile – be sure she knows you are teasing her. Otherwise, without the playful attitude, you will be categorized as a jerk.

Incidentally, NEVER make fun of her looks. Feel free to compliment her “look”, but never tease her about her genetic appearance. Tease and bust on her behavior only. This is where the fun happens.

The magic combination is to combine this playful attitude with being a gentleman. Open doors, pull out the chairs, offer your arm when going over the curb, help with her jacket…all of those chivalrous things…DO THEM.

Feel free to be as nice and courteous to her as possible. But, be sure to mix that with teasing and a playful combination. Having this mixture allows you to be a gentleman. Without it, you become her “friend” and a “nice guy”. Yuck!

By revealing that you are considerate and fun, you become the big winner. It is the essence of what is called “push/pull”. I cover this in greater detail in my ebook and audio program. For now, just note that when you tease her, you subtly (psychically) push her away. When you are considerate and chivalrous, you pull her towards you. This creates TENSION.

This tension is also known as – Sexual Tension.

To flirt like a man means to be the master of tension. When to dial it up, when to slow it down, and when to drop it altogether. It takes experience to master it, but focus on these principles to ride the fast track:

• Relax – nothing is more unattractive than an uptight guy, chill out and lower the stakes;
• Playful – tease her, poke fun at her, and do it with a smile;
• Gentleman – Open doors, offer your hand and make her feel special;
• Confidence – do all of the above with confidence, and you will help her feel comfortable and valuable…this combo makes you the big winner.

If you’re looking for help on how to get a girlfriend, and other dating and relationship advice, then you ought to check out my ebook. Or, stay tuned to the blog as I post here regularly with advice for guys on how to get a girlfriend.

(sorry if that seems a bit wordy there, trying to get that keyword phrase on my pages here a lot. Which keyword phrase you ask? How To Get A Girlfriend, of course… so thanks for asking)

Over ‘n out - off to see that film “The Orphanage” with some friends.

Talk later,

Stephen.

Hey there -

I’m good friends with Carlos Xuma…and we have a lot in common in terms of what we teach guys.

One of those topics is SOCIAL SKILLS. Obviously, these are key when meeting and dating women. The great thing about learning social skills though is that they translate into other parts of your life.

I’m all about learning ways to meet and date more women. But, I don’t think it’s smart to micro-focus on that one area. Why? Well, my research has shown that guys who struggle with women ALSO struggle elsewhere in their lives - particularly when it comes to relating to other people.

So, it seems SMART to me to learn skills rather than gimmicks. Skills can be valuable to you in other areas of your life like:

Networking
Social Circle
Family
The Office
Community
School

Virtually anywhere you go, and where there are people, you NEED social skills. If you want to get ahead in school, you NEED social skills. If you want to be a leader in your community, you NEED social skills. If you want to run for local office, you NEED social skills. If you want to be the next Barack Obama, you NEED social skills.

AND, if you want more success with women…YOU NEED SOCIAL SKILLS!

OK, I think I’ve made my point.

Well, Carlos Xuma is launching a product today called “Power Social Skills”, and I highly recommend that you grab a copy fast.

And, in order to give you ample incentive, if you buy Carlos’ program via MY link (below), I’ll throw in a free copy of “Natural Attraction”!

I’ll send you a link where you can download the “Natural Attraction” mp3 files and start listening in 5 minutes. “Natural Attraction” covers EVERYTHING you need to know about meeting women – all the details on “Engage/Hook/Connect”, flirting, storytelling, baiting, connecting, approaching, escalating…you name it!

Did you know that I recorded this audio program just after “Project Hollywood” (the epic adventure Neil Strauss covers in “The Game”)? So, it’s FULL of highly sophisticated techniques on meeting women (that’s putting it mildly).

I also lead you step-by-step through my state of the art exercises to download these skills “Matrix”-style right into your brain. And it usually sells for $349! This is your chance to get it for NOTHING.

This is VERY rare offer…one that I suggest you seize ASAP.

You can get it for free if you buy Carlos’ program via my link below (yes, as I’ve said, this is an affiliate program – full disclosure here, I’ll make a nickel off of this).

Then, all you’ll need to do is send me an email with your receipt of purchase attached, and I will reply with a link to the download page. Pretty simple eh?

You can be listening to Disk 1 of “Natural Attraction” in 5 minutes and work thru the entire program while Carlos’ program ships to you in the mail…but only if you are able to secure your order TODAY (and I hear sales have started VERY well).

Here’s the link. Go check it out right NOW:

Stephen Nash’s Link To Carlos Xuma’s Power Social Skills Program

This link will come down on Thursday, January 17th at 12:30pm eastern time…so get it while you can man.

SN.

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